Mone!

ACTIVATE SELF · 12-25-2017, 04:51 PM

Topical Battle Verse
Topic: Biome/Desert
Lines: 20-60

Man Of No Ego!

"... so was it "magic" or drugs? Shrooms and acid or bud?
What the cat got your tongue? Cos your acting like ..."

"Hush! Stop that racket and trust that there's magic in us!"

"Well, the fact that you just made it back after months ..
of hunting in the desert with a quack! I mean monk .."

"He's a shaman .. sis you're dumb! Listen Charlotte
shit I'm done with explaining what it was ..."

"Okay, Roger I'll succumb, I won't jump to conclusions
or assume you're on drugs"

"Well, I'll tell you just because, but don't you interrupt,
bite your tongue and zip it up as I take you on a journey
that's forbidden to discuss! But fuck it buckle up!"

It begins with a drum and a hum in the wind
that was coming from a hut made of mud and of brick
that was dried in the sun for at least one hundred cycles
such a primative construction if you judged it on arrival
as I walked I slung my rifle right over my right shoulder
and the closer that I trudged I could smell a fire smolder
as a row of desert rodents slowly roasted in the open
next to half a dozen cans of corroded Coca~Cola ...
that had rusted in the sand, which was orange
as tangerines ... it was gorgeous as a dream
but all scenery aside I was scortching in the heat
it was 43 degrees and that's Celsius indeed ...
I was desperately in need of some shelter and relief!

...That's when I heard em speak ...

"You're welcome to a drink", said a dusty old voice
as the drum beating ceased, "come in and take a seat"
I proceeded as instructed, propped my rifle by the door
his interior was rustic, filled with stuff from tribal wars
such as spears & bow & arrows from "the time of dinosaurs"
or so that's what he told me as his spotted hands poured ...

"You've come to hunt the beast that no man has ever killed
thus you've voyaged overseas in the hopes you will fulfill ...
the dream of every hunter from the jungle made of steel
and though you lack the build I will help you on your quest ...
to prove you have the skill, but you truly need some rest"

And in that very second I felt woozy and exhausted ...
as the room started moving I had quickly gone unconscious
cos the juice that he offered was some sort of concoction
Of a hypnotic tonic and Australian Iowaska

I awoke inside a cave next to faces on the wall
what I saw was awfully strange like a painting that could talk
and an ancient illustration of a saber come to life
as a stick figure tribe tried to kill it with their knives!
While at the same time there was humming in my ears
it was coming from the entrance where the sunlight made it clear
I was somewhere in the desert but the atmosphere was weird
as a technicolored cloud rained down atoms trapped in tears
as the ground cracked open and the shaman reappeared ...
100 feet tall with a gold encrusted spear!

"I have spoken with the spirits and their judgement is supreme
instead of hunting what you covet you'll become the hunted beast!
Until you understand that you're just a puzzle piece
and the purpose of all life is to find a subtle peace!"

What happened after that is a story for the ages
and I'll tell it when I'm settled but for now I need a blanket
the journey was intense and I'm tired from the trip ...
I retire then I drift ... back ... to that simple hut
in the middle of the desert where I still hear the drums!

...BADUMMMMMMM...

Eŋg · 12-25-2017, 04:56 PM

post a few more pieces.

ACTIVATE SELF · 12-25-2017, 05:07 PM

Thanks for the encouragement, Eng. I was thinking eh 26 or 27 ish would do the trick.

Eŋg · 12-26-2017, 05:42 PM

do you.

you can write.

ain't no one reading a dozen pieces at once from the same dude. least i'm not.

big baby · 12-26-2017, 06:30 PM

i would if it was a top 5 guy and if they weren't already written. years ago

ACTIVATE SELF · 12-26-2017, 08:45 PM

Lol. It's all good. You dudes got talent. It's your site. I'm really just trolling/flooding cause nobody writes or feed shits shit in this forum. Big Baby I got some feed for one of your pieces and Eng I got you on your next drop.

dead man · 12-26-2017, 09:35 PM

please don't flood this place, it is more off-putting than anything. i won't delete your posts but i'd really prefer not to see 20 of your old verses taking up the entire first page of the OM.

your feedback on other pieces is in-depth and genuine, which i appreciate, and i'll gladly drop some comments on your work but your intentions behind posting all these are kind of shitty.

you can say you're trying to drum up activity or views for this part of the site but it comes off as obnoxious and self-serving, especially when it's all at once like this

ACTIVATE SELF · 12-27-2017, 09:05 AM

I got ya, bro. All excellent points.

Geno · 12-28-2017, 08:56 PM

Self da gawd.
I dont think he meant no disrespect. I get the mentioned points tho. Dont stray away self

ACTIVATE SELF · 12-28-2017, 10:26 PM

Ahhhh it's all good, fam. I'm not trippin in the least bit.

12-25-2017, 04:51 PM	#1
ACTIVATE SELF Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2017 Posts: 783 Battle Record: 2-1 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 19584278	Mone! Topical Battle Verse Topic: Biome/Desert Lines: 20-60 *Man Of No Ego!* "... so was it "magic" or drugs? Shrooms and acid or bud? What the cat got your tongue? Cos your acting like ..." "Hush! Stop that racket and trust that there's magic in us!" "Well, the fact that you just made it back after months .. of hunting in the desert with a quack! I mean monk .." "He's a shaman .. sis you're dumb! Listen Charlotte shit I'm done with explaining what it was ..." "Okay, Roger I'll succumb, I won't jump to conclusions or assume you're on drugs" "Well, I'll tell you just because, but don't you interrupt, bite your tongue and zip it up as I take you on a journey that's forbidden to discuss! But fuck it buckle up!" It begins with a drum and a hum in the wind that was coming from a hut made of mud and of brick that was dried in the sun for at least one hundred cycles such a primative construction if you judged it on arrival as I walked I slung my rifle right over my right shoulder and the closer that I trudged I could smell a fire smolder as a row of desert rodents slowly roasted in the open next to half a dozen cans of corroded Coca~Cola ... that had rusted in the sand, which was orange as tangerines ... it was gorgeous as a dream but all scenery aside I was scortching in the heat it was 43 degrees and that's Celsius indeed ... I was desperately in need of some shelter and relief! ...That's when I heard em speak ... "You're welcome to a drink", said a dusty old voice as the drum beating ceased, "come in and take a seat" I proceeded as instructed, propped my rifle by the door his interior was rustic, filled with stuff from tribal wars such as spears & bow & arrows from "the time of dinosaurs" or so that's what he told me as his spotted hands poured ... "You've come to hunt the beast that no man has ever killed thus you've voyaged overseas in the hopes you will fulfill ... the dream of every hunter from the jungle made of steel and though you lack the build I will help you on your quest ... to prove you have the skill, but you truly need some rest" And in that very second I felt woozy and exhausted ... as the room started moving I had quickly gone unconscious cos the juice that he offered was some sort of concoction Of a hypnotic tonic and Australian Iowaska I awoke inside a cave next to faces on the wall what I saw was awfully strange like a painting that could talk and an ancient illustration of a saber come to life as a stick figure tribe tried to kill it with their knives! While at the same time there was humming in my ears it was coming from the entrance where the sunlight made it clear I was somewhere in the desert but the atmosphere was weird as a technicolored cloud rained down atoms trapped in tears as the ground cracked open and the shaman reappeared ... 100 feet tall with a gold encrusted spear! "I have spoken with the spirits and their judgement is supreme instead of hunting what you covet you'll become the hunted beast! Until you understand that you're just a puzzle piece and the purpose of all life is to find a subtle peace!" What happened after that is a story for the ages and I'll tell it when I'm settled but for now I need a blanket the journey was intense and I'm tired from the trip ... I retire then I drift ... back ... to that simple hut in the middle of the desert where I still hear the drums! *...BADUMMMMMMM...* Last edited by ACTIVATE SELF; 12-28-2017 at 11:52 PM.

12-25-2017, 05:07 PM	#3
ACTIVATE SELF Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2017 Posts: 783 Battle Record: 2-1 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 19584278	Thanks for the encouragement, Eng. I was thinking eh 26 or 27 ish would do the trick. Last edited by ACTIVATE SELF; 12-28-2017 at 10:16 PM.

12-26-2017, 09:35 PM	#7
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,485 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606679	please don't flood this place, it is more off-putting than anything. i won't delete your posts but i'd really prefer not to see 20 of your old verses taking up the entire first page of the OM. your feedback on other pieces is in-depth and genuine, which i appreciate, and i'll gladly drop some comments on your work but your intentions behind posting all these are kind of shitty. you can say you're trying to drum up activity or views for this part of the site but it comes off as obnoxious and self-serving, especially when it's all at once like this __________________ Zack Wicks for president

12-28-2017, 08:56 PM	#9
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,354 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036761	Self da gawd. I dont think he meant no disrespect. I get the mentioned points tho. Dont stray away self __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

12-25-2017, 04:56 PM	#2
Eŋg rhyme capsule. Join Date: Sep 2018 Posts: 2,150 Rep Power: 0	post a few more pieces.

12-26-2017, 05:42 PM	#4
Eŋg rhyme capsule. Join Date: Sep 2018 Posts: 2,150 Rep Power: 0	do you. you can write. ain't no one reading a dozen pieces at once from the same dude. least i'm not.

12-26-2017, 08:45 PM	#6
ACTIVATE SELF Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2017 Posts: 783 Battle Record: 2-1 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 19584278	Lol. It's all good. You dudes got talent. It's your site. I'm really just trolling/flooding cause nobody writes or feed shits shit in this forum. Big Baby I got some feed for one of your pieces and Eng I got you on your next drop.

12-27-2017, 09:05 AM	#8
ACTIVATE SELF Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2017 Posts: 783 Battle Record: 2-1 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 19584278	I got ya, bro. All excellent points.

12-28-2017, 10:26 PM	#10
ACTIVATE SELF Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2017 Posts: 783 Battle Record: 2-1 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 19584278	Ahhhh it's all good, fam. I'm not trippin in the least bit.