The Illuminatus

[Nigma]

The Illuminatus


Rodent grown in a mouse hole, exposure lone to his household
When he goes and strays outdoors, he grows a changed outlook
Ours was in an olden age alcove, a stone worked canal road
3 of us discuss occult in a black hole, me, Vulgar and Al Poe
Gather in the cold and enshrouded now to let loose in a vision
Scribbled symbols in tune with tradition and drew with precision
I moved through the hymns, simply doing so triggers a movement
within us, producing a figure who consumed my existence...
In the depths of me this entity approved my permission
Vision enters in it's centerpiece, removing all wisdom

Whispers woo me with this one..
It said...

"In your eye or iris don't look inside and admire
Because pride is a virus, the giant igniter of fire
Lacking in humility conspires to inspire our desires
These desires may reap their toll and break control
See your neighbors gold, go take ahold to make your own
Embracing things not paid and sold will lace your skin
And stay within the brain, emitting rays of coal
Degrades existence in the way of sins that taint your soul
Mistakes may fold the days your only heart is pumping
If you take the marked substance it'll stay in large numbers
Under siege, succumb to greed for some to see the dark coming
Or..
Desire may adjust in it's planning, lead to gluttonous actions
If your gut is too fat,
Stomach expands, it's a struggle to stand
Eating something that some wish they had
Intake doubling that of a humbly fed man
You're the scum of the planet to the ones that inhabit the slums of your land
It has come to this stand,
Some are punished with death, other slumping, a mess
Bent with lumps and the stress, until nothing is left
... Except rage and revenge
Wrath displayed, and is lived after plate stacking phases
The victim of taken dishes with riches misplaced and still missing
Embracing a mission to break him submissive and take what you wish
It's the way of traditional craziness, which it is
Paved in the midst of the chaos to smear up the pages
Sins, clearly, can tame us, it's biblical cadence
Their merely the basis of spiritual laziness
Which, impurely, the greatest of fears to estrange with
Either purge this or face eternal person ablaze
And be cursed with a plague in the worst of the ways
This is not just a play, life's obscured in the shade
Light will drop on the stage like a curtain in flames"


I emerged from the lesson disturbed but perplexed
Since submerged in the depths I've had perfect perception
Every person I've met since has been lurking with death
It's their work and their debt to reverse the direction
Or be burnt within purgatory, thirst left un-quenched
It's "the curse of this the Earth" in the words of the essence

[Nigma]

@Vulgar @Chyeahhh!!!

[Geno]

Eyo, this was nuts nigma. Straight nuts. Pissed I ain't get a mention here cause this my theme like shit

[Nigma]

Appreciate it Geno! My B, tossed them a mention because I namedropped both of them without saying anything haha. This one was fun to write, first time writing with the pen and pad as opposed to typing up verses in awhile.

[Chyeahhh!!!]

yo this was dope. I like the narration of it in the beginning and the carefully selected cinema in the layout of it. You really have a way with of making it readful and flow savvy without the normal usage of multis, even though it's setup that way. Kind of a breath of fresh air in that aspect. I loved how you continued the flow in bringing in the main part. shit was nice.

[Vulgar]

Forgive me for this feedback but I am rusty. I don't exactly know what this is about because it all seems to be woven in a way that's so universal that there's nothing that particularly stands out from the chessboard. The writing is good, the devices and the rhyming are good. What differentiates it from other work of this caliber is what escapes me at the moment. For example, the title is Illuminatus so you are relaying a message of a conspiratorial nature, a biopic, or an intricate summary of what you think it's all about. This could even be a declaration from those who are a part of it themselves. I don't know, I'm not overly fond of this for these reasons. This has a "one mood/theme fits all" approach rather than a distinct flavor, or a series of flavors. It struck me like a museum exhibit stripped of its genuinely intriguing individual traits, and fitted to a more plastic frame. Telling a story with language without telling a story: drainage, with merited flow. Just my thoughts on this one, Nigma. One thing is for sure - you are a good writer with a lot to offer on these forums.

Keep doing you