At A Friends House For Dinner

Mr. J · 12-30-2017, 02:39 AM

Medicated armadillo rolling in & out of perspective
look at me like, for real doe, Im standing out like EXIT
leaving folks shook like Jello, this is a whole head trip.
imagine where your legs sit when you trying to test this.
delivery of the feeling when the message from FedEx sets in.
what sinks in tends to leave you sleeping on ya best friend.
it upsets me that folks pass out over a hallmark..
laptop in the armoire logged into what we all are.
Chihuahua with a leash on the collar, we walk on.
forget whatever these small pups continue to drop...awww..
Parakeet petrified by the high that I carry with me.
but I know I cant compare it to a parrot now can we?
a pair of parodies that joke about this pair of kidneys.
they share adjacent houses on 6th street & bicker over 6 feet.
Odds are they may be the most confused of all we know inside
imagine how much we throw aside especially in the bones of thighs
so next time you kick the bucket make sure you check the limb
give those leftovers a second whiff, microwaved for seconds...
zen...the feeling is better than what used to be acceptable.
last night I would have had a side dish, but this is what Im presenting you.

Diablo · 12-30-2017, 04:04 PM

LOL

The start of this read so completely differently to the second half to me. I liked the standing out like Exit line at the beginning, then the compare it/parrot wordplay but really the final 6-8 lines are way better than the mid-section here. It seemed you schemed more and it came together more naturally, almost organic andjust rolled off the pen, while the middle section seemed to be you pushing through the writers block somewhat and just writing to get passed it - that's what I do at least.

This was J shaking the rust off. Keep that pen moving!

12-30-2017, 02:39 AM	#1
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	At A Friends House For Dinner Medicated armadillo rolling in & out of perspective look at me like, for real doe, Im standing out like EXIT leaving folks shook like Jello, this is a whole head trip. imagine where your legs sit when you trying to test this. delivery of the feeling when the message from FedEx sets in. what sinks in tends to leave you sleeping on ya best friend. it upsets me that folks pass out over a hallmark.. laptop in the armoire logged into what we all are. Chihuahua with a leash on the collar, we walk on. forget whatever these small pups continue to drop...awww.. Parakeet petrified by the high that I carry with me. but I know I cant compare it to a parrot now can we? a pair of parodies that joke about this pair of kidneys. they share adjacent houses on 6th street & bicker over 6 feet. Odds are they may be the most confused of all we know inside imagine how much we throw aside especially in the bones of thighs so next time you kick the bucket make sure you check the limb give those leftovers a second whiff, microwaved for seconds... zen...the feeling is better than what used to be acceptable. last night I would have had a side dish, but this is what Im presenting you. __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

12-30-2017, 04:04 PM	#2
Diablo Badgerdick Join Date: Jul 2015 Location: Showdown City Posts: 2,633 Battle Record: 11-2 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 22685552	LOL The start of this read so completely differently to the second half to me. I liked the standing out like Exit line at the beginning, then the compare it/parrot wordplay but really the final 6-8 lines are way better than the mid-section here. It seemed you schemed more and it came together more naturally, almost organic andjust rolled off the pen, while the middle section seemed to be you pushing through the writers block somewhat and just writing to get passed it - that's what I do at least. This was J shaking the rust off. Keep that pen moving!