[week I]Adonis vs Mr. J OPEN FOR VOTES

[Inno]

LGPA Season 2: Week I

@Adonis @Mr. J

Check ins: MondayMidnight Eastern time)
Poems Due: Wednesday (Midnight Eastern time)
Votes due: Sunday (Midnight Eastern time)


Topic:




Goodluck

[Adonis]

May the force consume you

[Adonis]

@Mr. J

Should I key something later or just write a few bars?

[Adonis]

Heavy eyelids, drifting away.
Darkness hiding in shadows
She sits unafraid
She's brave in that sense
Still a youth, fearful of shame
maturing in age, knowledge is growth
And a dry bed is the goal
...
Finally




if you post I want an extension to match

[Mr. J]

LoL I forgot about this....I'll pen up something @Adonis

[Mr. J]

Soaring through the sky
the majestic eagle.
scooping up prey
rather than trying to rescue people
for one moment she became savage..
1, 2, 3.. her opponent is in a weak place.
her favorite film...Nacho Libre

[Objective]

Mr.J: Interesting approach, straight forward as far as language goes with some young wonder and fantasy in between the words. Pretty cool overall and I can definitely see the connection to Nacho Libre, haha. Cool shit.

Adonis: Pretty cool take on a young kids mental stability and their thoughts. Lots of understanding how a childs brain works. Not sure if the last sentence brings forth the issue of wetting the bed which a lot of kids struggle with, but I choose to understand it as such and I find the challenge and fear she's facing this night to be a tough one.

Vote - one a bit more abstract than the other. It could go either way imho but Adonis edges it on this one for acknowledging the hardships of the youth and I liked his approach slightly better although the wittiness and smile at the end of Mr.J's did an impact too.

[Vulgar]

Adonis - Sort of funny. Simplistic. Awkwardly charming - like the picture. Hmm. Not bad submission but underwhelming performance for your first warm-up of the season.

Mr. Jenkins - Wasn't feeling this. It didn't build up to the obvious Nacho Libre punchline IMO. Not really what I was anticipating or hoping for. Welcome to the league anyways. I understand why you wrote something of this length because your opponent set the bar low.

Vote - Adonis

[Inno]

I could done with out the nacho libre. But it it does fit
You direction so i cant fault you to much for that. Though
You could of used a better reference and still kept your direction.
Pretty cool imagery tho.

Adonis
Wasnt feeling this at all. Didnt say anything. It stalled as far as a story goes
But ready it again i sense what you where going for. You should of kept this
Going.

Vote J

[Inno]

Adonis wins