Netcees  

Go Back   Netcees > Vault > Archives > The Netcees archive > The Lime Green Poetry Association > Archive
Register FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

User Tag List

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-06-2015, 05:38 PM   #1
Inno
Ad mini tator
 
Inno's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 10,025
Battle Record: 26-54


Champed
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Black August
- 1-2 Punch League

Rep Power: 85899403
Inno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond repute
Default [week I]Adonis vs Mr. J OPEN FOR VOTES

LGPA Season 2: Week I

@Adonis @Mr. J

Check ins: MondayMidnight Eastern time)
Poems Due: Wednesday (Midnight Eastern time)
Votes due: Sunday (Midnight Eastern time)


Topic:




Goodluck

Last edited by Inno; 12-10-2015 at 07:55 PM.
Inno is offline  
Old 12-06-2015, 05:39 PM   #2
Adonis
Tsk Tsk
 
Adonis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Beer Goggles
Posts: 4,834
Battle Record: 36-34


Champed
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- NFL Pick'em 2016-17

Rep Power: 9946449
Adonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant future
Default

May the force consume you
__________________
I'm tryna fuck like A-don-is

TUPAC SHAKUR
Adonis is offline  
Old 12-09-2015, 07:37 PM   #3
Adonis
Tsk Tsk
 
Adonis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Beer Goggles
Posts: 4,834
Battle Record: 36-34


Champed
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- NFL Pick'em 2016-17

Rep Power: 9946449
Adonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant future
Default

@Mr. J

Should I key something later or just write a few bars?
__________________
I'm tryna fuck like A-don-is

TUPAC SHAKUR
Adonis is offline  
Old 12-09-2015, 09:54 PM   #4
Adonis
Tsk Tsk
 
Adonis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Beer Goggles
Posts: 4,834
Battle Record: 36-34


Champed
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- NFL Pick'em 2016-17

Rep Power: 9946449
Adonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant future
Default

Heavy eyelids, drifting away.
Darkness hiding in shadows
She sits unafraid
She's brave in that sense
Still a youth, fearful of shame
maturing in age, knowledge is growth
And a dry bed is the goal
...
Finally




if you post I want an extension to match
__________________
I'm tryna fuck like A-don-is

TUPAC SHAKUR
Adonis is offline  
Old 12-10-2015, 01:26 AM   #5
Mr. J
The Clown Prince
 
Mr. J's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,046
Battle Record: 35-45


Champed
- Art of Writing League

Rep Power: 59349682
Mr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant future
Default

LoL I forgot about this....I'll pen up something @Adonis
__________________
.....laugh....and the world laughs with you
Mr. J is offline  
Old 12-10-2015, 01:53 AM   #6
Mr. J
The Clown Prince
 
Mr. J's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,046
Battle Record: 35-45


Champed
- Art of Writing League

Rep Power: 59349682
Mr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant future
Default

Soaring through the sky
the majestic eagle.
scooping up prey
rather than trying to rescue people
for one moment she became savage..
1, 2, 3.. her opponent is in a weak place.
her favorite film...Nacho Libre
__________________
.....laugh....and the world laughs with you
Mr. J is offline  
Old 12-10-2015, 07:10 PM   #7
Objective
( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)
 
Objective's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,868
Battle Record: 17-32



Rep Power: 52474192
Objective has a brilliant futureObjective has a brilliant futureObjective has a brilliant futureObjective has a brilliant futureObjective has a brilliant futureObjective has a brilliant futureObjective has a brilliant futureObjective has a brilliant futureObjective has a brilliant futureObjective has a brilliant futureObjective has a brilliant future
Default

Mr.J: Interesting approach, straight forward as far as language goes with some young wonder and fantasy in between the words. Pretty cool overall and I can definitely see the connection to Nacho Libre, haha. Cool shit.

Adonis: Pretty cool take on a young kids mental stability and their thoughts. Lots of understanding how a childs brain works. Not sure if the last sentence brings forth the issue of wetting the bed which a lot of kids struggle with, but I choose to understand it as such and I find the challenge and fear she's facing this night to be a tough one.

Vote - one a bit more abstract than the other. It could go either way imho but Adonis edges it on this one for acknowledging the hardships of the youth and I liked his approach slightly better although the wittiness and smile at the end of Mr.J's did an impact too.
__________________
I'm not a slave for entertainment, I'm entertainments personal slave,
So deep into writing I'm concerned bout the text on my grave.


www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV8ozGcGJ6o
Objective is offline  
Old 12-11-2015, 01:59 PM   #8
Vulgar
Razor-thin derision
 
Vulgar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,422
Battle Record: 40-25

Accomplishments
- OM HOF

Champed
- Fight Night LIV
- Gimmick Battle League (2x)
- Write Week II
- Art of Writing League
- Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament
- STI
- Haiku Writer Challenge
- GWL Picture Challenge(2x)

Rep Power: 49604320
Vulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant future
Default

Adonis - Sort of funny. Simplistic. Awkwardly charming - like the picture. Hmm. Not bad submission but underwhelming performance for your first warm-up of the season.

Mr. Jenkins - Wasn't feeling this. It didn't build up to the obvious Nacho Libre punchline IMO. Not really what I was anticipating or hoping for. Welcome to the league anyways. I understand why you wrote something of this length because your opponent set the bar low.

Vote - Adonis
Vulgar is offline  
Old 12-13-2015, 09:47 AM   #9
Inno
Ad mini tator
 
Inno's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 10,025
Battle Record: 26-54


Champed
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Black August
- 1-2 Punch League

Rep Power: 85899403
Inno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond repute
Default

I could done with out the nacho libre. But it it does fit
You direction so i cant fault you to much for that. Though
You could of used a better reference and still kept your direction.
Pretty cool imagery tho.

Adonis
Wasnt feeling this at all. Didnt say anything. It stalled as far as a story goes
But ready it again i sense what you where going for. You should of kept this
Going.

Vote J
Inno is offline  
Old 12-14-2015, 05:53 AM   #10
Inno
Ad mini tator
 
Inno's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 10,025
Battle Record: 26-54


Champed
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Black August
- 1-2 Punch League

Rep Power: 85899403
Inno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Adonis wins
Inno is offline  
Closed Thread


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:23 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Google+