jilti (5-2) vs Eyespaz (2-1) - JILTI WINS

[Sharp]

Netcees Battle League Season VIII

Rules

Due Dates:

• Verses are due Thursday, May 28th 2015 11:59 PM PST. and will be open until the following Sunday
• Battles that lack votes may close later.
• One sided battles may get closed early.
• Extensions are 24 hours

Line Limit:

• Minimum of 10, maximum of 16
• If not agreed upon, second drop must match length of the first

For additional Rules refer to rule thread


First to 5, win by at least two votes
Good luck!
@jilti @eyespaz

[iSpaz]

hi pal

[iSpaz]

edgy..

You ugly. No love G and them horror pics you should remove that,
Bc if Jil Valentine anyone, that bitch is only looking for something to shoot at.
Your a nerd. Talkin crazy's absurd, when you in the ring with a heavyweight.
So if you Dimensioning anything.. it's the weight of my fist through your fuckin face.
I'm a war chief. I got more beef so I'll just start greeding..
..And if I'm servin quick slices, that means your neck'll leak out the food your eating.
I'm throwing haymakers. This lame faker can't exchange wit us.
The way eye buckle your chest'll make seatbelts look dangerous.
I got that pump gripped. This dumb bitch'll get told.
So when I lash.. bullets'll go through yours and out the back of your skull.
Your fuckin trash, it's true. I'll cruise just to retire this buster.
So when we battle on fair grounds, I'll twist ur spine around like a ferris wheel and roll you into a dumpster.


@jilti

[jilti]

gun bars bitch..



protection is useless when a nina goes thru ur vest
losin breath as my 9 Military Heart out after i pin it to his chest
Knuck talk shit in the mag. so both'll have tops missing
dropkick em. then put Spaz'n Head in a box after it stops twitching
gotta laser beam tracer synched to infrared, rook
if u cross my Scope Around will exit before u turn ur head & look
dude a loudmouth dickhead til a roundhouse hit 'um
then watch this retarded kid Eye Drop like he had down syndrome
keep talkin trash cuz my gun release punches back
all that YAPPIN gonna be followed by a kick, like when chun li attacks
then guts start fallin below ur moms lumbar column
so when u hear a click clack under the body it's not car problems

[8===D~~~~(}:]

You ugly. No love G and them horror pics you should remove that,
Bc if Jil Valentine anyone, that bitch is only looking for something to shoot at.
ok decent, wording kinda iffy tho
Your a nerd. Talkin crazy's absurd, when you in the ring with a heavyweight.
So if you Dimensioning anything.. it's the weight of my fist through your fuckin face.
nah forced and not a word man lol
I'm a war chief. I got more beef so I'll just start greeding..
..And if I'm servin quick slices, that means your neck'll leak out the food your eating.
pretty good here
I'm throwing haymakers. This lame faker can't exchange wit us.
The way eye buckle your chest'll make seatbelts look dangerous.
decent at best for me
I got that pump gripped. This dumb bitch'll get told.
So when I lash.. bullets'll go through yours and out the back of your skull.
lol i/eye wp again, this one i liked much better. pretty cool
Your fuckin trash, it's true. I'll cruise just to retire this buster.
So when we battle on fair grounds, I'll twist ur spine around like a ferris wheel and roll you into a dumpster.
pretty stretched, meh at best

vs


protection is useless when a nina goes thru ur vest
losin breath as my 9 Military Heart out after i pin it to his chest
ha slick, pretty cool
Knuck talk shit in the mag. so both'll have tops missing
dropkick em. then put Spaz'n Head in a box after it stops twitching
lol ok
gotta laser beam tracer synched to infrared, rook
if u cross my Scope Around will exit before u turn ur head & look
pretty decent
dude a loudmouth dickhead til a roundhouse hit 'um
then watch this retarded kid Eye Drop like he had down syndrome
ehh meh for me
keep talkin trash cuz my gun release punches back
all that YAPPIN gonna be followed by a kick, like when chun li attacks
lol ok decent
then guts start fallin below ur moms lumbar column
so when u hear a click clack under the body it's not car problems
decent at best


eyespaz: 3 quotables
jilti: 4.5 quotables

Pretty good battle here and yall werent lying about these gun bars lol. Both had good verses, i just feel jilti came more consistent and had wittier wordplay.

Vote: jilti

[Wanderer]

Originally Posted by eyespaz

edgy..

You ugly. No love G and them horror pics you should remove that,
Bc if Jil Valentine anyone, that bitch is only looking for something to shoot at.
blah
Your a nerd. Talkin crazy's absurd, when you in the ring with a heavyweight.
So if you Dimensioning anything.. it's the weight of my fist through your fuckin face.
liked the idea but dimensioning as a word? Nah
I'm a war chief. I got more beef so I'll just start greeding..
..And if I'm servin quick slices, that means your neck'll leak out the food your eating.
not feeling
I'm throwing haymakers. This lame faker can't exchange wit us.
The way eye buckle your chest'll make seatbelts look dangerous.
nah
I got that pump gripped. This dumb bitch'll get told.
So when I lash.. bullets'll go through yours and out the back of your skull.
something off about bullets going through ya eye lash
Your fuckin trash, it's true. I'll cruise just to retire this buster.
So when we battle on fair grounds, I'll twist ur spine around like a ferris wheel and roll you into a dumpster.
not feeling

Vs

Originally Posted by jilti

gun bars bitch..



protection is useless when a nina goes thru ur vest
losin breath as my 9 Military Heart out after i pin it to his chest
forced to me
Knuck talk shit in the mag. so both'll have tops missing
dropkick em. then put Spaz'n Head in a box after it stops twitching
ok
gotta laser beam tracer synched to infrared, rook
if u cross my Scope Around will exit before u turn ur head & look
cool
dude a loudmouth dickhead til a roundhouse hit 'um
then watch this retarded kid Eye Drop like he had down syndrome
kinda funny
keep talkin trash cuz my gun release punches back
all that YAPPIN gonna be followed by a kick, like when chun li attacks
nah
then guts start fallin below ur moms lumbar column
so when u hear a click clack under the body it's not car problems
meh

My voting seems pretty harsh on eyespaz but he actually had some cool ideas, they just weren't executed well enough for me.
Jilt came stronger with a couple quotables and was generally more entertaining as well as being harder hitting.

V/Jilti

[Sn00p]

You ugly. No love G and them horror pics you should remove that,
Bc if Jil Valentine anyone, that bitch is only looking for something to shoot at.
^cool. wording cud've been a bit better maybe, to make the wp work both ways. concept is nice
Your a nerd. Talkin crazy's absurd, when you in the ring with a heavyweight.
So if you Dimensioning anything.. it's the weight of my fist through your fuckin face.
^well, u were onto smth here, but this needed a little more development as a concept
I'm a war chief. I got more beef so I'll just start greeding..
..And if I'm servin quick slices, that means your neck'll leak out the food your eating.
^again, this was definitely a cool idea/visual and could've been a great line if developed a bit more
I'm throwing haymakers. This lame faker can't exchange wit us.
The way eye buckle your chest'll make seatbelts look dangerous.
^okay
I got that pump gripped. This dumb bitch'll get told.
So when I lash.. bullets'll go through yours and out the back of your skull.
^no, this is played
Your fuckin trash, it's true. I'll cruise just to retire this buster.
So when we battle on fair grounds, I'll twist ur spine around like a ferris wheel and roll you into a dumpster.
^punchline was too long. also don't rly see where u were going w/ this. if i'm missing some sorta connection, mb

vs.

protection is useless when a nina goes thru ur vest
losin breath as my 9 Military Heart out after i pin it to his chest
^tear he? tear e? doesnt rly work perfectly since his name isnt e or smth like that, but okay
Knuck talk shit in the mag. so both'll have tops missing
dropkick em. then put Spaz'n Head in a box after it stops twitching
^aite cool
gotta laser beam tracer synched to infrared, rook
if u cross my Scope Around will exit before u turn ur head & look
^syllables don't match up for the rhyme. linw was cool tho
dude a loudmouth dickhead til a roundhouse hit 'um
then watch this retarded kid Eye Drop like he had down syndrome
^dont see the eye drop/retard connection
keep talkin trash cuz my gun release punches back
all that YAPPIN gonna be followed by a kick, like when chun li attacks
^uh okay
then guts start fallin below ur moms lumbar column
so when u hear a click clack under the body it's not car problems
^okayyy

well, eye had some cool ideas for sure. some were developed into punches and those hit. but overall, i think he cud be much better if his lines were a little more streamlined, and developed, and focused more on the concept w/ everything relating only to that and nothing else. jil was more polished and felt more consistent cuz of that. that's why i think he takes this. props to both
v/jilly

[ill nik-A]

Wasn't a fan of this battle, lotb here was the head twitching line and that was ok
I saw a lot of wording issues here and the not knowing the you're and your differentiation is annoying as hell

V jilti

[Sharp]

You ugly. No love G and them horror pics you should remove that,
Bc if Jil Valentine anyone, that bitch is only looking for something to shoot at.
cool idea but the punch could be harder
Your a nerd. Talkin crazy's absurd, when you in the ring with a heavyweight.
So if you Dimensioning anything.. it's the weight of my fist through your fuckin face.
die mentioning? creative idea but forced imo
I'm a war chief. I got more beef so I'll just start greeding..
..And if I'm servin quick slices, that means your neck'll leak out the food your eating.
nah
I'm throwing haymakers. This lame faker can't exchange wit us.
The way eye buckle your chest'll make seatbelts look dangerous.
tbh i like the delivery here a lot. idea was ok but delivery made this bar for me
I got that pump gripped. This dumb bitch'll get told.
So when I lash.. bullets'll go through yours and out the back of your skull.
seen the flip, could probably have done more with it but ok
Your fuckin trash, it's true. I'll cruise just to retire this buster.
So when we battle on fair grounds, I'll twist ur spine around like a ferris wheel and roll you into a dumpster.
cool idea but coulda been harder


overall like the potential here but not the best treatment of each idea. wasn't a painful read at all tho, keep it up cause i like your style



protection is useless when a nina goes thru ur vest
losin breath as my 9 Military Heart out after i pin it to his chest
9 mil'll tear e heart? that's a stretch for me but points for effort
Knuck talk shit in the mag. so both'll have tops missing
dropkick em. then put Spaz'n Head in a box after it stops twitching
alright
gotta laser beam tracer synched to infrared, rook
if u cross my Scope Around will exit before u turn ur head & look
ok
dude a loudmouth dickhead til a roundhouse hit 'um
then watch this retarded kid Eye Drop like he had down syndrome
idk i think you coulda done more with this one
keep talkin trash cuz my gun release punches back
all that YAPPIN gonna be followed by a kick, like when chun li attacks
lmao i swear you and allen knight hate each other cause you're a little too alike... solid
then guts start fallin below ur moms lumbar column
so when u hear a click clack under the body it's not car problems
ok but feels a little lazy


i think you had a similar thing to eye where it was good ideas with underwhelming treatment at times, but you had more where they were executed well IMO. good read tho

jil had better executed punches for me. ok battle, like both your styles so keep it up!

v/jilti