AOWL Week 4: IAmBenT (0-0) VS. Ink (0-0) [IAMBENT WINS, 5-2.]

[King Ra.]

16 lines minimum, 48 lines maximum.

Verses are due THURSDAY 3/7 at 11:59 PST.

Extensions are due FRIDAY 3/8 at 11:59 PST. NO LATER!!!

You MUST check in.

You must vote on at least 3 other battles and post links. For every absent link, you will be deducted ONE vote next week.

If you no-show, you will be removed from next week and have to sign back into the league.


TOPIC:


Good luck to both participants. @IamBenT @Ink

[Ink]

Checkin in.. GL bent, been waiting for this rematch

[IamBenT]

OH Snapp!! Checc in!

[Ink]

@IamBenT forgot the duedate here is thursday not friday.. gonna have to request an extension, work is hectic

[IamBenT]

that's cool. Im half done with mine, gonna finish the rest and drop most likely tonight.


Los Votes

1. http://artofbattling.com/forum/showt...OPEN-FOR-VOTES

2. http://artofbattling.com/forum/showt...OPEN-FOR-VOTES

[IamBenT]

Dazed, in a malaise,... I strayed into the graves,
-gray-faced slate shapes ... brittle with age-,
Die a little each day,... as the cold moon glows
My eyelids close, heavy as ... old tombstones
The black rose, ... thorn in the flesh, deformed, in a mess,
My sin-darkened heart begs a morbid arrest..
before the storm in the chest,
billows up the mortal caress,
No more, no less, just grief and loss
They Eat the soul's gold and eke the dross
Tears never cease or pause, in creeps a fog
That I can't seem to see across...

We can call him lost, or perhaps he's changed
Lost both the same day, started acting strange
Death pesters us in her haphazard ways
We never get a chance to practice pain

This young man wanders amidst the tombs
He lives in what we only glimpse as gloom
A broken mess, but that ends today
In hopeless grief, he's not meant to stay...

I had them sent away, the first time they tried,
I coughed and cried, they fought and pried,
My thoughts defied their call to reason,
It Felt odd that evening.... in that lost and altered season
“He’s gone mad”, the shades hissed with frayed lips
They swung this time with strength like an arranged fist
A strange kiss as my face hits the dew
-Tears fed from the dead in the mist that grew-
Pain in my wrists it flew.. his eyelid was blue
From the blood birthing the bruise my kicks induced...

“Strap him down, dammit! Don’t let him move again!”
Fucking black eye, thanks to my useless friends
“Take him to the truck!”, spittin, kickin and screaming,
Sputtering “Fucks”, mingled with pleas to his demons,
A sane man, now lost in a maze of mourning
With regret the entrance and his pain adorning…

The Metal door thuds, I’m caged in that moment
She drove off, I sulked, rage to foment..
A dumb argument concerning her Facebook...
Misplaced looks, words with barbed bait hooks…
Struggles only sink them deeper into the heart…
My baby’s face, burned away by the intimate spark…
Not the one in the gas that gasped out in the crash…
But the first curse words we lashed out in the past…
And the coroner spoke, heavy lead in his breath..
“She was two months pregnant…at the time of her death”…
And the spread of regret is the roil of the storm
A warped live wire heart in the coil of the mourn.....

[Ink]

Tomorrows Hell is Acceptable Today

Our kids will ask us... how we knew this was going on and let it happen.
This is a true story... imagine this reality... because it is reality.

The alarm clock crunches, same tune everyday
I awake to flea infested quarters... diseased decay
Torn sails for clothing, hardly harbor us from this winter
Oars in one motion, waves of slaves, ebb before inspectors
Off to work before the sun's shift, grunts wager keepsakes
"How many crunches?..." will this newborn's spine make
Under a man's weight, the alarm clock we're accustomed to...
Rhythmic, the crackle feels comfortable
They sat us down in rows, so today was special alright...
Traitors in our midst... brought to justice below the sky

I think back to yesterday when my mother left for the fields
She prepared cabbage soup for later, but I ate both our meals
She was passed-the-eye furious, a storm of fists rained down
Went back to work starving, collapsed, attracted a crowd
And now she's dragged out, before us all to pay the price
Unworthy of forgiveness in our Dear Leader's eyes
I'm not sorry... she's just competition for food
And if she's gone, I can go the days twice as full
And regardless... she must be held accountable
For conspiring against the camp, the gravest crime possible
Trust is for those that don't exist, to survive this life we snitch
And so I did, and she knows that I'm the one to benefit

Her eyelashes coated with dried tears and dirt
Look like petals unearthed from beneath a fire, mostly burnt
It could've been anyone today, him or her at any hour
It's the scientific act of plucking the pride off of flowers
I love her not, the feelings got, a sense of normalcy to it
The show begins, her screams punctuate the end of whips
Blood drips and then it sprints, soon as her tears get intermixed
She screams out that I'm a bitch, she'd see me with a toothy grin
If her eyes weren't swollen shut, I did it all for rat skin
They drag her naked to the noose, it's no secret what they'll do
As we sing out curses cause the guards find it commendable
The pole creaks under her weight, wind gives some semblace of life
Blowing her corpse in a soothing sway, it'll help me sleep at night

I'm the product of Camp Fourteen, I was born in this place
Flesh singed by Hade's face, with no concept of escape
There is no world beyond these fences, this is how it should be
My life is comfortable, well... relatively

In North Korea

[Zen]

Good first week showing you two forreal. Props.

IAmBenT: Dope verse. The italics portion of this piece seemed to be much better than the rest of the drop imo. Some great alliteration in there especially in the first segment. Great way to open up the verse imo and it remained steady throughout. Best segment was the second italics portion with those multis you were usin. Ill man.
Ink: Another dope verse from you as well. I've read that book as well in high school and you described it well. The imagery your piece captured was fuckin vivid man, but I'd have to leave just one complaint with your piece and that's that some lines were long winded to me. For instance the line about the mother leaving for the fields the next line is much too long winded for me. But if I had to say so you still encaptured this piece quite well.

As I've said before you both showed up great this week and for that props, but I've gotta vote with IAmBenT on this one. Nice battle fellas

[Mike Wrecka]

ya sick battle by two newcomers. im gonna do a quick vote sorry but I didn't want this to not get the appreciation it deserves.

iambent- ya dope verse man. I like your style. its very easy to read. had a good cadence and an advanced structure. it was a very solid drop. good stuff. the italics part did seem better than the rest. but ya very good effort.

ink- your verse was dope too man. I read it , I liked it a lot. very good story telling on display here. awesome stuff.

overall- I think a lot of people are sleeping because no one knows who the hell you guys are but ya your both talented enough to hang in this league which says a lot. great additions. I cant stress enough how sorry I am about the quick vote but its better than nothing I suppose. very close battle. very hard to decide but im gonna go with with the one I enjoyed slightly more.

vote- iambent

[Frank]

Vote - I AmBent

Excellent penmanship displayed by both sides. Enjoyed both pieces immensely. Similar styles almost. One verse was a little more direct, and you could say the line length was the culprit but it was more the cohesiveness of the 'tone'. The craftsmanship was the deciding factor. IaMBent had a lot of subtleness that was well tailored. I felt Ink wasn't as consistent in his focus and wavered a little. I am bent had interesting vocabulary and a wittier way with words.

Dazed, in a malaise,... I strayed into the graves,
-gray-faced slate shapes ... brittle with age-,
Die a little each day,... as the cold moon glows
My eyelids close, heavy as ... old tombstones

No more, no less, just grief and loss
They Eat the soul's gold and eke the dross
Tears never cease or pause, in creeps a fog
That I can't seem to see across...

My baby’s face, burned away by the intimate spark…

I couldn't pin point a line from Ink but his overall attention to presonal detail was refreshing and by the end of his saga I had a better appreciation for what was written

Dope battle

[Split]

Awesome battle..

IamBent- flow off the charts... Not flawless but fucking top notch, the story put me off a but until the end when it kinda validated all this emotion, like when you prod around too much in someone's business and learn the truth.. Imagery was dope as well.
It worked its the beat and def matched the tone

Ink. The characterization of your narrator as selfish but self-aware was interesting.. A more hopelessly hopeless take n a depressing topic., like I felt less faith n humanity after reading your verse. I liked how your verse was reflecting on one desolation over another, like a two-toned image of North Korea.

V/Ink. IamBenT had awesome lyricism but I got really captured by Ink's verse this week, found myself remembering images of it a few hours later which is rare

[patrown]

iambent- enjoyed the emotion in this weeks piece. a lot of real life situations and emotions i can relate to were here.facebook fights winding up in dead fetuses.. well, true to life. shits fucked up but you came pretty good with it.hitting on too many of my real life situations without development just pissed me off without letting me chew on it.. i liked the flow better here though.

ink- as stupid as this sounds, "what they'll do" and "find commendable" grabbed and shook me a little.
(end of whips, get intermixed. etc etc.)i like the broken assonance. maybe it's just my mood of the week, but this week you came through.

ink: i have to give you the /v this week because i related more. put simply, i'm feeling a little guilty about being an asshole son - AND you hit that nail right on the motherfucking head. can't really say it any differently. these two bars clenched it for me.
I'm not sorry... she's just competition for food
And if she's gone, I can go the days twice as full
you really made me feel guilty with those two. and for that, i vote ink.

[Split]

3-2 don't sleep

[TYSON]

Wow...

Two dope verses. Two different approach.

Iambent...your verse was smooth af. Flow on point with the instrumental. Great wording and just all around dope.

Ink....don't know if u was going along with the beat so I listened to the beat then read it. First off your story was dope and fucked up. How the fuck u gon snitch on your own mother? Damn. Felt the wording was ehhh imo. But it took nothing away from the story and imagery which sounds stupid I know.

Hmmm....well the factor that made my vote is the creativity. Iambent came with originality and ink got his idea from a book, howwever executed well. But I have to go with iambent in this. Dope battle.

[Vinzr]

Wow. Huge battle here.

I gotta say both kind of have their parts...I really loved Iambent's flow and rhyme scheme, that shit made the read to be very smooth. Mechanically i thought your verse was top notch and really hard to find any flaws in the mechanics of it. On top of that i really dug bent's approach. Ink had a good rhyme scheme and flow but the thing that stood out for me was his content, damn that stuff was great. Mechnically i think Iambent takes the cake but I gotta say Ink came with it with his content.But when it comes down to it I got to go with Iambent. He edges this slightly with having the better execution

v/ IAmBent

[King Ra.]

IAMBENT WINS, 5-2.