Exodus Eve

Zombie · 11-07-2013, 11:15 PM

yo -

ever gathered a segment that drifts in defection?
basked at an intervention. Scissored inception?
Inoculated love lectures, from a blistered injection?
Wilt your detection. In the arm there's sharp pains. you nudge pressure?
you're insane, then.
Beam at the jeweled spectrum- jolt the crystallized meth
Action spoke a louder verb, that symbolized death
Entwine the message, figured it'd be drama
Hide behind rejection. Cigarette or vodka?
Introverted saga. Wallflower, he could hear his own hums
Eyes watery from laughing. Verberating. Throats numb
Quandery is classic. Flashbacks on the contrast
Backnote to the bagpipes, contrary crackling
Abstinence is fear of crediting what you might be reduced to
We can see right through you- duplicity, wrath
Madness you undergo? Blood stained imagery plaque
Vivid stream synthetic flash; lights up the synergy path
Crawl before you walk, is such a realty relapse
Coffin for these gravediggers, all's just a publicity act
Live the mockery they portray. Interview my psychotic release
I sigh knowledge, sip white tonic. Deprived logic. A dream.
Headless phantom. Document the gluttons last breathing moment
May the mass reach condolence, archived in his memorandum
Infinities pass. Colloquy. These exchanges attached
Time doesn't exist. Clockwork cigar. Facing the facts
Forming facial syntax. Poppy seeds crisp your bagels with jam
The dusky sunset blazes your pale face to a hazely graham
Nasal exam. Olfactory vomit, comes the hospital que
8 calorie. Boozy refreshment from the hops that you brew
Gazed through the double helix with a kaleidoscope
Survey the fragile pieces, jigsaws-- align the globe
Awake during Hara-kiri. Provided you provide the rope
Behold the mockery of Kafkas theory, a misguided node

Eŋg · 11-09-2013, 03:17 PM

lol. this seems familiar? some parts were cool, others not so.

dead man · 11-09-2013, 03:22 PM

LOL

read it twice

Quote:

Time doesn't exist. Clockwork cigar. Facing the facts
Forming facial syntax. Poppy seeds crisp your bagels with jam

Eŋg · 11-09-2013, 03:29 PM

NAILED IT.

Zombie · 11-09-2013, 05:27 PM

lol ok. lol hi black =o. @Vulgar it's ok, take your time.

PancakeBrah · 11-09-2013, 11:17 PM

beginning sucked as an imitation. the repeated question marks threw it all off. after that, spot on.

NYCSPITZ · 11-09-2013, 11:27 PM

saw this on fb guess u added to it, it's cool, imitation was iight just stay with your own voice my G it's doper in paragraph form. This though was nice had some jewels in it, ended nice

Split · 11-10-2013, 10:22 AM

needs more lowercase letters. all of them. i liked it though, title game strong. nice parody/ impression. hazely graham was cool as was the last four lines and their structure

zygote · 11-10-2013, 10:43 AM

This was on netcees.com version 1, but do you have the rest of it? If so you should upload those parts. There were neighbor and dullboy satire section things too right? You wrote that it was a collaboration and most of the commentators were duped.

BWHAHA · 11-10-2013, 02:50 PM

Actually, lol. It wasn't. The version of this you may, slightly remember was on NC 1.0. Correct. This was a rebuffed version to match even closer. If I were to post that one, it would be an embarrassment to this one. Wording was a bit off on that one and I prefer this one much better, regardless of author @ZYGote.

To my knowledge, it was done as flattery.

Wise Wiggles · 11-10-2013, 03:16 PM

Cool I liked it

11-07-2013, 11:15 PM	#1
Zombie Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 125 Battle Record: 5-0 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 2645340	Exodus Eve yo - ever gathered a segment that drifts in defection? basked at an intervention. Scissored inception? Inoculated love lectures, from a blistered injection? Wilt your detection. In the arm there's sharp pains. you nudge pressure? you're insane, then. Beam at the jeweled spectrum- jolt the crystallized meth Action spoke a louder verb, that symbolized death Entwine the message, figured it'd be drama Hide behind rejection. Cigarette or vodka? Introverted saga. Wallflower, he could hear his own hums Eyes watery from laughing. Verberating. Throats numb Quandery is classic. Flashbacks on the contrast Backnote to the bagpipes, contrary crackling Abstinence is fear of crediting what you might be reduced to We can see right through you- duplicity, wrath Madness you undergo? Blood stained imagery plaque Vivid stream synthetic flash; lights up the synergy path Crawl before you walk, is such a realty relapse Coffin for these gravediggers, all's just a publicity act Live the mockery they portray. Interview my psychotic release I sigh knowledge, sip white tonic. Deprived logic. A dream. Headless phantom. Document the gluttons last breathing moment May the mass reach condolence, archived in his memorandum Infinities pass. Colloquy. These exchanges attached Time doesn't exist. Clockwork cigar. Facing the facts Forming facial syntax. Poppy seeds crisp your bagels with jam The dusky sunset blazes your pale face to a hazely graham Nasal exam. Olfactory vomit, comes the hospital que 8 calorie. Boozy refreshment from the hops that you brew Gazed through the double helix with a kaleidoscope Survey the fragile pieces, jigsaws-- align the globe Awake during Hara-kiri. Provided you provide the rope Behold the mockery of Kafkas theory, a misguided node Last edited by Zombie; 11-09-2013 at 05:28 PM.

11-09-2013, 05:27 PM	#5
Zombie Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 125 Battle Record: 5-0 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 2645340	lol ok. lol hi black =o. @Vulgar it's ok, take your time. Last edited by Zombie; 11-09-2013 at 06:26 PM.

11-09-2013, 11:17 PM	#6
PancakeBrah SOBER Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 12,480 Battle Record: 2-5 Champed - AOWL Season 2 Rep Power: 85899407	beginning sucked as an imitation. the repeated question marks threw it all off. after that, spot on. __________________ Netcees 2025 Revivalist Movement Founder

11-10-2013, 10:22 AM	#8
Split . Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 8,898 Battle Record: 27-22 Rep Power: 85899399	needs more lowercase letters. all of them. i liked it though, title game strong. nice parody/ impression. hazely graham was cool as was the last four lines and their structure __________________ http://split8.yolasite.com

11-10-2013, 03:16 PM	#11
Wise Wiggles nok Su kow Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,505 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 51788022	Cool I liked it __________________ "black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch"

11-09-2013, 03:17 PM	#2
Eŋg rhyme capsule. Join Date: Sep 2018 Posts: 2,150 Rep Power: 0	lol. this seems familiar? some parts were cool, others not so.

11-09-2013, 03:29 PM	#4
Eŋg rhyme capsule. Join Date: Sep 2018 Posts: 2,150 Rep Power: 0	NAILED IT.

11-09-2013, 11:27 PM	#7
NYCSPITZ SYRACUSE Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,031 Battle Record: 31-37 Champed - Write Night II - Alias Topical Tournament Rep Power: 4743547	saw this on fb guess u added to it, it's cool, imitation was iight just stay with your own voice my G it's doper in paragraph form. This though was nice had some jewels in it, ended nice

11-10-2013, 10:43 AM	#9
zygote Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 501 Battle Record: 33-12 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Art of Writing League (3x) Rep Power: 737828	This was on netcees.com version 1, but do you have the rest of it? If so you should upload those parts. There were neighbor and dullboy satire section things too right? You wrote that it was a collaboration and most of the commentators were duped.

11-10-2013, 02:50 PM	#10
BWHAHA Sophomore Member Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 176 Rep Power: 4754293	Actually, lol. It wasn't. The version of this you may, slightly remember was on NC 1.0. Correct. This was a rebuffed version to match even closer. If I were to post that one, it would be an embarrassment to this one. Wording was a bit off on that one and I prefer this one much better, regardless of author @ZYGote. To my knowledge, it was done as flattery.