Netcees  

Go Back   Netcees > Forum > Open Mic Section
Register FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-22-2013, 09:15 PM   #1
e11even
V.V
 
e11even's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: .
Posts: 2,076
Battle Record: 31-20



Rep Power: 6247259
e11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant future
Post found a couple pennies in my floorboards..

i didn't hafta try...howling at moons brought fourth sons
primordial thought crossed lines...crossed time with loss won.
one lost would cross some, but cross said alls done.
so resolute in inifinite uncertainty, to cross that'd be awe-some.
the jester'd reside nextdoor to false wisdom, enthralled and amused.
a false partnership befalls all who it called to be viewed.
yet they all continuously do. one grasp of a familiar opposite opposes,
yet, its probable, that the option imposes a climax more true.
but wat cryer would provide flyer bearing this heir of excuse?
I embrace what can- tastes of man, torn at ease of what is, and
if what isn't what actually is, then wat is this sham?
matrixes of woven fallices of broken majesty drenched in travesty...
blood serving a mental note though repitition of catastrophy.
we battle for all with only half of we...
not knowing the half of what half would be.
so many questions to be quested, yet we guess them.
the foolish in the cool of the unmoved students... introspection neglected.
let come what may til june scorches and december wins torches.
dismembered limb at spirit's whim, where no longer, mirrors lend portrait.
we will collectively see what we seek and all surrounding....
those devoted to unwound foundings may be ground or found drowning.
__________________
Ahem.
e11even is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2013, 09:53 PM   #2
Inno
Ad mini tator
 
Inno's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 10,025
Battle Record: 26-54


Champed
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Black August
- 1-2 Punch League

Rep Power: 85899403
Inno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond repute
Default

I gotta be honest first couple lines flew right by me...but that could be the wording because through out this I was a bit misplaced. great word use..felt like at times you just used words to rhyme tho...didn't really have a direction at times..just all out rhyming which is cool and I guess I cant take this for a topical..feels more like a SnF flex type of piece sprinkled with some cool ideas that when developed could be some HOF type of shit...but this cool man nothing really outrages but I read it through...gotta count or something.
Inno is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2013, 10:39 PM   #3
Nigma
The COAT...
 
Nigma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 1,723
Battle Record: 28-20


Champed
- Art of Writing League (x3)

Rep Power: 4595813
Nigma has a brilliant futureNigma has a brilliant futureNigma has a brilliant futureNigma has a brilliant futureNigma has a brilliant futureNigma has a brilliant futureNigma has a brilliant futureNigma has a brilliant futureNigma has a brilliant futureNigma has a brilliant futureNigma has a brilliant future
Default

"primordial thought crossed lines...crossed time with loss won.
one lost would cross some, but cross said alls done"

really like this. Loved little twists to wording and intellectual word play sparced throughout the verse. For its size this was full of content and read smoooothly which really just keeps the reader focused and eager to flow with the piece. I look forward to reading more from you V
__________________
Nigma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-22-2013, 11:53 PM   #4
Bodey
Senior Member
 
Bodey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,145
Battle Record: 1-1


Champed
- Guerrilla writing league

Rep Power: 19240095
Bodey has a brilliant futureBodey has a brilliant futureBodey has a brilliant futureBodey has a brilliant futureBodey has a brilliant futureBodey has a brilliant futureBodey has a brilliant futureBodey has a brilliant futureBodey has a brilliant futureBodey has a brilliant futureBodey has a brilliant future
Default

matrixes of woven fallices of broken majesty drenched in travesty...
blood serving a mental note though repitition of catastrophy.
so many questions to be quested, yet we guess them.

liked those lines^^ i wasnt quite sure what this piece was specifically about though, all i could pic was my friends that have been to iraq. reminded me a lot of war, and just how society may play pretend with one another in how they feel about it. some are real, some put their heads in the sand. anyways, not sure if that was your intention, but it was an interesting read
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Objective View Post
Judging from those pics and the state you're in I've concluded with the fact that the world needs more Bodeys.
Bodey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-23-2013, 12:52 AM   #5
e11even
V.V
 
e11even's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: .
Posts: 2,076
Battle Record: 31-20



Rep Power: 6247259
e11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant future
Default

thank you all for the great feed.
__________________
Ahem.
e11even is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2013, 03:39 PM   #6
e11even
V.V
 
e11even's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: .
Posts: 2,076
Battle Record: 31-20



Rep Power: 6247259
e11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant futuree11even has a brilliant future
Default

bump.
__________________
Ahem.
e11even is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2013, 05:43 PM   #7
veritas
HALL OF FAME
 
veritas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: portal 7 to the 9th exponent
Posts: 16,160
Battle Record: 3-5



Rep Power: 0
veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas
Default

Your toungue twisting multi skills are top notch! Post more
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Consensus
The cerebral assassin, the molder of minds, the Omni potent being. Time transcending traveler, wisdom incarnate. Veritas needs no intro but I guess I have to. He’s not know in the battling world but who doesn’t know veritas? The guy us always original and if you pay attention to his bars, dude brings the heat.. The gawd.
veritas is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:53 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Google+