how come yyou experience more obstacles when you REALLY need to take a shit?!

Badweather · 06-16-2014, 08:55 AM

Every single time, without fail. I'm driving up to MD, and about 5 minutes into the drive I get gurgles. 15 minutes in, I gets to the point where it's now safe to panic. No worries, I'm 2 miles from my exit. Boom, there's mad traffic cause people can't merge when construction is going down. I'm flipping out, my dog starts whimpering and scratching at the back of my seat. 10 minutes of ridiculous focus and meditation, I find mc donald's. I storm in with my belt off, and there's a non English speaking mother fucked taking a shit in the only stall. I'm like "fuuuuuck." I bend down and start thinking of a plan b. After 3 minutes the toilet flushes twice and Spanish dude comes out all "sorrrrry sorrrry." I'm almost done.

Objective · 06-16-2014, 09:05 AM

If shit like that didn't happen to you it would bring shame to your name.

In all seriousness: When you're stressed I guess the stomach can start acting up or if you've been working/been busy and you start to ease up the body starts working on other stuff. Idk, I'm no doctor, but that's my guess. The road construction stuff can happen, it just seems so much worse because of the situation. The dog starts to whimper because it senses you panicking. The inconvenience at McDonalds was just bad luck, still, I bet it was the best shit you've taken in a while.

06-16-2014, 10:33 AM

Yeah always happens. Murpheys law.

You couldve taken a shit 40 minutes ago but if ur with a chick you damn well know your colon is being a scumbag purely for its own lols.

El Muffin · 06-16-2014, 10:36 AM

One time I took a shit in the woods and wiped my ass with newspaper stolen from my next door neighbors driveway

True story

I turned around n prodded my turds with a stick

I had no other alternative

Long story

Batty · 06-16-2014, 01:37 PM

shitting at McDonald's mere seconds after a foreigner bombed it out tho....

You must've done some dastardly deeds in your past lives to deserve this fate.

Badweather · 06-16-2014, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Batty

shitting at McDonald's mere seconds after a foreigner bombed it out tho....

You must've done some dastardly deeds in your past lives to deserve this fate.

I was thinking the same thing. Saturday morning I fell into a cantered manhole cover. Up to my knee in mystery water. Smh. I'm paying for something.

big baby · 06-16-2014, 03:35 PM

Well, it's not that it's more obstacles. You're just panicking so you notice these things more, it's called observational awareness, in which the user usually goes through a series of things but only is aware when the situation has a high sense of urgency or priority. These events usually happen but since your priority is second to none anything that happens will be considered a nuisance.

Witty · 06-16-2014, 03:38 PM

I rarely need to shit this bad...i dunno why, I can just keep it in until I have the time to go and it usually isnt difficult to do so.

I have regularly scheduled poop breaks, I go at the same time every day...u should try it.

Batty · 06-16-2014, 03:53 PM

When you look at Masaii's avatar in the context of this thread, it makes sense.

CopyPat · 06-16-2014, 09:25 PM

Lil Dicky, the illest ever, sums it up perfectly

Neighbor · 06-16-2014, 10:50 PM

The shit has taken over

El Muffin · 06-16-2014, 10:56 PM

Lol @ lil dicky

Parts of that was raw af tbh

Neighbor · 06-16-2014, 11:10 PM

Lil Dicky da gawd

uh-oh · 06-17-2014, 07:08 AM

keep mcdonalds bags in your car

shit in bag, take napkins out FIRST. use those for toilet paper

launch bag out on freeway

El Muffin · 06-17-2014, 09:34 AM

How do you shit inside a bag whilst in a car?

Dsnt seem like a smart thing to do

Strikta · 06-17-2014, 10:16 AM

In traffic it can be done.

El Muffin · 06-17-2014, 12:43 PM

Lol.

06-16-2014, 08:55 AM	#1
Badweather Chillin' like FUCK!!! Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,850 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 0	how come yyou experience more obstacles when you REALLY need to take a shit?! Every single time, without fail. I'm driving up to MD, and about 5 minutes into the drive I get gurgles. 15 minutes in, I gets to the point where it's now safe to panic. No worries, I'm 2 miles from my exit. Boom, there's mad traffic cause people can't merge when construction is going down. I'm flipping out, my dog starts whimpering and scratching at the back of my seat. 10 minutes of ridiculous focus and meditation, I find mc donald's. I storm in with my belt off, and there's a non English speaking mother fucked taking a shit in the only stall. I'm like "fuuuuuck." I bend down and start thinking of a plan b. After 3 minutes the toilet flushes twice and Spanish dude comes out all "sorrrrry sorrrry." I'm almost done. __________________ Chill Phil My rep hand is NOT WAY strong anymore.

06-16-2014, 09:05 AM	#2
Objective ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º) Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,868 Battle Record: 17-32 Rep Power: 52474192	If shit like that didn't happen to you it would bring shame to your name. In all seriousness: When you're stressed I guess the stomach can start acting up or if you've been working/been busy and you start to ease up the body starts working on other stuff. Idk, I'm no doctor, but that's my guess. The road construction stuff can happen, it just seems so much worse because of the situation. The dog starts to whimper because it senses you panicking. The inconvenience at McDonalds was just bad luck, still, I bet it was the best shit you've taken in a while. __________________ I'm not a slave for entertainment, I'm entertainments personal slave, So deep into writing I'm concerned bout the text on my grave. www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV8ozGcGJ6o

06-16-2014, 10:36 AM	#4
El Muffin DOHpe since 02' Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Surrounded by white ppl Posts: 14,690 Battle Record: 43-24 Champed - Netcees Battle League - 1-2 Punch Onslaught - 1-2 Punch League - Hot or Thot Roast - Hot or Thot 2018 - Fight Night 11 - NPL Roast Rep Power: 34230535	One time I took a shit in the woods and wiped my ass with newspaper stolen from my next door neighbors driveway True story I turned around n prodded my turds with a stick I had no other alternative Long story __________________ It’s like weed in Highschool- w/ the cans I’ll smoke you Bitch I floss . I Got the chain out to see like Constantinople

06-16-2014, 03:38 PM	#8
Witty Lime Life Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 16,978 Battle Record: 30-41 Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded Champed - Lyric Olympics - Summer Classic Rep Power: 85235118	I rarely need to shit this bad...i dunno why, I can just keep it in until I have the time to go and it usually isnt difficult to do so. I have regularly scheduled poop breaks, I go at the same time every day...u should try it. __________________ He listens to voices inside of his mind Explicit and poisonous violent crime.

06-16-2014, 10:50 PM	#11
Neighbor Genghis Khan Vuitton Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,303 Battle Record: 30-10 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - Pic Key Grand Prix - 1-2 Season 1 - Newbie Tournament II - Fight Night LXII - Fight Night XLII - Fight Night XXXIII - Fight Night XXVI - BA Swag & Flow - 1-2 Punch League (2x) - Netcees Battle League(2x) - BA Slugfest II - Fight Night of Champions - Fight Night LXXXIII - Summer Classic X Rep Power: 34764471	The shit has taken over __________________ Even signing my autograph’s like writing a slaughter pact

06-16-2014, 10:33 AM	#3
Masaii Guest Posts: n/a	Yeah always happens. Murpheys law. You couldve taken a shit 40 minutes ago but if ur with a chick you damn well know your colon is being a scumbag purely for its own lols.

06-16-2014, 01:37 PM	#5
Batty that nigga Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: trailer house Posts: 2,739 Rep Power: 85899385	shitting at McDonald's mere seconds after a foreigner bombed it out tho.... You must've done some dastardly deeds in your past lives to deserve this fate.

06-16-2014, 03:53 PM	#9
Batty that nigga Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: trailer house Posts: 2,739 Rep Power: 85899385	When you look at Masaii's avatar in the context of this thread, it makes sense.

06-16-2014, 10:56 PM	#12
El Muffin DOHpe since 02' Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Surrounded by white ppl Posts: 14,690 Battle Record: 43-24 Champed - Netcees Battle League - 1-2 Punch Onslaught - 1-2 Punch League - Hot or Thot Roast - Hot or Thot 2018 - Fight Night 11 - NPL Roast Rep Power: 34230535	Lol @ lil dicky Parts of that was raw af tbh __________________ It’s like weed in Highschool- w/ the cans I’ll smoke you Bitch I floss . I Got the chain out to see like Constantinople

06-16-2014, 11:10 PM	#13
Neighbor Genghis Khan Vuitton Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,303 Battle Record: 30-10 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - Pic Key Grand Prix - 1-2 Season 1 - Newbie Tournament II - Fight Night LXII - Fight Night XLII - Fight Night XXXIII - Fight Night XXVI - BA Swag & Flow - 1-2 Punch League (2x) - Netcees Battle League(2x) - BA Slugfest II - Fight Night of Champions - Fight Night LXXXIII - Summer Classic X Rep Power: 34764471	Lil Dicky da gawd __________________ Even signing my autograph’s like writing a slaughter pact

06-17-2014, 07:08 AM	#14
uh-oh DA GOD Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Canton Ohio Posts: 12,362 Battle Record: 1-0 Champed - Beat Battle II - Beat Battle V - Beat Bags Rep Power: 84181420	keep mcdonalds bags in your car shit in bag, take napkins out FIRST. use those for toilet paper launch bag out on freeway __________________ EVERYBODY I KNOW GOT WEED OR GOT POWDER BUT I AINT GOT EITHER. GOT ALOT OF DEMONS

06-17-2014, 09:34 AM	#15
El Muffin DOHpe since 02' Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Surrounded by white ppl Posts: 14,690 Battle Record: 43-24 Champed - Netcees Battle League - 1-2 Punch Onslaught - 1-2 Punch League - Hot or Thot Roast - Hot or Thot 2018 - Fight Night 11 - NPL Roast Rep Power: 34230535	How do you shit inside a bag whilst in a car? Dsnt seem like a smart thing to do __________________ It’s like weed in Highschool- w/ the cans I’ll smoke you Bitch I floss . I Got the chain out to see like Constantinople

06-17-2014, 10:16 AM	#16
Strikta 39 NS, lost in votes once Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 11,242 Battle Record: 32-40 Champed - Time to Kill X - Write Week III Rep Power: 84181452	In traffic it can be done.

06-17-2014, 12:43 PM	#17
El Muffin DOHpe since 02' Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Surrounded by white ppl Posts: 14,690 Battle Record: 43-24 Champed - Netcees Battle League - 1-2 Punch Onslaught - 1-2 Punch League - Hot or Thot Roast - Hot or Thot 2018 - Fight Night 11 - NPL Roast Rep Power: 34230535	Lol. __________________ It’s like weed in Highschool- w/ the cans I’ll smoke you Bitch I floss . I Got the chain out to see like Constantinople