B, B, D, HK

Mr. J · 09-08-2016, 12:46 PM

Our lives intertwined as the vines to the vineyard.
simpler times for a simple mind raised in the winter
full grown domestication sitting at a full course dinner.
heart on the sleeve of this morose sinner...
patience growing thinner as the arm packs the furnace.
trophy wife, best friends with a well known taxidermist
alcoholic tendencies with a mind thats trapped with verses.
God forgives, as long as you confess that perversion...
spilled milk on stained carpet mixing with tear ducts
drinks made for two as yours is hitting where your ear was.
as the frame shatters so does the picture we paint
floorboards that bang & become littered with hate.
decency disappears while our embarrassment withers away
my gift at birth proceeds to work leaving your innards defaced
my diction is praised in awe, the art of a godly figure...
imagine how you benefit from this friendship....catching bodies...

Mr. J · 09-16-2016, 12:37 AM

So......you guys don't embrace friendships?

Exis · 10-01-2016, 06:59 AM

as the frame shatters so does the picture we paint
floorboards that bang & become littered with hate.
decency disappears while our embarrassment withers away
my gift at birth proceeds to work leaving your innards defaced
my diction is praised in awe, the art of a godly figure...

^^Liked that...

Hated the rest.

Mr. J · 11-08-2016, 12:54 PM

Hey...........thanks........

MMLP · 11-11-2016, 07:21 AM

I liked it, liked the message. Your flow is typically smooth, on point and easy to read.

the last part not rhyming I didn't like, loses fluency.

a nice, simple short verse

09-08-2016, 12:46 PM	#1
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	B, B, D, HK Our lives intertwined as the vines to the vineyard. simpler times for a simple mind raised in the winter full grown domestication sitting at a full course dinner. heart on the sleeve of this morose sinner... patience growing thinner as the arm packs the furnace. trophy wife, best friends with a well known taxidermist alcoholic tendencies with a mind thats trapped with verses. God forgives, as long as you confess that perversion... spilled milk on stained carpet mixing with tear ducts drinks made for two as yours is hitting where your ear was. as the frame shatters so does the picture we paint floorboards that bang & become littered with hate. decency disappears while our embarrassment withers away my gift at birth proceeds to work leaving your innards defaced my diction is praised in awe, the art of a godly figure... imagine how you benefit from this friendship....catching bodies... __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

09-16-2016, 12:37 AM	#2
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	So......you guys don't embrace friendships? __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

11-08-2016, 12:54 PM	#4
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	Hey...........thanks........ __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

10-01-2016, 06:59 AM	#3
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,934 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	as the frame shatters so does the picture we paint floorboards that bang & become littered with hate. decency disappears while our embarrassment withers away my gift at birth proceeds to work leaving your innards defaced my diction is praised in awe, the art of a godly figure... ^^Liked that... Hated the rest.

11-11-2016, 07:21 AM	#5
MMLP Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 614 Battle Record: 15-16 Champed - Write Week 9 Rep Power: 9768091	I liked it, liked the message. Your flow is typically smooth, on point and easy to read. the last part not rhyming I didn't like, loses fluency. a nice, simple short verse