Adam Appleseed (NO-SHOW LOVE)

Adonis · 03-01-2014, 04:33 AM

The Goddess of Purity, Whimsically draped,
A feminine Lioness wrapped for mysteries sake,
An enigma that will rise during her memory's wake,
Bat an eye – Ocean Green, magically shaped
Catching hearts as they dream, lying wide awake.

...Such a site to behold...

...

Golden locks flow - Wind sniffles the scent,
This cold Earth warmed by the pitching of tents,
Not a fisher of men, cause, one man possesses her lovely intent,
Her figure alone allures gawking events,
The first of her kind, gorgeous and strong,
Only pain in the rib is justly writing a song,
Her Garden of Eden is lightning that's calm,
Exciting palms climb her limbs sprightly with charm,
Imagine being alone precisely half eternity,
Then overnight the apple of your eye sprouts from obscurity...

….Ironically....

The foundation of love is the Eve of destruction

...

Obey the hand that feeds and never shit where you sleep,
In other words, if your spouse asks.... Then she receives,
Even if creator pleads, “Keep away from the seed”,
But there's tricksters about, slithering tongues, whisper aloud,
Convincing deceit... Filling minds with doubt.

The Son's loved – The father adored,
But a lovers bond... Is what's always endured

Adam Appleseed

Yumm...

Topic:"Sons and Lovers"

Adonis · 03-01-2014, 04:34 AM

Will return feed before Monday @Cereal_Killa post your no-show so I can feed that shit too

Cereal_Killa · 03-02-2014, 02:06 AM

dOne, bout to bubble..

Cereal_Killa · 03-02-2014, 05:38 AM

I have missed your writing..

“The Goddess of Purity, Whimsically draped,”
A feminine Lioness wrapped for mysteries sake,
An enigma that will rise during her memory's wake,
Ocean Green, magically shaped
Catching hearts as they dream, lying wide awake.

If there ever was a spot where no matter what words your write about a poem.. it’s already been said in the poem.. ^^^
TIMELESSS

Obey the hand that feeds and never shit where you sleep,

A child born dead/ Yet still well alive..

That line man, got daymmmnn

Always impressed, you are a truly talented writer and deserve massive appreciation..

Thanks for the read..

Lars · 03-02-2014, 04:02 PM

I've covered the topic or at least similar before, thought this line was brilliant though and deserved quoting:

Quote:

This cold Earth warmed by the pitching of tents,

The 'Eve' of destruction idea was nice too, not seen that used before, it made for a nice touch and took the piece somewhere different.

Props.

Keep that pen moving!

Bender · 03-02-2014, 04:23 PM

This was interesting, I liked the topic of the piece for sure. At first it was kind of hard to understand what you were saying but then about half way through it was clear to me. I feel like there was alot of big words and although the flow was good it made it difficult for me to read it and really get into it but then again I am not a big topical writer and prefer ease of reading over complexity. It was interesting and towards the end I was kind of thinking that you were talking more about a sexual rendition of the forbidden fruit, am I mistaken by this ? It would have put a really cool twist on it to see that concept really played up.

Vulgar · 03-15-2014, 11:59 AM

Is this about biblical cunnilingus? I think it may be so. Adam didn't literally eat the apple, he ate out the apple of his eye. lol. I liked this. Let me know how off I am.

@Adonis

Also, props for defeating me this week.

03-01-2014, 04:33 AM	#1
Adonis Tsk Tsk Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Beer Goggles Posts: 4,834 Battle Record: 36-34 Champed - Lime Green Poetry Association - NFL Pick'em 2016-17 Rep Power: 9946449	Adam Appleseed (NO-SHOW LOVE) The Goddess of Purity, Whimsically draped, A feminine Lioness wrapped for mysteries sake, An enigma that will rise during her memory's wake, Bat an eye – Ocean Green, magically shaped Catching hearts as they dream, lying wide awake. ...Such a site to behold... ... Golden locks flow - Wind sniffles the scent, This cold Earth warmed by the pitching of tents, Not a fisher of men, cause, one man possesses her lovely intent, Her figure alone allures gawking events, The first of her kind, gorgeous and strong, Only pain in the rib is justly writing a song, Her Garden of Eden is lightning that's calm, Exciting palms climb her limbs sprightly with charm, Imagine being alone precisely half eternity, Then overnight the apple of your eye sprouts from obscurity... ….Ironically.... The foundation of love is the Eve of destruction ... Obey the hand that feeds and never shit where you sleep, In other words, if your spouse asks.... Then she receives, Even if creator pleads, “Keep away from the seed”, But there's tricksters about, slithering tongues, whisper aloud, Convincing deceit... Filling minds with doubt. The Son's loved – The father adored, But a lovers bond... Is what's always endured Adam Appleseed Yumm... Topic:"Sons and Lovers" __________________ I'm tryna fuck like A-don-is TUPAC SHAKUR Last edited by Adonis; 03-01-2014 at 04:35 AM. Reason: asdgfagadfg

03-01-2014, 04:34 AM	#2
Adonis Tsk Tsk Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Beer Goggles Posts: 4,834 Battle Record: 36-34 Champed - Lime Green Poetry Association - NFL Pick'em 2016-17 Rep Power: 9946449	Will return feed before Monday @Cereal_Killa post your no-show so I can feed that shit too __________________ I'm tryna fuck like A-don-is TUPAC SHAKUR

03-02-2014, 02:06 AM	#3
Cereal_Killa Licking Lily's.. Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 706 Battle Record: 11-6 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 3565733	dOne, bout to bubble.. __________________ You think YOU'RE sick I shit cough drops ..

03-02-2014, 05:38 AM	#4
Cereal_Killa Licking Lily's.. Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 706 Battle Record: 11-6 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 3565733	I have missed your writing.. “The Goddess of Purity, Whimsically draped,” A feminine Lioness wrapped for mysteries sake, An enigma that will rise during her memory's wake, Ocean Green, magically shaped Catching hearts as they dream, lying wide awake. If there ever was a spot where no matter what words your write about a poem.. it’s already been said in the poem.. ^^^ TIMELESSS Obey the hand that feeds and never shit where you sleep, A child born dead/ Yet still well alive.. That line man, got daymmmnn Always impressed, you are a truly talented writer and deserve massive appreciation.. Thanks for the read.. __________________ You think YOU'RE sick I shit cough drops ..

03-02-2014, 04:23 PM	#6
Bender Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 264 Battle Record: 11-5 Rep Power: 146919	This was interesting, I liked the topic of the piece for sure. At first it was kind of hard to understand what you were saying but then about half way through it was clear to me. I feel like there was alot of big words and although the flow was good it made it difficult for me to read it and really get into it but then again I am not a big topical writer and prefer ease of reading over complexity. It was interesting and towards the end I was kind of thinking that you were talking more about a sexual rendition of the forbidden fruit, am I mistaken by this ? It would have put a really cool twist on it to see that concept really played up.

03-15-2014, 11:59 AM	#7
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604320	Is this about biblical cunnilingus? I think it may be so. Adam didn't literally eat the apple, he ate out the apple of his eye. lol. I liked this. Let me know how off I am. @Adonis Also, props for defeating me this week.