Hurricane Meredith

[Vulgar]

A pg[/IMG]

[UnbornBuddha]

This was a nice read. Although sometimes it feels as if you connect terms with other terms that have no inherent contrast or relation. As if you invoke them just to evoke a certain kind of feeling. Which is fine, but sometimes is a bit distracting to the further unraveling of the story you are conveying. As if you get too wrapped up in the words, sometimes. Although they are very interesting words I might add with a lot of history behind them. One can probably write a whole piece on the meaning and background of the Pharisees. On the other hand words like Animagus, which seems to be a Harry potter term is used for a certain kind of ambiance. Which in this case is of enchantment, of sorcery. As if your trying to entrap us for a split moment in a spellbook of some kind. Hopefully it's one of light, but in this case considering the content of the story it seems more grimace. You still manage to leave a fine impression into the depths of the reader's psyche. The impression at times is a bit hazy, and must be clarified by the reader's own work. Which requires a certain willingness to it. Anyways I've digressed.
I also don't see how the picture captures the essence of what you were writing. Or if you drew some inspiration from it, which I assume so. Or if you looked for it after the writing was done. Either way, in my humble opinion I do not believe both go hand at hand. It doesn't vibrate the world in which Meredith abides in, or is constantly moving throughout. It's a little bit of a stretch. Although it's all relative, the picture suggests supernatural souls being exorcised by certain type of light. Or if not, just one in particular being released from a bondage of a certain realm of existence. While the others stand there watching, aligned in a certain formation I might add. Your imagination is quite the innovative one.
The lines that most resonated with the illustration were this one, imo.

"Psychic readers had misinformed her; the gift of the magi wasn’t perilous death!
When the pain subsided, she lit a black candle and stretched
But the light seemed perturbed, and engulfed her in a saffronic mesh
The fields of battle were red, littered with flesh and winter hail"


The rhyme schemes were excellent. You have a unique way of playing with syllables. A word bender who selects a combination of arcane words to play around with. The reading as a whole is a bit of a code. it reads smooth, but at the same time it has a certain mystique about it that keeps the reader wondering what it's all about. This is how you prefer to write in, an assumption derived from the pieces I've read from you. Keeping to the baffling splurge of imagery that unravels itself when the terminology begin connecting. Although this isn't always accomplished because the terms sometimes have a distance to them. But you manage to connect the dots and piece it together until it becomes a mesh of material that contains in it the crest of Vulgar.
Either way I've learned a lot. Keep scribing my friend.

[Vulgar]

Thanks

[Zen]

First off let me just say that the way you word things pisses me off sometimes, because it's so damn good. The opening couplet was a good example of that. It was one of those lines that I read on here and wish I had thought of it first.

"portals to the world in a paraffin glaze."
^^So fucking angry at that.

termed sadistic – eternal dervish who learned from witches
It was her destiny to metamorphose into the mother of all birds… the Griffin
^^Flow was effortless here.

what remained of Meredith the Griffin was rubble, feathers and guts
Yes, her ascent was a rush – she thought that she’d been cleverly dubbed
A celestial fowl whose vitality was suspended & such
but in otherworldly realms, even immortality is never enough
^^Nice ending.

I'm not sure how you come up with these topics, but if anyone attempted anything else like this it'd come out ridiculous. You make them great. Thanks for the read, Vulgar.

[Kin]

damn this is the definition of Imagery right here...like ya style

Hawkish, cautious, she wore eyeliner made of sperm from pigeons
termed sadistic – eternal dervish who learned from witches

that was the stand out bars for me...I like how you seem to make it a challenge to not use typical words to rhyme with...
really created a dope story out of this..

good work

[dead man]

n a place of such barren decay, she began to ramble & wretch
Psychic readers had misinformed her; the gift of the magi wasn’t perilous death!
when the pain subsided, she lit a black candle and stretched

the sheer force of your imagination is what has inspired me over the years. you have the ability to take even the mundane or overlooked and turn it into something vast and strange and unexplored. you open up miles of territory where there seems only rubble. as great observers and thinkers and writers everywhere, you make this territory your home.

this seemed to be a parallel verse of sorts - one side is the street walker, the woman down on her luck and stuck in her addictions. the heroin at the beginning seems to serve a double meaning as both our protagonist and the substance which holds her prisoner in the doldrums your picture displays. the other side is that of a being you paint as deific and historical. your usage of the griffin (and bird imagery) lends to the parallel, as these creatures of flight often appear in ancient religious texts throughout the history of human documentation. what might be seen as another fatal scuffle between a whore and her john can be discussed with the same creative insight and acuity that accompanies murals and collaged walls.

the pigeon semen thing was a bit strange to me. but i guess memorable for what it was..

"keep doing you"

thanks



1

[PancakeBrah]

"A barrel of hay is where the heroin laid.."

lol k pancakebrah

"She committed to a half-life – marriage with death, through Aramaic rites
an antlered sage of rancid plagues, a tramp by day – the Animagus type "

"The Flying Dutchwoman splintered through infernal clouds
lightning struck her back – yet she was so inimical and blurted out
“Lightning never strikes twice, especially a divine being”
A second bolt struck her in her throat, she cried “What am I seeing?!”
not knowing that the answer was an olden tribe of wunderkind daemons…"

"what remained of Meredith the Griffin was rubble, feathers and guts
Yes, her ascent was a rush – she thought that she’d been cleverly dubbed
A celestial fowl whose vitality was suspended & such
but in otherworldly realms, even immortality is never enough"

Favorite parts.

This was cool. That bitch was crazy fucking getting hit by lightning bolts. Fucking She-Icarus with a storm system nahmean. Fun to read, with your typical Vulgar-vocab and dope rhyme schemes. Very in-depth feed here.

[Paradigm]

She committed to a half-life – marriage with death, through Aramaic rites
an antlered sage of rancid plagues, a tramp by day – the Animagus type
Dope. LOL I love the word animagus

I like the word seraphim. The battle of immortality vs mortality was cool one here and I like the spin you took from this picture. nice read as always.