My goldfish is at the vet

[dull boy]

He just hasn't been the same since my son stole the scuba diving figure from his tank. He stopped eating and for a while we would take him out and feed him through a tube, but the vet said removing him so often was dangerous. I just don't know what to do. My girlfriend is sobbing regularly and it's keeping me up at night. I honestly could give a fuck less. They have more just like him at Petsmart. I tried replacing him, but my girlfriend apparently has a photographic memory when it comes to the details of our fish and spotted the imposter in no time. This has left me sleeping on the couch where I'm forced to stare at the empty fishbowl all night. It's started to get to me.

Anyone been through anything similar? I could sure use the guidance of such reputable people as yourselves.

If any of you want to visit (@Destroyer), we won't be here because that's stupid, but my fish could probably use the moral support.