Death vs. Rap Maestro - {Death wins}}

[~RustyGunZ~]

NBL
Netcees Text Battle League

Rules

Due Dates:

• Verses are due Wednesday,
  May 29th 2013 11:59 PM PST.
• Voting ends Tuesday 11:59 PM PST.
• Battles that lack votes may close later.
• One sided battles may get closed early.
• Extensions are normally 24 hours
  (unless requested otherwise, that is),
  can be no longer than 36 hours
  and have to be granted by your opponent.

Line Limit:

• Min. = 10 lines
• Max. = 16 lines
• The max. can be higher if different is agreed upon by both.

Voting:

• Must vote on 5 battles and post your links.
• Post the links in the thread titled "Week 7 Voting Links".
• You will be punished if you don't post all 5 voting links.
  You will not like the punishment, so just vote so you
  don't have to cry later. Details about this are to be
  found in the "Week 7 Voting Links" thread.

General Rules:

• 1st person to post can't edit after the 2nd person posts.
• 2nd person to post can't edit after a vote has been made.
• Feeding = DQ.
• Recycling = DQ.
• Biting = DQ.
• No freeposting, swaying or bitching.
• Unless a picture battle is agreed upon,
  linking to your opponent's picture or posting it
  means you will disqualified.
• A check in isn't mandatory, but it is encouraged.
• If your opponent doesn't check in,
  you still have to post a verse.
• Competitors should agree on a line limit in their check in.
• If no line limit is agreed on, then the 2nd person to post
  must match the 1st person's line amount.

@Death @Rap Maestro

[DLB]

in, going 12

[Rap Maestro]

Checks in.. Go easy on me bro.. I'm new here

[DLB]

broke fagg0t.......

you got potential but withdraw cause u got no talent
he can't deposit a consistent verse when his accounts are out of balance
aint slick w/ hoes, they see u as a behind doors cock thruster
ladies say my GameFly while yours'll shutdown whats in store like Blockbuster
this pathetic virgin needs to phone 911, his future's hopeless
the only hot twins he's been close to collapsed when he approached them
fuck rap, maestro couldn't get out this slump, it's the truth
if he really this old.. then this nika been trash since that guy was n his youth
im done went u, u trash so I went 10 instead of 12
cause u write like u was inspired by TI lyrics from when he was in jail

[Rap Maestro]

... Its obvious death is about to die in shame/
cos wit Meduzza's power of mine.. I could make his life standstill without trying to tie him in pain/
the niggurh should take a binocular,.. And watch his mouth/
cos the pig.. Digging up for vet's line would end up incapacitated when i punch his snout/
do i have to pull nines to make him take to his heel/
make him spit icing and sugary lines.. When i punch cake in his chin/
Death should know/
that he ain't ahead of God.. the tricks would show/
he could be a motherless fagg, so i'll endeavour to murder him/
cos like he ain't a day-student in the vet's school, i'll bother him/boarder~digg
i'll be fast to drop bars on him like i'd get paid by chocolate factory/
make him bleed honourarily like slashing consulate artery/

[Greed]

Who you calling nigger white boy.

V death

Cake would put hands on you anyways. Ol suspect biter of garbage that dont rhyme lookin boy.

[Rap Maestro]

Should i exit the site? cos i find this your wicked comment hateful.. Search for Rap Genesis on facebook. Its a netcee group.. You'll see how its done there. Mtcheew

[Sharp]

you got potential but withdraw cause u got no talent
he can't deposit a consistent verse when his accounts are out of balance
aint slick w/ hoes, they see u as a behind doors cock thruster
ladies say my GameFly while yours'll shutdown whats in store like Blockbuster

911 was okay. nika's played as fuck. TI idea would have to be really funny to hit and wasn't to me.


Maestro you seemed to understand what wordplay is, but didn't really use it to make a punch. You should hit the tutoring section. But this verse wasn't great, was very indirect and statementish. Don't freepost btw.


V/ Death

[GKillaZ]

Death:
Best Line - fuck rap, maestro couldn't get out this slump, it's the truth
if he really this old.. then this nika been trash since that guy was n his youth

Worst Line - aint slick w/ hoes, they see u as a behind doors cock thruster
ladies say my GameFly while yours'll shutdown whats in store like Blockbuster

vs.

RM:
Best Line - 'll be fast to drop bars on him like i'd get paid by chocolate factory/
make him bleed honourarily like slashing consulate artery/

Worst Line - ... Its obvious death is about to die in shame/
cos wit Meduzza's power of mine.. I could make his life standstill without trying to tie him in pain/

overall: I am giving my vote too..Rap Maestro. I think overall I liked his flow better. and his punches were just nasty. I think his best line with what I thought was his 2nd best line, were just an overall better battle verse, hit harder. so my vote goes to him.

good battle . Vote. RM

[Rap Maestro]

Yeah.. Thanks Gkillaz and sharp Nine.. If i'm doing it bad, you should encourage and give advice not discourage or condemn..

[Flow]

Rap hear me out on some advice - Freeposting is a no go round here - I understand why you did it and trust me its taken me a lot not to in one my most recent battles.....which I wont go into. JUST DONT DO IT.

Also - Sharp wasn't discouraging you and you will find he was actually being very constructive and helpful in his response, we have an extensive tutor section so why not use it?

Anyways -

Your breakdown...

RAP
... Its obvious death is about to die in shame/
cos wit Meduzza's power of mine.. I could make his life standstill without trying to tie him in pain/
No - No punch here
the niggurh should take a binocular,.. And watch his mouth/
cos the pig.. Digging up for vet's line would end up incapacitated when i punch his snout/
No punch
do i have to pull nines to make him take to his heel/
make him spit icing and sugary lines.. When i punch cake in his chin/
This didn't even rhyme and no punch except two lines on trot you said youll punch him... super fly shit that...
Death should know/
that he ain't ahead of God.. the tricks would show/
NO
he could be a motherless fagg, so i'll endeavour to murder him/
cos like he ain't a day-student in the vet's school, i'll bother him/boarder~digg
Probably the best attempt but poor exectution
i'll be fast to drop bars on him like i'd get paid by chocolate factory/
make him bleed honourarily like slashing consulate artery/
urgh....

DEATH
you got potential but withdraw cause u got no talent
he can't deposit a consistent verse when his accounts are out of balance
Pretty nice Don't think I seen the one before
aint slick w/ hoes, they see u as a behind doors cock thruster
ladies say my GameFly while yours'll shutdown whats in store like Blockbuster
I thought this was good but worded terribly
this pathetic virgin needs to phone 911, his future's hopeless
the only hot twins he's been close to collapsed when he approached them
meh not great
fuck rap, maestro couldn't get out this slump, it's the truth
if he really this old.. then this nika been trash since that guy was n his youth
lol so played but least you formulate a setup an punch right
im done went u, u trash so I went 10 instead of 12
cause u write like u was inspired by TI lyrics from when he was in jail
that didn't even rhyme an concept was whack

Vote death for having a much better understanding an better misses/attempts

[Maximus]

you got potential but withdraw cause u got no talent
he can't deposit a consistent verse when his accounts are out of balance
NOT BAD BUT FELT THE SET UP COULDA BEEN BETTER
aint slick w/ hoes, they see u as a behind doors cock thruster
ladies say my GameFly while yours'll shutdown whats in store like Blockbuster
GOOD CONCEPT BUT POOR WORDING MADE THIS GO NOWHERE
this pathetic virgin needs to phone 911, his future's hopeless
the only hot twins he's been close to collapsed when he approached them
9/11 TOWER CONCEPTS ARE PLAYED, NICE TRY THO
fuck rap, maestro couldn't get out this slump, it's the truth
if he really this old.. then this nika been trashsince that guy was n his youth
PLAYED CONCEPT
im done went u, u trash so I went 10 instead of 12
cause u write like u was inspired by TI lyrics from when he was in jail
NOT FEELING
VS
... Its obvious death is about to die in shame/
cos wit Meduzza's power of mine.. I could make his life standstill without trying to tie him in pain/
NOT FEELING, JUST AN EMPTY THREAT WITH NO PUNCH TO UR OPPONENT AND IT WAS TOO STRETCHED
the niggurh should take a binocular,.. And watch his mouth/
cos the pig.. Digging up for vet's line would end up incapacitated when i punch his snout/
SEEMS LIKE YOUR ARE JUST MULTI RHYMING COS I SEE NO CREATIVITY HERE, ITS JUST A STATEMENT
do i have to pull nines to make him take to his heel/
make him spit icing and sugary lines.. When ipunch cake in his chin/
HEEL DOESNT RHYME WITH CHIN
Death should know/
that he ain't ahead of God.. the tricks would show/
STATEMENT, YOU'VE GOT TO BE WITTY!
he could be a motherless fagg, so i'll endeavour to murder him/
cos like he ain't a day-student in the vet's school, i'll bother him/boarder~digg
NAH, THIS WORDPLAY DIDNT REALLY WORK, BOTHER IS A VERB AND BOARDER IS A NOUN, SO U CANT BOARDER SOMEONE, SO THIS PUN FAILS BUT ITS YOUR BEST ATTEMPT YET
i'll be fast to drop bars on him like i'd get paid by chocolate factory/
make him bleed honourarily like slashing consulate artery/
WACK, A CONSULATE IS A BUILDING FOR DIPLOMATS, I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW SOMEONE CAN SLASH A BUILDING'S ARTERY AND MAKE IT BLEED...WTF!!
.
.
.
Well, no chasers straight up this was a wack match. Death did show some dim flashes of brilliant and he seems to understand the concept of dissing,wordplays,punches etc, however he needs a lot of work and he might just be fine if he keeps practicing. On the underhand maestro lacks pretty much in every aspect. Firstly do not FREEPOST when people say ur piece is wack, the only way to get better is staying humble and learning from each feed on what to improve on..that said, cut out those slashes and hints cos there useless, then stop forcing multies. This aint just about rhyming words for the sake of it, u have to be creative, learn to think outside the box and use personals, nameplays, misdirections..etc. Mvgt death for having the better attempts

[Hush]

I think death won

[Ronic]

Originally Posted by Death

you got potential but withdraw cause u got no talent
he can't deposit a consistent verse when his accounts are out of balance
Okay bar, but I don't like the switch from "you" to "he" - choose your audience and stick to em for the whole bar
aint slick w/ hoes, they see u as a behind doors cock thruster
ladies say my GameFly while yours'll shutdown whats in store like Blockbuster
fell flat, coulda been aight
this pathetic virgin needs to phone 911, his future's hopeless
the only hot twins he's been close to collapsed when he approached them
not bad but reference is gettin old bruv
fuck rap, maestro couldn't get out this slump, it's the truth
if he really this old.. then this nika been trash since that guy was n his youth
yeah this been done too, good punch structure tho
im done went u, u trash so I went 10 instead of 12
cause u write like u was inspired by TI lyrics from when he was in jail

barely rhymed, work on that

Originally Posted by Rap Maestro

... Its obvious death is about to die in shame/
cos wit Meduzza's power of mine.. I could make his life standstill without trying to tie him in pain/
Second line was too long for the first - try and tighten up your wording
the niggurh should take a binocular,.. And watch his mouth/
cos the pig.. Digging up for vet's line would end up incapacitated when i punch his snout/
I don't know what binoculars, pigs, digging or vets have to do with anything in this bar, it comes off as just random words in between an "i'll punch your mouth" statement
do i have to pull nines to make him take to his heel/
make him spit icing and sugary lines.. When i punch cake in his chin/
Make sure your first line acts as the set up for the punch in the second line - first line here has nothing to do with the cake concept in the second line
Death should know/
that he ain't ahead of God.. the tricks would show/
no wordplay or concept here, this is basically just rhyming for its own sake
he could be a motherless fagg, so i'll endeavour to murder him/
cos like he ain't a day-student in the vet's school, i'll bother him/boarder~digg
"I'll bother him" is possibly the lamest thing I've ever heard... ijs
i'll be fast to drop bars on him like i'd get paid by chocolate factory/
make him bleed honourarily like slashing consulate artery/
Again, first line doesn't set up the second - either the first line needed to be about honour/consulate or the second needed to be about chocolate factory... either way probly woulda been a wack concept

No hate maestro, but peep some of the other battles around and see how they're doin it. Hit up that tutor section as well, I have, it'll help you with wording and how to structure your lines so that hit as an actual punch - then you just gotta come up with some dope concepts and you'll be on your way! Death can def improve too, but he took this with greater understanding of punch structure and concepts

v/Death

[Rap Maestro]

Thanks y'all

[Atomic]

V/ Death. Not going bar for bar because I'm motherfucking Atomic bOi.

[DLB]

ummm no, ur vote is invalidated because im mothafucking DLB bOi.

[Black Mask]

v/ death

Saying nigger doesnt make you cool. & YOU FUCKING SUCK.

[Rap Maestro]

Heard.. Thanks