Im here

[N10tionalMalice]

Too many emcees on the mic today,
Thinkin' they can cook it up like they Bobby Flay,
When even their mama thinks that they mind is gone,
When they do it over and over like a f'kin wind up doll,
So, One think I must say, is to think before u lay it,
Cuz Im here to correct this shit, and this the only time Ima say it

Oh I dont think y'all understand, so let me clear it up,
I dont give a fuck, and my success is a must,
So you're required to stop, drop, and roll as I spit this fire,
I desire to be the best, when your desire is just tired,
Im a hired hitman to kill everything and everyone,
Get in my way and you'll get murdered with these deadly and clever puns
I put two guns up, just to clap at each other
Mother, please may I let 'em spray at these fuckin busters
Cuz Im done playin' around,
Now Ima end ur little career like a Bobby Brown
But hey, its ok errybody, cuz America's got talent
Ha, ya bout as much as Irv Gotti has on a f'kin tablet
Uh oh u thought u had it but what u have is shit,
Select all and delete, and open up a new bag of tricks,

Cuz, Too many emcees on the mic today,
Thinkin' they can cook it up like they Bobby Flay,
When even their mama thinks that they mind is gone,
When they do it over and over like a f 'kin wind up doll,
So, One think I must say, is to think before u lay it,
Cuz Im here to correct this shit, and this the only time Ima say it

Now by the end of this verse, the hearse'll be he here to get ya,
Cuz I split ya wig so quick there wasent even time for pictures,
Why u cryin' dude? U should be relieved its over,
Now Ima take yo bitch and get lucky, like a four leaf clover
Rangin' in my Rover, lookin for my next victim,
Ima pistol whip 'em with a gat, my venom is non fiction,
Is it clear to u clowns yet?
Its my time bitch, you'll be forever on deck,
I will not be disrespected, you'll get checked quick,
And rushed to the hospital, bcuz IM on my sick shit,
Welcome to my hit list, I wouldn't wanna be you,
Ima leave u split and sewed up, and u never had a clue,
Hit u like a typhoon, Im hot like a Miami summer afternoon,
You harpoon poons think u can harp with my tune,
But you'll be left hungry, like I took all your forks and spoons,
Ima rude dude on a thread, and Im nice on a mic,
I'll put u to bed without a fight, and turn out ya lights
Simplistic rhymes, with intent of the criminal nature,
So when the punchline hits ya, you'll feel like Nasty Nate just raped ya

Way Too many emcees on the mic today,
Thinkin' they can cook it up like they Bobby Flay,
When even their mama thinks that they mind is gone,
When they do it over and over like a f'kin wind up doll,
So One think I must say, is to think before u lay it,
Cuz Im here to correct this shit, and thats the last time Ima say it

[AndyHiro]

Hey bro, this is sick as shit. Good to see someone channel some balls for once. I bet you can even take on Bags. Keep it up bro!

[N10tionalMalice]

Thx bro Im still learning

[theMuzzl3]

You dropped some dope lines for a battle situation. Way better than I can do and I've been trying for a month (not specifically on that, but writing in general).

My advice is to use more word play, which I recently looked up:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wordplay

That may help -- and I may have missed some word plays where things had double meaning in your verse... I am not criticizing your writing at all.

In fact, I have a hit list that I'd love to hand to you!

[AndyHiro]

Goddamnit there is no hope for you Muzzle

[N10tionalMalice]

U have a hit list u want to hand to me? Like of ppl that u want to go after that have gone at u?!? My appologies if Im understanding incorrectly bro, but 1st off I appriciate the feedback and for reading my shit period! But hey if ppl dont read my drops, aight by me cuz then Ima sneak on 'em like a sniper when I start battling! ;-) But look homie I cant fight ur battles for u, plus Im absolute garbage compared to some of these dudes on here tbh, bcuz its all about ur depth, inteligence and delivery on here...and Im still pretty basic, dumb at most times, lol, and Im definitely still working on my delivery! BUT I have the most important tool u can have that trumps all of those, wait for it...CONFIDENCE Bro!!! Lol! u dont seem to feel to confident in urself homie! Anybody can beat Anybody, on any givin day, in everything in life! U gotta put in ur own tho man, ya dig?!? But I'll fux with anybody who wants to fux with me, ya know? Maybe 4 get about ur hit list for now, and work on ur creativity, and imagination, cuz those are easy then branch out, square ur edges and bust that hit list back out! PM me if u wanna bounce some ideas off each other, thats an offer to anyone else as well! Holla at me fa sho!

[N10tionalMalice]

Btw, Lmfao @ AndyHiro, be nice man! Hahahaha

[Witty]

You seem cool, this was ok, could be better, keep writing, generic attempt to encourage , don't like ur name cuz numbers in it, bye.