Week 1: Flow vs Incredible FLOW WINS

Flow · 03-18-2019, 10:34 AM

Week One

You all know the rules, but if you need reminding go look at the thread.

DUE THURSDAY

@Flow
@Incredible

*The 1-2 league and it's mini LR league are one bar Vs one bar.*

Flow · 03-19-2019, 08:34 AM

Good luck g

Flow · 03-19-2019, 11:40 AM

Your life is like a snow globe of a Christmas from the past
only see the family home from the outside staring in through the glass

Incredible · 03-19-2019, 11:16 PM

Looking forward to that grudge match, forgot why u mad bro?...riiight the DQ
Didn't beat jesus freak, u'll meet again soon...when I split ya Red Sea all the way back from the EU!

zelti · 03-20-2019, 05:07 AM

Flow - lmao solid punch, hilarious. Cool concept and a personal that hit nice, it’s easy for that concept to be played by now but you twisted it nicely.

Incredible - this actually wasn’t a bad punch, good execution but the second line was a tad by wordy and took away from the overall punch.

Vote Flow

Jabari Black · 03-20-2019, 07:50 AM

Lmao ayo Flow that punch was dope af. Punch was funny af, the flip was clean af, the wording was crisp and precise. Yeah this was dope - no critiques from me.

Inc, not taking anything away from your prior work, but this is EASILY the best concept I’ve seen from you. Went for a really complex bar, weaving in the Bible/Jesus/Veritas concept with the Red C/EU concept.

I think the word associate alone is dope. When you get the the execution, there’s some wording issues though. The Red Sea/RedC flip doesn’t really relate back to Flow well, and if I does it’s not clear based on wording. So like with that wording it’s not clear what splitting his red c means for the shooting flow meaning. Same thing with from the EU. It plays on the RedC concept but in terms of the shooting flow meaning, does it mean you shoot him in Europe, shoot him from Europe, etc?

Overall, I love the concept, liked the bar. I think you’re growing as a writer and with a little more experience, you’d have been able to flip this into a nasty triple entendre.

Anyways, dope battle. Inc coulda caught a lot of people slipping with his bar, but Lars was in his bag this week.

Mvgt Flow

Blas · 03-20-2019, 09:10 AM

flows bar was cool, the concept was also very creative which makes it even better

increds bar wasn't bad, concept was ok the connection was just kinda meh tbh and it could have been worded a bit better

v/ flow but both came reasonably fine

Lenox · 03-20-2019, 11:04 AM

Flows was pretty straight forward but I fucked with it. Family looking threw the glass was dope
Didn’t like incredible’s execution with EU. Def needed to be reworded

FLOW

DynamiCz · 03-20-2019, 01:30 PM

Your life is like a snow globe of a Christmas from the past
only see the family home from the outside staring in through the glass

Incred the homie, but boy when I say this bar had me dying laughing for a good 5 mins. Lmao this shit was direct, funny, and very harsh. Good shit Flow(lmao at JB saying Lars was in his bag)

-------

Looking forward to that grudge match, forgot why u mad bro?...riiight the DQ
Didn't beat jesus freak, u'll meet again soon...when I split ya Red Sea all the way back from the EU!

Bro this was nice, wording just a bit stretched here which made the execution not hit hard as it should. Def wasn't a bad bar tho

Good shit to both, but Flow took this one here

BodySnatcher · 03-20-2019, 01:56 PM

My vote goes to Flow. That shit was dope juice. Incred also had a good bar but it could have been cleaned up a bit to hit harder.

Barcotic · 03-20-2019, 02:04 PM

flow
lol simple but funny, tbh i had to look around a bit for it to click. overall bar is slick tho, great wording

inc
wording was stretched out & the concept was awk.

v/flow

Suthaveli · 03-20-2019, 02:47 PM

Read flow bar yesterday & laughed. Read it again & same results.
Incredible bar wasn't that bad though. I'm seeing improvement in yo since I've last peeped his shit.
But flow had me so he gmv.

Vote flow

Miss Netcees · 03-20-2019, 02:53 PM

both punchlines great I like flow Punchlines more it made me laugh

Resin M-I-C · 03-20-2019, 03:08 PM

Inc man ur execution took away from a pretty decent punch, 25 syllables without an internal scheme is alot bro

flow was creative, had humor and it read very clean

v flow

sral · 03-22-2019, 05:35 AM

i'm not gonna vote for obv reasons but Inc has been improving lately tbh

i see you

Plot · 03-24-2019, 04:23 AM

V-Flow for the personal.
Incs punch was confusing, Im still not sure what the Red Sea bit means

Flow · 03-24-2019, 06:42 AM

Flow Wins 11 0

03-20-2019, 01:30 PM	#9
DynamiCz ..GunbaR MessiaH.. Join Date: Jan 2018 Location: GuN RanGe Posts: 762 Battle Record: 16-10 Champed - Battle Arena League Rep Power: 9829181	Your life is like a snow globe of a Christmas from the past only see the family home from the outside staring in through the glass Incred the homie, but boy when I say this bar had me dying laughing for a good 5 mins. Lmao this shit was direct, funny, and very harsh. Good shit Flow(lmao at JB saying Lars was in his bag) ------- Looking forward to that grudge match, forgot why u mad bro?...riiight the DQ Didn't beat jesus freak, u'll meet again soon...when I split ya Red Sea all the way back from the EU! Bro this was nice, wording just a bit stretched here which made the execution not hit hard as it should. Def wasn't a bad bar tho Good shit to both, but Flow took this one here __________________ ...ThA New ErA...

03-20-2019, 02:04 PM	#11
Barcotic Needs no introduction Join Date: Mar 2016 Location: Toronto Posts: 4,496 Battle Record: 29-31 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - Survivor Tournament - Pros vs. Joes - Key Grand Prix - Fight Night XX - NBL Tag Team - NBL Picture League - Battle Arena - Battle Arena Pics - BA Tag Team (2x) - 1-2 Punch League (2x) - BAL Battle Royale - NPL Roast Rep Power: 3061968	flow lol simple but funny, tbh i had to look around a bit for it to click. overall bar is slick tho, great wording inc wording was stretched out & the concept was awk. v/flow __________________ Dummies finna die if they coming into mine boastin Twin glocks'll spark. Waterpark; everybody running when the slides open

03-20-2019, 03:08 PM	#14
Resin M-I-C Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2015 Posts: 734 Battle Record: 33-9 Champed - 1-2 Punch Onslaught II - Tag Team Tournament V - 1-2 Punch Season III - Netcees SOL - Battle Arena - SOL Season I - NBL Season XIV - Netcees Battle League Rep Power: 8150231	Inc man ur execution took away from a pretty decent punch, 25 syllables without an internal scheme is alot bro flow was creative, had humor and it read very clean v flow __________________ C. O. B.

03-22-2019, 05:35 AM	#15
sral LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: CRUMPETVILLE Posts: 8,605 Battle Record: 28-3 Champed - Gimmick Battle League - The Winter Topical - Topical Martyrs - Lime Green Poetry Association - Lyric Olympics - Art of Writing League - Guerrilla Writing League (2x) - Black August II Rep Power: 85899396	i'm not gonna vote for obv reasons but Inc has been improving lately tbh i see you __________________ - Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)

03-19-2019, 11:16 PM	#4
Incredible Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2016 Posts: 1,484 Battle Record: 6-15 Rep Power: 25972895	Looking forward to that grudge match, forgot why u mad bro?...riiight the DQ Didn't beat jesus freak, u'll meet again soon...when I split ya Red Sea all the way back from the EU!

03-20-2019, 05:07 AM	#5
zelti Senior Member Join Date: May 2016 Posts: 346 Rep Power: 0	Flow - lmao solid punch, hilarious. Cool concept and a personal that hit nice, it’s easy for that concept to be played by now but you twisted it nicely. Incredible - this actually wasn’t a bad punch, good execution but the second line was a tad by wordy and took away from the overall punch. Vote Flow

03-20-2019, 07:50 AM	#6
Jabari Black Sun Tzu Join Date: Mar 2018 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 550 Battle Record: 13-6 Champed - Battle Arena League - 1-2 Punch League - Netcees Battle League - Netcees SOL Rep Power: 12764499	Lmao ayo Flow that punch was dope af. Punch was funny af, the flip was clean af, the wording was crisp and precise. Yeah this was dope - no critiques from me. Inc, not taking anything away from your prior work, but this is EASILY the best concept I’ve seen from you. Went for a really complex bar, weaving in the Bible/Jesus/Veritas concept with the Red C/EU concept. I think the word associate alone is dope. When you get the the execution, there’s some wording issues though. The Red Sea/RedC flip doesn’t really relate back to Flow well, and if I does it’s not clear based on wording. So like with that wording it’s not clear what splitting his red c means for the shooting flow meaning. Same thing with from the EU. It plays on the RedC concept but in terms of the shooting flow meaning, does it mean you shoot him in Europe, shoot him from Europe, etc? Overall, I love the concept, liked the bar. I think you’re growing as a writer and with a little more experience, you’d have been able to flip this into a nasty triple entendre. Anyways, dope battle. Inc coulda caught a lot of people slipping with his bar, but Lars was in his bag this week. Mvgt Flow

03-20-2019, 09:10 AM	#7
Blas BesT™ Join Date: Feb 2019 Posts: 597 Rep Power: 1628184	flows bar was cool, the concept was also very creative which makes it even better increds bar wasn't bad, concept was ok the connection was just kinda meh tbh and it could have been worded a bit better v/ flow but both came reasonably fine

03-20-2019, 01:56 PM	#10
BodySnatcher Hail Mary Haymakers Join Date: Mar 2018 Location: You know where I be at Posts: 1,785 Battle Record: 17-7 Champed - BAL Roast - Battle Arena League - BAL Season Champ Rep Power: 3840899	My vote goes to Flow. That shit was dope juice. Incred also had a good bar but it could have been cleaned up a bit to hit harder.

03-20-2019, 02:47 PM	#12
Suthaveli Prayers won't help. Join Date: Nov 2013 Location: Baltimore, Md Posts: 851 Battle Record: 7-9 Rep Power: 16534023	Read flow bar yesterday & laughed. Read it again & same results. Incredible bar wasn't that bad though. I'm seeing improvement in yo since I've last peeped his shit. But flow had me so he gmv. Vote flow

03-20-2019, 02:53 PM	#13
Miss Netcees Netcees's Hottest lady <3 Join Date: Mar 2019 Posts: 99 Rep Power: 335418	both punchlines great I like flow Punchlines more it made me laugh

03-24-2019, 04:23 AM	#16
Plot Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 1,374 Battle Record: 26-32 Rep Power: 1309744	V-Flow for the personal. Incs punch was confusing, Im still not sure what the Red Sea bit means