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#1 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
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they said to touch base on some more emotional shit
so i decided to comply & entitled this "devotion to script" the potentest written ive ever wrote in this bitch.. so if you read it, just feed it an accept it for the openness in it.. i've always seen my hope slowly diminish, so corrosive; acidic. it doesnt help when yourself is standing as your own, lone worst critic. my ex wife wont admit it, but she hurt me for some broken decisions that I made, so she played me & let a different dick slip in her clitoris. my kid was three ft away, autistic; sittin in her crib in the living room walked in early from work w/flowers (instantly livid from this sick individual.) funny how pain can be gained from something so simple and miniscule; caught in a rage i displayed what i chalk up as man being instincual. with clenched fists, gritting my teeth & seething, he was beat to a pulp, do I regret this? - i would have but redemption voided my feelings of guilt. pushing me to the hilt, trying not to cry as my vision was blinded, kept hittin him till the police came and hauled me away for the violence. court date came, sat ever so silent awaiting to pay for my crime spent till the judge placed my sentence.. (in jail is were i began to start writing) spent 11 months crying, fighting denial, complying to gaurds ...so much for this war hero, a purple heart and a few golden stars. they say devilish men are from mars and devient women from venus completely different worlds but both have a heart which is their similar weakness and i'm not here for preaching ill leave that to hypocrits in the synagogs not very religious, too much corruption in the world for me to believe in god this is a collection of thoughts brought on by me connecting the dots if they say we're ALL sinners then definitely my perception of heaven is off. this has now became my injection of raw, unfiltered and sincerest emotions now that i let it out on the page i dont care if you even feed it or quote it.
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![]() Last edited by Just Write; 04-18-2013 at 06:53 PM. |
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#2 |
WOW
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,591
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dope. a lot of emotion put into this piece. true story huh? seemed like it.
flow wise it was ok, but you had a strong use of words and i'm not here for preaching ill leave that to hypocrits in the synagogs not very religious, too much corruption in the world for me to believe in god this is a collection of thoughts brought on by me connecting the dots if they say we're ALL sinners then definitely my perception of heaven is off. this has now became my injection of raw, unfiltered and sincerest emotions now that i let it out on the page i dont care if you even feed it or quote it. best part. good stuff . pz |
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#3 |
Arm the Homeless
Join Date: Jan 2013
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Rottweilers are the Shook One's that Mobb Deep was referring to.
Now to the feed lol. Very good piece here JW. Seriously. Great sorta autobiographical story of yourself that paints the picture of who you are, well maybe not who you are but what the actions of your life made you become. Beautifully written. i've always seen my hope slowly diminish, so corrosive; acidic. ^^Loved this line. You're coming into your style very well and I think most people would agree with me. Your voice is there and the emotion comes from that when you're honest with yourself and true to your style. Beautiful piece imo. Keep droppin em man. |
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#4 |
loose leaf bruce lee
Join Date: Mar 2013
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Unreal dude. Flow was stretched on this, cause i try spitting this over a beat and its difficult. However that being said, the untapped emotion on this is crazy. I fucking love this. Heartfelt to the core of it. I wanna see more of it. Without a shadow of a doubt you are one of my favorites on this site.
Soldiers only. Hooah!
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#5 |
Senior Member
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up.. all feed returned
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