The Lighter Side of Darkness

PiE · 07-29-2013, 06:24 PM

Life is a road full of paths that are supplied as you go
As the cycles unfold, make sure you keep your eyes on your goals
When I had sold coke, I saw no other options where still had hope
Hypnotized by stereotypes quoting, “I AM GHETTO”

When you come to a fork in the road, do you take it?

So maybe I am, but I hold onto qualities that made me a man
Can't erase who I am, but I can go through some changes and plans
Awake in San Quentin jailhouse, I would think of my crimes
And put myself down so I couldn't accomplish anything in my mind
Easing my pride; saying corporations don't hire Gs in disguise
Then start blinking my eyes cuz in the pen, they see you cry, you might die
Invisible hope, I couldn't see them as they clinched to soul
The shit that I wrote was stress relief so a ni.g.g.a. could cope
Without some faggot mothafcuka tryna shove a dick in my throat
Being a bitch is a no and I'll catch a case for killin these hoes
So I just focused and pimped out my flows to keep me determined
Writing apology poems to victims who believed I'm a serpent
No Christian faith, but I pretended to be on that team of his worship
Because the Bible inspired me more with the things in those verses
A life goal for me had resurfaced and this time, I intended to use it
Not as a gangsta rapper because that's some bullshit to produce hits
Some friends sold drugs in the pen and I was tempted to do it
Instead, I gave knowledge to other inmates, which I extended to music
This is some true shit, I already wasted enough of my time
Admitting I'm stupid before I could read my troubling mind
Stuck with the rhymes and sent a few to a cousin of mine
And he had faith in me, that touched me inside, then I was published to shine
When I was done with my time, the only items I wanted of mine
Were my pictures of family, the Bible and notebooks that reconstructed my life

[IMG]http://image***he2.allposters.com/images/aqua/24-248.jpg[/IMG]

Spoken · 07-30-2013, 04:03 AM

The intricate wording was someone interesting but the content at times built to be nice fell short. The story and diction you had set in mind was great but then it comes to play with the rhyme and the whole set of it was up and down. Some minor grammatical errors but nothing daunting tbh.... The content though made a drastic depth with the emotion set in stone. A great read none the less thy I can appreciate!!!

Geno · 07-30-2013, 08:57 PM

Sick drop, upping for now. Will feed at some point

PiE · 08-01-2013, 04:56 PM

thanks both of you

07-29-2013, 06:24 PM	#1
PiE el es a la mode Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: slice of heaven Posts: 94 Battle Record: 1-4 Rep Power: 37	The Lighter Side of Darkness Life is a road full of paths that are supplied as you go As the cycles unfold, make sure you keep your eyes on your goals When I had sold coke, I saw no other options where still had hope Hypnotized by stereotypes quoting, “I AM GHETTO” When you come to a fork in the road, do you take it? So maybe I am, but I hold onto qualities that made me a man Can't erase who I am, but I can go through some changes and plans Awake in San Quentin jailhouse, I would think of my crimes And put myself down so I couldn't accomplish anything in my mind Easing my pride; saying corporations don't hire Gs in disguise Then start blinking my eyes cuz in the pen, they see you cry, you might die Invisible hope, I couldn't see them as they clinched to soul The shit that I wrote was stress relief so a ni.g.g.a. could cope Without some faggot mothafcuka tryna shove a dick in my throat Being a bitch is a no and I'll catch a case for killin these hoes So I just focused and pimped out my flows to keep me determined Writing apology poems to victims who believed I'm a serpent No Christian faith, but I pretended to be on that team of his worship Because the Bible inspired me more with the things in those verses A life goal for me had resurfaced and this time, I intended to use it Not as a gangsta rapper because that's some bullshit to produce hits Some friends sold drugs in the pen and I was tempted to do it Instead, I gave knowledge to other inmates, which I extended to music This is some true shit, I already wasted enough of my time Admitting I'm stupid before I could read my troubling mind Stuck with the rhymes and sent a few to a cousin of mine And he had faith in me, that touched me inside, then I was published to shine When I was done with my time, the only items I wanted of mine Were my pictures of family, the Bible and notebooks that reconstructed my life [IMG]http://image***he2.allposters.com/images/aqua/24-248.jpg[/IMG] __________________

07-30-2013, 04:03 AM	#2
Spoken ...DA GAWD... Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,355 Battle Record: 13-34 Rep Power: 5860413	The intricate wording was someone interesting but the content at times built to be nice fell short. The story and diction you had set in mind was great but then it comes to play with the rhyme and the whole set of it was up and down. Some minor grammatical errors but nothing daunting tbh.... The content though made a drastic depth with the emotion set in stone. A great read none the less thy I can appreciate!!! __________________ WP Po'ethics

07-30-2013, 08:57 PM	#3
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	Sick drop, upping for now. Will feed at some point __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

08-01-2013, 04:56 PM	#4
PiE el es a la mode Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: slice of heaven Posts: 94 Battle Record: 1-4 Rep Power: 37	thanks both of you __________________