No Luck

Mr. J · 07-20-2013, 08:04 PM

Take a step into the concrete jungle, offbeat hustle
where lyricism is deep, but that shit got me troubled
got me lost, between jealousy like it's honesty's body double
if I speak my mind, switch up the flow for these ho's
they would prolly be all over it anonymously....glory-holes
suppose we grow in the time we escape
and get the support over the rhymes we made
who knows though, cuz a guy like me is skeptical
shocking as Tesla, flew through pages and kept it cool
puffing medical while I express my concern
got my ideas on new print, I enjoyed pressing terms
stretching topics out and putting it down sometime yesteryear
like I need to put thought in. I just wait and let it fester here
I strike the match that would burn you guido fucks
reminiscing every November...putting free throws up
letting my display speak for itself, just to keep you people up
I need no luck...

Geno · 08-02-2013, 07:51 PM

Was feeling it.
This was dope..
they would prolly be all over it anonymously....glory-holes

Seems your becoming of yourself. Nice way to change up the style a little. I like what your doing

Sho Money EMG · 08-03-2013, 12:06 AM

This was aight a bit all over the place during the middle was a cool start flow seemed a bit choppy .... But overall decent drop keep writing

Mr. J · 08-26-2013, 12:56 PM

Oooo the 5th of November line ;)

Brain Thief · 08-26-2013, 01:10 PM

Decent lines, there were a few that stood out

Take a step into the concrete jungle, offbeat hustle
where lyricism is deep, but that shit got me troubled
got me lost, between jealousy like it's honesty's body double

Puffing medical while I express my concern
got my ideas on new print, I enjoyed pressing terms

The flow was a bit disjointed at points but that didn't detract from the writing too much. This could be improved in a few places but overall it's a sick drop, nice opening lines

Dope girl · 08-27-2013, 08:13 AM

you some dope bars, the flow was cool.

Kold Breeze · 08-27-2013, 03:01 PM

The glory holes lined killed, dope overall. I like it, the fact that you dont need any one to build you up, you kno u dope and thats all there is to it....

YDK · 08-27-2013, 08:24 PM

word the gloryhole line was killer lmao
flow was good multies were decent nothing really negative ta say tbh just a solid drop. not overly flashy but it had enough concept flips to keep it straight.
good shit man keep droppin

Exis · 08-28-2013, 10:35 PM

Take a step into the concrete jungle, offbeat hustle
where lyricism is deep, but that shit got me troubled
got me lost, between jealousy like it's honesty's body double

^^That's raw...if your whole verse was like that this would be straight fire, it just so happens that I thought what came after the section I quoted was not that great...average at best when compared to the way you opened, still an enjoyable read nonetheless.

Stay upwards.

CopyPat · 08-29-2013, 01:22 AM

Nice bro!!! i enjoyed this one. seemed pretty realistic and from the heart. i also liked ur vocab, it wasn't stupid long words or anything but just shit u don't see often.. offbeat hustle dunno why liked that, puffing medical, yesteryear, fester. ha just liked it. scheming was nice too. really good drop man

Split · 04-23-2014, 03:28 AM

up

07-20-2013, 08:04 PM	#1
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	No Luck Take a step into the concrete jungle, offbeat hustle where lyricism is deep, but that shit got me troubled got me lost, between jealousy like it's honesty's body double if I speak my mind, switch up the flow for these ho's they would prolly be all over it anonymously....glory-holes suppose we grow in the time we escape and get the support over the rhymes we made who knows though, cuz a guy like me is skeptical shocking as Tesla, flew through pages and kept it cool puffing medical while I express my concern got my ideas on new print, I enjoyed pressing terms stretching topics out and putting it down sometime yesteryear like I need to put thought in. I just wait and let it fester here I strike the match that would burn you guido fucks reminiscing every November...putting free throws up letting my display speak for itself, just to keep you people up I need no luck... __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

08-02-2013, 07:51 PM	#2
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	Was feeling it. This was dope.. they would prolly be all over it anonymously....glory-holes Seems your becoming of yourself. Nice way to change up the style a little. I like what your doing __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

08-03-2013, 12:06 AM	#3
Sho Money EMG Senior Member Join Date: May 2013 Location: Zooyork Posts: 2,124 Battle Record: 7-12 Rep Power: 0	This was aight a bit all over the place during the middle was a cool start flow seemed a bit choppy .... But overall decent drop keep writing __________________ Sho Money \| Camp Bell Team Alpha EMG This site is whack

08-26-2013, 12:56 PM	#4
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	Oooo the 5th of November line ;) __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

08-27-2013, 08:24 PM	#8
YDK ghost in the matrix Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: Covington, KY Posts: 4,563 Battle Record: 14-25 Champed - Art of Writing League (x2) - Lime Green Poetry Association Rep Power: 8181113	word the gloryhole line was killer lmao flow was good multies were decent nothing really negative ta say tbh just a solid drop. not overly flashy but it had enough concept flips to keep it straight. good shit man keep droppin __________________

08-26-2013, 01:10 PM	#5
Brain Thief Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 23 Rep Power: 36	Decent lines, there were a few that stood out Take a step into the concrete jungle, offbeat hustle where lyricism is deep, but that shit got me troubled got me lost, between jealousy like it's honesty's body double Puffing medical while I express my concern got my ideas on new print, I enjoyed pressing terms The flow was a bit disjointed at points but that didn't detract from the writing too much. This could be improved in a few places but overall it's a sick drop, nice opening lines

08-27-2013, 08:13 AM	#6
Dope girl Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: I live in Florida Posts: 4,789 Battle Record: 3-8 Rep Power: 55521419	you some dope bars, the flow was cool.

08-27-2013, 03:01 PM	#7
Kold Breeze Nokyo Genosyde Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: South Side Posts: 14 Rep Power: 37	The glory holes lined killed, dope overall. I like it, the fact that you dont need any one to build you up, you kno u dope and thats all there is to it....

08-28-2013, 10:35 PM	#9
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,934 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	Take a step into the concrete jungle, offbeat hustle where lyricism is deep, but that shit got me troubled got me lost, between jealousy like it's honesty's body double ^^That's raw...if your whole verse was like that this would be straight fire, it just so happens that I thought what came after the section I quoted was not that great...average at best when compared to the way you opened, still an enjoyable read nonetheless. Stay upwards.

08-29-2013, 01:22 AM	#10
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 708 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742225	Nice bro!!! i enjoyed this one. seemed pretty realistic and from the heart. i also liked ur vocab, it wasn't stupid long words or anything but just shit u don't see often.. offbeat hustle dunno why liked that, puffing medical, yesteryear, fester. ha just liked it. scheming was nice too. really good drop man __________________ My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete.

04-23-2014, 03:28 AM	#11
Split . Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 8,898 Battle Record: 27-22 Rep Power: 85899399	up __________________ http://split8.yolasite.com