Return of the Monster

[Zen]

The vicious idol begins his revival by ripping rivals and gifting my disciples
W's since I ditched the title, Ya'll been top sitters I'm a hard hitter
Fuckin splittin vinyls, You got in the finals? Shit I'm a God, Mister!!
I drop scripture like I'm shittin bibles.
Now I'm back from my absence to attack with a vengeance as a savage addict
That's come to shatter your existence, Go run off and gather the census
And ask 'em who Zen is, He's the God, They just laugh that you're mentioned!!
So gather your riches and pass 'em to me bitches and sit your ass back on the benches,
Fuck the title, I got my ring from a fuckin Saturn collision.
I'm after precision forming rapid incisions to tatter dimensions
Til the matter is splitting just so I could find something fatter to fit my dick in,
I bet you bastards are wishing I stayed gone like a faded out playin the same songs
Because I make the greats leap like Mao Zedong...
It's official...
It's the return of the monster back to purge and slaughter the first of martyrs
As I burn and conquer you worthless imposters before I turn to the fathers
To sodomize their virgin daughters, Face the facts...
I'm insane and brash and breaking bad, Shit I learned it from Walter,
So when you see the glock wieldin chronic villian
With psychotic feelings pop in the building...
...It's safe to say I'm back...

[Frank]

My nigga

[e11even]

pretty crazy write up to say the least. I enjoyed it.

Fuck the title, I got my ring from a fuckin Saturn collision.<<- i thought that one was cool.

welcome back... i guess lol.

[Brian Bryan]

I was never a fan of multies that don't match up exactly.

This was cool, though.

[Zen]

Originally Posted by Frank

My nigga

What's up my dude?
And appreciate all the feed. Drop a link in a pm and I'll return the favor.

[Brian Bryan]

http://netcees.co/showthread.php?goto=newpost&t=11421

[Fig]

Buddah what up though

this was cool, multis and all that lookin nice. Ive obviously seen you write better, but like youve said your just shakin the rust off. Im in that position too as a matter of fact lol. Pretty generic as far as content goes but the scheming was clean.

stay writing bro

[Kaeo Seru]

the 1st 4 lines had and excellent flow and rhyme scheme. got me hooked to read more. flow stayed smooth throughout and had some intriguing lines. nothing over-the-top-wow material. but consistently dope and ended just as smoothly. i felt like if you wanted you could've came harder than this so I'll keep an eye on you for sure

[PancakeBrah]

Flex pieces seem so dry and boring to me. I'm familiar with your name but I can't recall a verse from you. So here it goes.

"The vicious idol begins his revival by ripping rivals and gifting my disciples
W's since I ditched the title, Ya'll been top sitters I'm a hard hitter
Fuckin splittin vinyls, You got in the finals? Shit I'm a God, Mister!!
I drop scripture like I'm shittin bibles."

I disagree with Lars' critique of mismatching multis, at least in this section. You actually used two set of multis with similar syllables as a mix and match here. Content wise I wasn't blown away.

"Now I'm back from my absence to attack with a vengeance as a savage addict
That's come to shatter your existence, Go run off and gather the census
And ask 'em who Zen is, He's the God, They just laugh that you're mentioned!!
So gather your riches and pass 'em to me bitches and sit your ass back on the benches,"

Standard stuff, to me. Rhymes were solid but nothing innovative. I didn't see any schemes or hard and fast multis that I haven't seen before in some shape or another. The content, again, didn't make up for the lack of firepower.

"Fuck the title, I got my ring from a fuckin Saturn collision.
I'm after precision forming rapid incisions to tatter dimensions"

Probably the best bar so far.

"Til the matter is splitting just so I could find something fatter to fit my dick in,
I bet you bastards are wishing I stayed gone like a faded out playin the same songs
Because I make the greats leap like Mao Zedong...
It's official...
It's the return of the monster back to purge and slaughter the first of martyrs
As I burn and conquer you worthless imposters before I turn to the fathers
To sodomize their virgin daughters, Face the facts...
I'm insane and brash and breaking bad, Shit I learned it from Walter,"

Another instance of 'mismatched multis' that are actually just similar multis in different schemes. So at least that's good The breaking bad connection is tired.

"So when you see the glock wieldin chronic villian"

Best line of the piece, and something I think is difficult to do (consecutive rhymes). It came off natural and was good for a flex line.

"With psychotic feelings pop in the building...
...It's safe to say I'm back..."

Are you?

My critique is shaded by my lack of interest in these type of pieces, but I can still recognize a truly dope flex or swag and flow piece when I see one. This seemed like flex by numbers. I vaguely recall you being a good writer, so I expect more in your next drop.

[Zen]

Rusty for sure man but appreciate the feed.

[PancakeBrah]

idk what that means

[Zen]

That I'm rusty. I'll return feed on one of your drops tomorrow I'm fucking drunk right now

[PancakeBrah]

Me too. But how are you rusty at writing?

[Zen]

Ain't wrote in like four months. Just lost interest for awhile.

[PancakeBrah]

Did you think about words?

[Zen]

Now that I think of it, I didn't. I probably should have but I didn't.

[PancakeBrah]

Word.

[Zombie]

Maybe you are rusty, but I enjoy attempts.

[Zombie]

This wasn't bad at all, though.

[CopyPat]

ZEN! yo!! i liked this man... rapid fire fuck u kinda shit hahaha. well done. nothing super original as far as scheming or whatever but it still had complexity and slowed smooth, i could dig more of these for sure. good one. welcome back. hit up cypher section too its dope in there