The superstar is broken.

Certain · 10-05-2013, 01:19 PM

This is how easily the shooting star falls from the skies:
He stood tall in the lights, with fame, wealth, glory all in his sights.
Then, in a ball on his side, swallowing pride,
Derrick Rose, Chicago's favorite son, down and calling for ice.

"I've watched it 20- or 30-something times. But I try not to think about it."

This is the superstar, strapped to the leg press,
his back and thighs aching from ravaging 10-sets.
It's in his eyes. He can't escape the image of buckling,
the knee twisted and crumbling, physically humbling.
The superstar was exquisite at jumping, a marvel of grace
now harnessing pain in hopes of discarding this brace.

"Everyone's free to voice their own opinion. I can't stop people from saying stuff."

This is the MVP, the point guard, the floor general and captain,
now defenselessly basking in fans' resentment and madness.
But they don't understand.
Their knees have only bent as far as their minds.
But as hard as he grinds, parked on a bike,
the superstar feels like he's going nowhere, marking the time
with meaningless gains. He's seeing what's plain:
He may never again weave through the lane without reeling in pain.

"The thought of me going out there and injuring myself again, I didn't want to put myself in that position."

This is the superstar, returning to work.
He still turns with a jerk on his spin move, learning the twerk
on his new knee ligament, concerning at first.
But the surgeon had words, swearing he'd soon be swinging it.
This is not an end. This is the superstar, focusing tight,
honing his flight and proving he still can go to his right.
This is the superstar practicing, staying late on the clock.
That which doesn't kill him only improves the range on his shot.
The days fade into blots. Six to nine months turns to a year.
This is the superstar, the new season, emerging from tears.

"The only thing that's changed in my game is my confidence level. I think I'm way more confident in my craft, in my game. I worked out a whole year training on my body."

BWHAHA · 10-05-2013, 04:23 PM

oh wow! good thing u posted that... thought u wouldnt.
iliked the focus on one thing but i didnt like what u focused on. the writing was neat. its kewl..!

Just Write · 10-07-2013, 11:51 AM

flawless piece man, except to be real honest I didn't like the italic single lined portions although I understand why you added them. i just think it was an abrupt pause in a somewhat seamless story but that's just petty critique.

This is the superstar, strapped to the leg press,
his back and thighs aching from ravaging 10-sets.
It's in his eyes. He can't escape the image of buckling,
the knee twisted and crumbling, physically humbling.
The superstar was exquisite at jumping, a marvel of grace
now harnessing pain in hopes of discarding this brace.

now i played basketball and football through high school and college so pretty much immediately this brought me back to those days ok trying to recoup from a twisted ankle or hyper extended knee lol

This is the superstar, returning to work.
He still turns with a jerk on his spin move, learning the twerk
on his new knee ligament, concerning at first.
But the surgeon had words, swearing he'd soon be swinging it.
This is not an end. This is the superstar, focusing tight,
honing his flight and proving he still can go to his right.
This is the superstar practicing, staying late on the clock.
That which doesn't kill him only improves the range on his shot.
The days fade into blots. Six to nine months turns to a year.
This is the superstar, the new season, emerging from tears.

lol'ed at learning to twerk haha
ok so i really did enjoy this piece and i don't know if you want just feed or critique but the only thing I can say to improve thiswould be to add just a little more emotion to it so it's not as bland, don't get me wrong, flow/development/mechanical everythingwas on point it was just a little lackadaisical. but I did enjoy it none the less. stay up man and if you get a chance maybe you could peep my no show piece? thanks

Certain · 10-07-2013, 12:06 PM

Thanks, Just Write. The italicized quotes are real quotes from Derrick Rose. And I already have read your verse, and feedback will be coming in the magazine's no-show shine section.

Just Write · 10-07-2013, 12:34 PM

@Certain, i figured they were, thats why I said I understand why you put them there lol. good piece though, excited to read your piece this week. stay up

beegee · 10-08-2013, 03:11 PM

motherfucker.
I'm from Miami so you know I hate D.Rose.
But I hated to see him go out like that
even worse to see him not come back last year.
dude looks great this year so far tho
hope we dont see you guys in the playoffs either way

on to the piece.
this was very cool.
kinda biased here but def an interesting topic
you did damn well with it.

Eŋg · 10-08-2013, 10:20 PM

well i have nothing to do with basketball, like, at all. except i played one time when i was 8. or 13. i also went to a school with a guy who ended up playing it semi-professionally (still does, i think, idk fb is gay). interestingly: he had a birthmark which constituted a red colouring on just one side of his pallid face. we'd usually tease him for having been smacked at birth, about there, so harshly the sting stuck. the more cultured kids (me) suggested the afterbirth was too fond of him. ikr. anyway.

in fact i'm not going to feed this.

Mr. J · 10-09-2013, 06:54 PM

This wad cool my bad for getting at it late
the storyline is great you remind me of a guy I played ball with
seems like something he would do due to Rose's inspirations
it kept moving in the right direction lightly focused on parts to keep it moving
edged it out with the quotes good thing Rose don't rap
he could take the road like Shaq....nice piece breh

CopyPat · 10-12-2013, 06:22 PM

my D rose when i read this....

jk. but i enjoyed it. super original man, can't say enough about that, was almost like a research assignment or school project case study but with rhymes haha. pretty slick. nice refreshing read. showed off ur rhyming skills too. overall really good. i don't think ive read anything from u i haven't liked yet. stay dope

Zen · 10-13-2013, 09:43 PM

lol'd at my D rose when I read this. God damn Pat.

Certain I read this awhile ago and I'm just now getting around to dropping some feed on it because I'm a procrastinating bastard. As far as the structure and scheming of this piece, it was damn near flawless imo. The content as well appealed to me because I'm a Bulls fan plus I live about 30 minutes from Memphis so I remember him playing college very well. All in all this was a great piece of work man.

dead man · 10-13-2013, 10:54 PM

this was another awesome verse. i think you are emerging as one of my favorites as far as purely topical writing is concerned. you know how to breathe life into an idea and really execute the shit out of it.

of course being from where i am i was immediately drawn to this. Derrick has returned with a vengeance and will put on for his city in a major way this year. so many haters in our city which is pathetic given how much Derrick has represented and led our team to the best of his ability.

thanks for this one certain, i have read it a few times and enjoyed it more each time.

props

1

Fig · 10-14-2013, 01:17 AM

Lol, this was mad dope certain. Very focused and convincing, in that this didn't just feel like a story about D rose. This is what I imagine him to be feeling at that stage of his life. I'm all for zany concepts and this one would be hard to do without making it sound corny, for anyone else that is. That knees bend as far as their minds line mightve edged on the sappy side but, I'm just nitpicking. The quotes were implemented quite nicely and also distinguished your piece from the way a regular OM drop reads. The first and last quotes worked best, the middle were kinda eh in terms of the tone of the piece. It was like, what you wrote had way more emotion than what he had to say about it at that particular moment.

Anywho, cool piece bro, I'm really fuckin enjoying it

e11even · 10-14-2013, 02:57 AM

This was very interesting. This seems to be a homage to Rose, but as a non-fan I can still appreciate your work. This was well designed, complete with quotes as storyline milestones (I fucks with that as some may know) and it all came together as a Cinderella story would. Great job and I would read anything you write because of this piece.

Meant to feed this a while back, but I forgot. Great work.

dull boy · 11-23-2013, 05:40 PM

lol

http://nba.si.com/2013/11/23/derrick...chicago-bulls/

Nigma · 11-24-2013, 12:57 PM

Rofl Pat!!!

Whatsup Certain! You did an amazing job taking on the persona of Rose here, and to a greater extent the persona of any recovering athlete. I'm sure most of us have been in that position, and although im not a huge basketball fan I could relate to some of your descriptions about being explosive off the knee to make a play. I thought the whole 'shooting star' concept was utilized very well, and the quotes were a nice touch as well. The last quote, following a stanza about the negativity of the injury and a pessimistic tone, contrasted very nicely with the ending, especially for someone who isn't familiar with his story. Interesting verse broseph, made for a solid read

10-07-2013, 11:51 AM	#3
Just Write Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 1,709 Battle Record: 9-12 Rep Power: 4997617	flawless piece man, except to be real honest I didn't like the italic single lined portions although I understand why you added them. i just think it was an abrupt pause in a somewhat seamless story but that's just petty critique. This is the superstar, strapped to the leg press, his back and thighs aching from ravaging 10-sets. It's in his eyes. He can't escape the image of buckling, the knee twisted and crumbling, physically humbling. The superstar was exquisite at jumping, a marvel of grace now harnessing pain in hopes of discarding this brace. now i played basketball and football through high school and college so pretty much immediately this brought me back to those days ok trying to recoup from a twisted ankle or hyper extended knee lol This is the superstar, returning to work. He still turns with a jerk on his spin move, learning the twerk on his new knee ligament, concerning at first. But the surgeon had words, swearing he'd soon be swinging it. This is not an end. This is the superstar, focusing tight, honing his flight and proving he still can go to his right. This is the superstar practicing, staying late on the clock. That which doesn't kill him only improves the range on his shot. The days fade into blots. Six to nine months turns to a year. This is the superstar, the new season, emerging from tears. lol'ed at learning to twerk haha ok so i really did enjoy this piece and i don't know if you want just feed or critique but the only thing I can say to improve thiswould be to add just a little more emotion to it so it's not as bland, don't get me wrong, flow/development/mechanical everythingwas on point it was just a little lackadaisical. but I did enjoy it none the less. stay up man and if you get a chance maybe you could peep my no show piece? thanks __________________

10-07-2013, 12:06 PM	#4
Certain Mad fucking dangerous. Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 12,066 Battle Record: 40-19 Champed - AOWL Season 3 - Art of Writing League (2x) Rep Power: 85899406	Thanks, Just Write. The italicized quotes are real quotes from Derrick Rose. And I already have read your verse, and feedback will be coming in the magazine's no-show shine section. __________________ I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws.

10-07-2013, 12:34 PM	#5
Just Write Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 1,709 Battle Record: 9-12 Rep Power: 4997617	@Certain, i figured they were, thats why I said I understand why you put them there lol. good piece though, excited to read your piece this week. stay up __________________

10-09-2013, 06:54 PM	#8
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	This wad cool my bad for getting at it late the storyline is great you remind me of a guy I played ball with seems like something he would do due to Rose's inspirations it kept moving in the right direction lightly focused on parts to keep it moving edged it out with the quotes good thing Rose don't rap he could take the road like Shaq....nice piece breh __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

10-12-2013, 06:22 PM	#9
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 708 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742225	my D rose when i read this.... jk. but i enjoyed it. super original man, can't say enough about that, was almost like a research assignment or school project case study but with rhymes haha. pretty slick. nice refreshing read. showed off ur rhyming skills too. overall really good. i don't think ive read anything from u i haven't liked yet. stay dope __________________ My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete.

10-05-2013, 04:23 PM	#2
BWHAHA Sophomore Member Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 176 Rep Power: 4754293	oh wow! good thing u posted that... thought u wouldnt. iliked the focus on one thing but i didnt like what u focused on. the writing was neat. its kewl..!

10-08-2013, 03:11 PM	#6
beegee Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Posts: 32 Rep Power: 0	motherfucker. I'm from Miami so you know I hate D.Rose. But I hated to see him go out like that even worse to see him not come back last year. dude looks great this year so far tho hope we dont see you guys in the playoffs either way on to the piece. this was very cool. kinda biased here but def an interesting topic you did damn well with it.

10-08-2013, 10:20 PM	#7
Eŋg rhyme capsule. Join Date: Sep 2018 Posts: 2,150 Rep Power: 0	well i have nothing to do with basketball, like, at all. except i played one time when i was 8. or 13. i also went to a school with a guy who ended up playing it semi-professionally (still does, i think, idk fb is gay). interestingly: he had a birthmark which constituted a red colouring on just one side of his pallid face. we'd usually tease him for having been smacked at birth, about there, so harshly the sting stuck. the more cultured kids (me) suggested the afterbirth was too fond of him. ikr. anyway. in fact i'm not going to feed this.

10-13-2013, 09:43 PM	#10
Zen Arm the Homeless Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,102 Battle Record: 22-24 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 35079722	lol'd at my D rose when I read this. God damn Pat. Certain I read this awhile ago and I'm just now getting around to dropping some feed on it because I'm a procrastinating bastard. As far as the structure and scheming of this piece, it was damn near flawless imo. The content as well appealed to me because I'm a Bulls fan plus I live about 30 minutes from Memphis so I remember him playing college very well. All in all this was a great piece of work man.

10-13-2013, 10:54 PM	#11
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,485 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606679	this was another awesome verse. i think you are emerging as one of my favorites as far as purely topical writing is concerned. you know how to breathe life into an idea and really execute the shit out of it. of course being from where i am i was immediately drawn to this. Derrick has returned with a vengeance and will put on for his city in a major way this year. so many haters in our city which is pathetic given how much Derrick has represented and led our team to the best of his ability. thanks for this one certain, i have read it a few times and enjoyed it more each time. props 1 __________________ Zack Wicks for president

10-14-2013, 01:17 AM	#12
Fig Om Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 6,461 Battle Record: 8-16 Rep Power: 84181562	Lol, this was mad dope certain. Very focused and convincing, in that this didn't just feel like a story about D rose. This is what I imagine him to be feeling at that stage of his life. I'm all for zany concepts and this one would be hard to do without making it sound corny, for anyone else that is. That knees bend as far as their minds line mightve edged on the sappy side but, I'm just nitpicking. The quotes were implemented quite nicely and also distinguished your piece from the way a regular OM drop reads. The first and last quotes worked best, the middle were kinda eh in terms of the tone of the piece. It was like, what you wrote had way more emotion than what he had to say about it at that particular moment. Anywho, cool piece bro, I'm really fuckin enjoying it __________________ BIRDHORSE 8-15

10-14-2013, 02:57 AM	#13
e11even V.V Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: . Posts: 2,076 Battle Record: 31-20 Rep Power: 6247259	This was very interesting. This seems to be a homage to Rose, but as a non-fan I can still appreciate your work. This was well designed, complete with quotes as storyline milestones (I fucks with that as some may know) and it all came together as a Cinderella story would. Great job and I would read anything you write because of this piece. Meant to feed this a while back, but I forgot. Great work. __________________ Ahem.

11-23-2013, 05:40 PM	#14
dull boy consults Lloyd Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 4,053 Battle Record: 0-8 Champed -1-2 Punch League Roast Rep Power: 39345604	lol http://nba.si.com/2013/11/23/derrick...chicago-bulls/

11-24-2013, 12:57 PM	#15
Nigma The COAT... Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: BC, Canada Posts: 1,723 Battle Record: 28-20 Champed - Art of Writing League (x3) Rep Power: 4595813	Rofl Pat!!! Whatsup Certain! You did an amazing job taking on the persona of Rose here, and to a greater extent the persona of any recovering athlete. I'm sure most of us have been in that position, and although im not a huge basketball fan I could relate to some of your descriptions about being explosive off the knee to make a play. I thought the whole 'shooting star' concept was utilized very well, and the quotes were a nice touch as well. The last quote, following a stanza about the negativity of the injury and a pessimistic tone, contrasted very nicely with the ending, especially for someone who isn't familiar with his story. Interesting verse broseph, made for a solid read __________________