Castles in the air

[Frank]

"Mommy, I'm okay,

"SANDY HOOK"

Seagulls swarmed Sandra as she threw bread in the air - without a care in the world.
The hyper birds swirled above her head in a beautiful frenzy that spun her dizzy into an embarrassing url........
her parents observe from chairs in the turf:
Swearing a blur;
Prepared to go get her;
Pale, with concern
..
Sandra hurls bread, into the mouths, of the flock, she orchestrates into perilous turns,
Seagull droppings; splatter her face
- everywhere in her curls.
.
The mother covers the sun with her hand, and stares til it burns.
The wave’s wear and tear on the earth – as tides draw closer to her feet – Sandra fearlessly whirls
The ocean is, still, with, danger, lurking, beneath transparencies surge;
Sandra twirls oblivious to her parents now blaring words towards a scarier surf
...
The mothers voice can be heard in the seashells like aquarium urns
Seagulls flapped their wings, as your parents worst nightmare unfurls......
Sandra - hearing impaired, her mothers, clarity, stern,
her conchlear eroded, from the sea salt and the bird shit that went through her hair and churned her ear to a mur-mur-
......................
Lifeguards hurry off their chairs, firing flares, in spurs.
helicopter hovers, above, above the seagulls, above Sandra - flailing, submerged.
volley balls are impaled from the berserk
shrieking of parents, yelling -
After they apparently learn the welfare of their child
For a quarter square mile - beware of alerts........


...Sandra’s.. somewhere.. in the surf…


Battling a 1000 pound Sand Tiger Shark......


………her sandals emerge.
..
....
The underwater ruckus
chips coral- cracking
shell
fish –
as our
cameras
stir
..
………
(you reading - c'mon..... share in the search…)

Pretend you’re the parent of this girl.....

Sun burned - red glare of the world…...

The wind knocked out of your sails – you try holding on to the rails of the world -

Only to bury your head in the lair of the earth.
..
Your daughters body rises to the surface,

I dare you to turn -

The seagulls hoist her from the watery grave before a school of hammers converge......

Earl and Shirl turned ghost white …. as tan as they were……...



Sandra,

Pearl, You deserve a prayer from the church.

Dear Lord, are we etched in stone or just scratched in the sand for the surf?

Where do we go when we perish from purge?

To the Castles in the air.

[patrown]

Oh tell me why?



jk. will edit in feed later. like the verse.

[e11even]

Oh My God. That was the most beautiful piece I've ever read here up to this very point. I read the first half of this weeks ago, but I never got around to finishing. Damn, dude. This hits so hard. As a man with children, I would never recover from a loss like that. Great work. Worth more than a win in any battle. I'll be looking for you more often. A++

[Frank]

Originally Posted by Vividlyvague

Oh My God. That was the most beautiful piece I've ever read here up to this very point. I read the first half of this weeks ago, but I never got around to finishing. Damn, dude. This hits so hard. As a man with children, I would never recover from a loss like that. Great work. Worth more than a win in any battle. I'll be looking for you more often. A++

respect

[Wise Wiggles]

Didn't you already just post this under a different name? The fuck.

[e11even]

Originally Posted by Wise Ways

Didn't you already just post this under a different name? The fuck.

didn't even notice that. Frank is hilarious. Thats pretty shameless lol.

[Wise Wiggles]

blazed & fucked up. I will comment this soon though. My name there was EnigMatic or some shit. Maybe Siege. Didn't really post too much at all.

[Frank]

wise where you at, you used to always feed my shit

sup with that

[Geno]

if you delete your own response again, I'm gonna be pissed.

Very dope piece btw. Vetwork.

[Frank]

nah, i know you capable of complete sentences. some real feeds appreciated. between me and you that's some real shit.

btw, if you wanna get with Vetwork, I'd be happy to have you

Word

[PancakeBrah]

cool.

[Frank]

im sorry for destroying your confidence in that chatroom with split and zygote and black

oh wait......


lol @Split Eight

[Frank]

@Darth Yoda

interested in what you think about this

[patrown]

Frank - what the fuck. seagulls shitting on this girls face. why?
why would seagulls be shitting on this girls face? idk. they're perilously turning,

her mother is covering her to avoid her child getting covered with .. perilous turds.
in her curls.

almost felt like she was slingshotting stale pieces of sourdough at the birds.
malicious like. not that thats not cool, i mean. i used to do that with like.
pellets and stuff. but still. interesting.
so the mothers voice is an abstract concept.

almost as if , the child was being given a warning from parents.
but that wasn't truly evident. just an everyday event, conversation.

aquarium urns was a little bit stretched for me. seriously, too in depth.
not going to be caught. still, deep. i appreciate that line. just still.
try harder. use more syllables to communicate the deeper meanings.
that was seriously important.

still more about the bird dookie. what the fuck. conchlier implants? turn for the better. i kinda see where the degrading aspect of the verse is coming from. notthat..
being deaf is bad. just .. well. i saw your angle when i read that.

volley balls impaled by berserk what? monster?
etc etc. tell more there for such strong language. easy to do in 3-5 syllables.

ahh. children, welfare. far away from them. thats a little diddy in and of itself.
transparencies is very openly interpreted. i think you were trying to allow for some sick shit along with the wholesale widely accepted regular run of the mill meaning people can swallow.

her conchlear eroded, from the sea salt and the bird shit that went through her hair and churned her ear to a mur-mur-
fuck you. i love you. but fuck you farhter than i love you. k? cool.
shark attacks.. warnings.. to pearl. i just wrote on a bitch named pearl.
you ... contraversial ass. well spoken person. seriously, idk. what to say about you.
honestly. you're way too abstract here. i've read your shit so much more descriptive. but this piece feels like you're drawing in your audience through allusions and vague statements.
enjoyed it very much. so much. great piece Frank. great piece. Thank you. Keep these coming.

Much love. All in all, I feel like you need to make some more pointed statements to get your general meaning across to the masses. but as far as this piece goes and i am concerned.. you killed it. Great drop. Thank you.

[e11even]

Originally Posted by patrown

Frank - what the fuck. seagulls shitting on this girls face. why?
why would seagulls be shitting on this girls face? idk. they're perilously turning,

her mother is covering her to avoid her child getting covered with .. perilous turds.
in her curls.

almost felt like she was slingshotting stale pieces of sourdough at the birds.
malicious like. not that thats not cool, i mean. i used to do that with like.
pellets and stuff. but still. interesting.
so the mothers voice is an abstract concept.

hilarious feed if i may say so myself.

[Frank]

Originally Posted by patrown

Frank - what the fuck. seagulls shitting on this girls face. why?
why would seagulls be shitting on this girls face? idk. they're perilously turning,

her mother is covering her to avoid her child getting covered with .. perilous turds.
in her curls.

almost felt like she was slingshotting stale pieces of sourdough at the birds.
malicious like. not that thats not cool, i mean. i used to do that with like.
pellets and stuff. but still. interesting.
so the mothers voice is an abstract concept.

almost as if , the child was being given a warning from parents.
but that wasn't truly evident. just an everyday event, conversation.

aquarium urns was a little bit stretched for me. seriously, too in depth.
not going to be caught. still, deep. i appreciate that line. just still.
try harder. use more syllables to communicate the deeper meanings.
that was seriously important.

still more about the bird dookie. what the fuck. conchlier implants? turn for the better. i kinda see where the degrading aspect of the verse is coming from. notthat..
being deaf is bad. just .. well. i saw your angle when i read that.

volley balls impaled by berserk what? monster?
etc etc. tell more there for such strong language. easy to do in 3-5 syllables.

ahh. children, welfare. far away from them. thats a little diddy in and of itself.
transparencies is very openly interpreted. i think you were trying to allow for some sick shit along with the wholesale widely accepted regular run of the mill meaning people can swallow.

her conchlear eroded, from the sea salt and the bird shit that went through her hair and churned her ear to a mur-mur-
fuck you. i love you. but fuck you farhter than i love you. k? cool.
shark attacks.. warnings.. to pearl. i just wrote on a bitch named pearl.
you ... contraversial ass. well spoken person. seriously, idk. what to say about you.
honestly. you're way too abstract here. i've read your shit so much more descriptive. but this piece feels like you're drawing in your audience through allusions and vague statements.
enjoyed it very much. so much. great piece Frank. great piece. Thank you. Keep these coming.

Much love. All in all, I feel like you need to make some more pointed statements to get your general meaning across to the masses. but as far as this piece goes and i am concerned.. you killed it. Great drop. Thank you.

that was dope^


thank you very much.

couple more cats should leave some feedback. word to your mother

[PancakeBrah]

This was cool.