Week 1 - vividlyvague vs. Innovator - VIVIDLYVAGUE WINS 4-0

Mike Wrecka · 09-20-2013, 08:22 PM

Season 2

Rules

Verse Due Date - Thursday 23:59 PST

Voting Deadline - Sunday 23:59 PST

Line Limits - 16 - 48 Max can be higher if both agree

Voting - Must vote on 3 battles and post voting links in this thread , preferably edit it in the check in

If you don't vote on 3 battle you will be given a loss
If you lose by votes and don't vote on other battles you receive a one week suspension

Topic

Good Luck @Vividlyvague @Innovator

Inno · 09-20-2013, 10:17 PM

In

e11even · 09-21-2013, 07:32 AM

http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=19405
http://netcees.co/showthread.php?p=1...d=1#post160895
http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=19702

e11even · 09-25-2013, 06:34 PM

Ascension… any such with plenty rough edges that splinter up endings?
The floating demons, trussed, seen sinking up…when brimstone’s THIS ceiling.
Baron, this mistress called Life…not so mysterious the mischief caused.
Misfits ‘volved missed this call- yet this was all right.
They linger as the ends gift calls knights.
Accept- for this is the shift split all nights.
Eternal as a lasting vacuum that sips, strips broad heights...
til in its end sense, spends us all, sprites.
Tatters in trail... matters of afters in rafters farewelled.
Calls of captor forbode, but entailed...as the wilderness grows arms, these raptors tore hell...
...not a trip easily traversed.
For what you see is a glympse in a sea of whats worse.
to seed in this disease of visual unease is of feat, and a curse.
Whereas you'd embody a void that not only destroys, but believes in its worth.
So follow to lead... where shadows in this hollow of trees swallow the leaves...
arched crankiness the shapes in this dank... to be drank in and weazed.
Thickness the stench, with uncomfortable viscosity achieved...
fallings and flyings... living the dyings, oh the velocity of these.
sights even seen by blind through blinds of bound flesh... that predicament a tease.
steps taken, shaken... buckling...waning,the pleasure in knees.
How would one be decided on exit??? neither a treasure, neither a nexus.
Neither a medal to be attached to a necklace... yet both worn and vet us.
The warned, collected... combat for a position awaits...
as the formerly formidable adrift, grip the underside of unaware slates.
Charron's song lingers in the suffocated air through all tiers in this place...
A smooth facade this fog that cloaks the perils resident to this infinite space.
Some call it, "where you go when you have no place to..."
Reaching through the very gaps in indefinite time, they look to take you.
Claws of pain and anguish felt through ebon fingerless grasps break through.
This obstacle stalling a bliss or misery, further sin or ministry... your undone story...
And so the war begins for your soul, along this fraying bridge of purgatory...

Inno · 09-26-2013, 11:09 PM

cumbersome copperbot
outcasted in halves with the have not's
spread equally amongst vagrants - shame
there is no variant
no golden chariots for the coward lost
only stones and flowered plots
those at odds…copperbot found solace in.
his actions concrete...each choice a solid sin
sure of being unsure he was a master of it
a king of fraud, mastering doctored traits
an offered bait to those who couldn’t afford to wait
a taste so fake, he never believes what he creates
for the poision is yours to intake
looking for shoe ins, always a foot in a foot out
copperbot was clever to deceive his cowardice
those that fell for his lies where left powerless
his shady prowess was ravenous without end
bravery by association, heroism from disengagement
a distant soldier, from a far he fights the war
tending to wounds he never earns…
kicking boots with borrowed spurs
leaving seas of tears and soured shores

cumbersome copperbot no one survives his onslaught
even in after thought his sting lingers along and rots
if you've been burned the flames still scorn
after decades the scars seem like they’ve not worn
a tan that never heels, a chasing pain that never peels
out of tune and out of rhythm with his fellow peers
he plays his instruments to those who dare to hear
laying beside you with your thoughts as his dreams
your wants are his schemes….your life his to redeem
disconnected from those he loves… yet hes a leech
spewing venom with a rhetoric made blasphemous speech
a hazardous creep...
answers to no god…sacrilegious indeed.

His purpose? Creating ignorance in those who lead
Creating barriers for those who are led like sheep
Topping freedom when freedom is abundant
Closing eyes and deeming opening them redundant.

A definition of fear he personifies.
Leaving you broken and cast aside
Choking like breathing in pesticide
A fear of crossing bridges
And getting lost in between the ropes stitching

Do not give in.

Zen · 09-27-2013, 01:48 PM

Another dope battle.

Vivid- Very dope showing. I can tell from this piece you could up surprising some people this season. Excellent inner rhymes created a flow that was slick as hell. Very impressive. The story progression seemed to be lacking a bit in my opinion but your style made this a very interesting read. Good drop.

Inno- Nice. One of the best pieces I've read from you. The beginning set up the scene very well but what made this piece really stick out to me were the 'out of tune' lines to the very end. Very cool reading that shit and it was slick man. Great showing.

This battle is a tough one to vote on and I think it's pretty close. Although Inno's my boy I gotta give my vote to Vivid on this one. Great battle and this could go either way.

Mike Wrecka · 09-28-2013, 09:18 AM

ok cool battle. two very different takes on the picture.

vivid - you have a definite unique style to your stuff man. which is a compliment. your not a clone. your stuff is different which I like , its refreshing. this verse was kinda abstract. tbh ive read it once and im not really sure what its about. you described the picture and the feeling it gives someone looking at it quite well though.
you had some really stand out lines that impressed me like

So follow to lead... where shadows in this hollow of trees swallow the leaves...

that was awesome

A smooth facade this fog that cloaks the perils resident to this infinite space.

so was that. overall, try to focus your thoughts a bit more. and build on ideas with more than just a line. like describe that fog more, use another few lines to tell us about it. that's what you are missing to me. good verse though

inno - this was unlike your usual style. you went more for a poetic vibe, which is not who you are as a writer from the stuff ive previously read from you. the problem with poetic verses is that they seem simple in structure often. and this leaned towards that. I liked the storytelling aspect though. but tbh you didn't incorporate the picture in any way until the last line. unless im just missing something which is possible. but if i am missing the overall arching theme of this piece and how it relates to a bridge i would say that you made it too obscure. you tied it in at the end but it didn't really do much for me. like this verse could have been written for a different topic that was no showed and then you added the last line to relate it to a bridge. not saying you did that but ya . it was solid though don't get me wrong. I appreciated it for what it was. but I have to say that you tried a new style and for me, it didn't work. sorry broski . we are still bffs but this week I have to go with

vote - vividly vague

good battle guys thanks for the reads

Mike Wrecka · 09-29-2013, 12:07 PM

up

Mr. J · 09-29-2013, 05:47 PM

This battle was quite interesting...especially since I can't see the picture
Regardless I will go off instinct of flow mechanics and such...not flow persay...
but the progress of each piece..
Vivid kept the rhyme scheme very interesting from my POV
which in turn kept the piece weaved together nicely
the imagery added a pep in ypur step unseen from your OMs
making it enjoyable because you presented a strong piece
which I did enjoy
Innovator...you brpught a very poetic vibe to your writing
Which was nice it seemed simple but complex in what you brought
it had a different style of linguistics...maybe that's not the right word
but you kept the focus on your topic and it shone thrpugh
not to the same degree as your opponent...the styles clash here
which is great when it comes to battles in leagues such as this
to be honest...I feel both brought a different type of vibe to the league
as far as my vote goes Ima have to give it to someone....
and that makes it tough because both of ypu are unique in style
I feel that even though Innovator brpught a nice piece it wasn't fulfilled
it didn't have that cherry on top but I know you will progress
so.......my vpte goes to Vivid

YDK · 09-30-2013, 12:31 AM

This was dope as fuck with the contrasting styles lol
vivid yours was a very strong verse technically speaking complex schemes good vocab but the story itself suffered ever so slightly because of it.
inno you also had a strong verse but more on the story line an other types of techniques. The story stood out to me because of the repetition and poetic style you incorporated.
Both were great drops just complete opposites lol
Normally I would go with the poetic drop because of personal preference but vicissitudes drop was so sound technical use I gotta vote for him this time.
Good shit guys

09-20-2013, 08:22 PM	#1
Mike Wrecka WOW Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,591 Battle Record: 29-25 Champed - Writing Challenge League I Rep Power: 82779338	Week 1 - vividlyvague vs. Innovator - VIVIDLYVAGUE WINS 4-0 Season 2 Rules Verse Due Date - Thursday 23:59 PST Voting Deadline - Sunday 23:59 PST Line Limits - 16 - 48 Max can be higher if both agree Voting - Must vote on 3 battles and post voting links in this thread , preferably edit it in the check in If you don't vote on 3 battle you will be given a loss If you lose by votes and don't vote on other battles you receive a one week suspension Topic Good Luck @Vividlyvague @Innovator __________________ A.bove T.he R.est Last edited by Certain; 09-27-2013 at 03:00 AM.

09-21-2013, 07:32 AM	#3
e11even V.V Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: . Posts: 2,076 Battle Record: 31-20 Rep Power: 6247259	http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=19405 http://netcees.co/showthread.php?p=1...d=1#post160895 http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=19702 __________________ Ahem. Last edited by e11even; 09-29-2013 at 01:43 AM.

09-25-2013, 06:34 PM	#4
e11even V.V Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: . Posts: 2,076 Battle Record: 31-20 Rep Power: 6247259	cross at your suspense... Ascension… any such with plenty rough edges that splinter up endings? The floating demons, trussed, seen sinking up…when brimstone’s THIS ceiling. Baron, this mistress called Life…not so mysterious the mischief caused. Misfits ‘volved missed this call- yet this was all right. They linger as the ends gift calls knights. Accept- for this is the shift split all nights. Eternal as a lasting vacuum that sips, strips broad heights... til in its end sense, spends us all, sprites. Tatters in trail... matters of afters in rafters farewelled. Calls of captor forbode, but entailed...as the wilderness grows arms, these raptors tore hell... ...not a trip easily traversed. For what you see is a glympse in a sea of whats worse. to seed in this disease of visual unease is of feat, and a curse. Whereas you'd embody a void that not only destroys, but believes in its worth. So follow to lead... where shadows in this hollow of trees swallow the leaves... arched crankiness the shapes in this dank... to be drank in and weazed. Thickness the stench, with uncomfortable viscosity achieved... fallings and flyings... living the dyings, oh the velocity of these. sights even seen by blind through blinds of bound flesh... that predicament a tease. steps taken, shaken... buckling...waning,the pleasure in knees. How would one be decided on exit??? neither a treasure, neither a nexus. Neither a medal to be attached to a necklace... yet both worn and vet us. The warned, collected... combat for a position awaits... as the formerly formidable adrift, grip the underside of unaware slates. Charron's song lingers in the suffocated air through all tiers in this place... A smooth facade this fog that cloaks the perils resident to this infinite space. Some call it, "where you go when you have no place to..." Reaching through the very gaps in indefinite time, they look to take you. Claws of pain and anguish felt through ebon fingerless grasps break through. This obstacle stalling a bliss or misery, further sin or ministry... your undone story... And so the war begins for your soul, along this fraying bridge of purgatory... __________________ Ahem. Last edited by e11even; 09-26-2013 at 02:20 AM. Reason: spacing, font, grammar.

09-26-2013, 11:09 PM	#5
Inno Ad mini tator Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 10,025 Battle Record: 26-54 Champed - Lime Green Poetry Association - Black August - 1-2 Punch League Rep Power: 85899403	cumbersome copperbot outcasted in halves with the have not's spread equally amongst vagrants - shame there is no variant no golden chariots for the coward lost only stones and flowered plots those at odds…copperbot found solace in. his actions concrete...each choice a solid sin sure of being unsure he was a master of it a king of fraud, mastering doctored traits an offered bait to those who couldn’t afford to wait a taste so fake, he never believes what he creates for the poision is yours to intake looking for shoe ins, always a foot in a foot out copperbot was clever to deceive his cowardice those that fell for his lies where left powerless his shady prowess was ravenous without end bravery by association, heroism from disengagement a distant soldier, from a far he fights the war tending to wounds he never earns… kicking boots with borrowed spurs leaving seas of tears and soured shores cumbersome copperbot no one survives his onslaught even in after thought his sting lingers along and rots if you've been burned the flames still scorn after decades the scars seem like they’ve not worn a tan that never heels, a chasing pain that never peels out of tune and out of rhythm with his fellow peers he plays his instruments to those who dare to hear laying beside you with your thoughts as his dreams your wants are his schemes….your life his to redeem disconnected from those he loves… yet hes a leech spewing venom with a rhetoric made blasphemous speech a hazardous creep... answers to no god…sacrilegious indeed. His purpose? Creating ignorance in those who lead Creating barriers for those who are led like sheep Topping freedom when freedom is abundant Closing eyes and deeming opening them redundant. A definition of fear he personifies. Leaving you broken and cast aside Choking like breathing in pesticide A fear of crossing bridges And getting lost in between the ropes stitching Do not give in. Last edited by Inno; 09-26-2013 at 11:52 PM.

09-28-2013, 09:18 AM	#7
Mike Wrecka WOW Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,591 Battle Record: 29-25 Champed - Writing Challenge League I Rep Power: 82779338	ok cool battle. two very different takes on the picture. vivid - you have a definite unique style to your stuff man. which is a compliment. your not a clone. your stuff is different which I like , its refreshing. this verse was kinda abstract. tbh ive read it once and im not really sure what its about. you described the picture and the feeling it gives someone looking at it quite well though. you had some really stand out lines that impressed me like So follow to lead... where shadows in this hollow of trees swallow the leaves... that was awesome A smooth facade this fog that cloaks the perils resident to this infinite space. so was that. overall, try to focus your thoughts a bit more. and build on ideas with more than just a line. like describe that fog more, use another few lines to tell us about it. that's what you are missing to me. good verse though inno - this was unlike your usual style. you went more for a poetic vibe, which is not who you are as a writer from the stuff ive previously read from you. the problem with poetic verses is that they seem simple in structure often. and this leaned towards that. I liked the storytelling aspect though. but tbh you didn't incorporate the picture in any way until the last line. unless im just missing something which is possible. but if i am missing the overall arching theme of this piece and how it relates to a bridge i would say that you made it too obscure. you tied it in at the end but it didn't really do much for me. like this verse could have been written for a different topic that was no showed and then you added the last line to relate it to a bridge. not saying you did that but ya . it was solid though don't get me wrong. I appreciated it for what it was. but I have to say that you tried a new style and for me, it didn't work. sorry broski . we are still bffs but this week I have to go with vote - vividly vague good battle guys thanks for the reads __________________ A.bove T.he R.est

09-20-2013, 10:17 PM	#2
Inno Ad mini tator Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 10,025 Battle Record: 26-54 Champed - Lime Green Poetry Association - Black August - 1-2 Punch League Rep Power: 85899403	In

09-27-2013, 01:48 PM	#6
Zen Arm the Homeless Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,102 Battle Record: 22-24 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 35079722	Another dope battle. Vivid- Very dope showing. I can tell from this piece you could up surprising some people this season. Excellent inner rhymes created a flow that was slick as hell. Very impressive. The story progression seemed to be lacking a bit in my opinion but your style made this a very interesting read. Good drop. Inno- Nice. One of the best pieces I've read from you. The beginning set up the scene very well but what made this piece really stick out to me were the 'out of tune' lines to the very end. Very cool reading that shit and it was slick man. Great showing. This battle is a tough one to vote on and I think it's pretty close. Although Inno's my boy I gotta give my vote to Vivid on this one. Great battle and this could go either way.

09-29-2013, 12:07 PM	#8
Mike Wrecka WOW Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,591 Battle Record: 29-25 Champed - Writing Challenge League I Rep Power: 82779338	up __________________ A.bove T.he R.est

09-29-2013, 05:47 PM	#9
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	This battle was quite interesting...especially since I can't see the picture Regardless I will go off instinct of flow mechanics and such...not flow persay... but the progress of each piece.. Vivid kept the rhyme scheme very interesting from my POV which in turn kept the piece weaved together nicely the imagery added a pep in ypur step unseen from your OMs making it enjoyable because you presented a strong piece which I did enjoy Innovator...you brpught a very poetic vibe to your writing Which was nice it seemed simple but complex in what you brought it had a different style of linguistics...maybe that's not the right word but you kept the focus on your topic and it shone thrpugh not to the same degree as your opponent...the styles clash here which is great when it comes to battles in leagues such as this to be honest...I feel both brought a different type of vibe to the league as far as my vote goes Ima have to give it to someone.... and that makes it tough because both of ypu are unique in style I feel that even though Innovator brpught a nice piece it wasn't fulfilled it didn't have that cherry on top but I know you will progress so.......my vpte goes to Vivid __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

09-30-2013, 12:31 AM	#10
YDK ghost in the matrix Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: Covington, KY Posts: 4,563 Battle Record: 14-25 Champed - Art of Writing League (x2) - Lime Green Poetry Association Rep Power: 8181112	This was dope as fuck with the contrasting styles lol vivid yours was a very strong verse technically speaking complex schemes good vocab but the story itself suffered ever so slightly because of it. inno you also had a strong verse but more on the story line an other types of techniques. The story stood out to me because of the repetition and poetic style you incorporated. Both were great drops just complete opposites lol Normally I would go with the poetic drop because of personal preference but vicissitudes drop was so sound technical use I gotta vote for him this time. Good shit guys __________________