Ehh

[Witty]

I'm super predictable, a shooter, invincible, with a ruger I'm clinical, my humour is pitiful, I'm an imbecile of biblical proportions, leaving women filled with semen then I'm giving 'em abortions by pushing 'em from windowsills, my brain's a mystical distortion of visual contortions, as miserable as orphans, metaphysical, the symbol of extortion. I'm finagle, approach each syllable with caution, feel the villain in him blossom, cook him in a pot to kill 'em, put the sauce in, an inexplicable concoction that's drinkable like squash is, I think I'm feeling nauseous, go to the sink and fill the faucet, my brain is sinkin'...feeling thoughtless. Everything I make is innately wrong, feeling strangely strong, raping Stacy's Mom in a lacy thong, singing racy songs. My brain been gone, man my days been long, ever since age 3, taping baby dolls to fireworks, shit explodes like crazy ya'll. Melted plastic drains from the eye and rains like flames from the sky, felt like acid, my brain's running dry, I'm not a joker, but they see me like 'hey funny guy', then get their senseless ass kicked. Bored of this life, need a whore, get a wife, she's a chore, feel like squeezing with force on the pipe she breathes from, I might just be scum, my mind's been freezed numb, I am twice deceased, my soul has lime disease (geddit? Hi Netcees), I could dine and feast on the silent grief trying to find release in the rhymes I piece, together like a puzzle, the weather's like a muzzle, it's always fucking cold, who in their right mind would speak? But there's a blinding heat inside of me, like lightning, that I try to free but it's fighting mightily, I write rhymes like these to find the peace I crave, set my mind at ease, because I'm a beast, a slave, but at least the people say 'he's ok', but they don't see the demons making me obey, and walk the evil way where the feeble lay. I'm so fucking depressed, I try to tell people and it gets stuck in my chest, I love some and feel like punching the rest, I've never been something to test, always the best when it comes to throwing fists, a short fuse, quick to get the jump or grip the pump if these fucking hoes insist, make sure you and your brother's don't exist, then lay your mother in another hole, take her fucking soul with this when I untuck it slow, no time to duck and roll, ya bish, ya fucking troll...I'll push your ugly ol' face in the dirt, you love it tho cuz I'm making it hurt, you like the roughness right bitch? Always wanted a guy to fuck it like this? Shut the fuck up...I'll rip out your eyes while your sucking my dick. I'll use my teeth to tear your throat out so you won't shout, no doubt, no sound...Slow down? I'll rape your ugly ass in front of the whole town, old clown. I'm back by popular demand, this place was getting bland, but I got a couple aces in my hand, I got you all in place for my evil little plan, and I didn't even have to, I did it cuz I can. Did you forget? I'm like Hercules with pens, so you best get on your knees and worship me again, it's bad to be my foe, it's worse to be my friend, I'll fuck you in the ass til it hurts to even stand. This weed sucks, got three sluts licking these nuts...who needs drugs?

Me?

Shucks.

[Pharaohs Army]

I'm highly entertained. The rhymes in this are very very good. Quick hitting.
A fun paradoxical mix of self-deprecation and bragging.
Throw in some violence and sex-- fun times.
The rape lines are not always my cup of tea but you executed the verse nicely.

Adding "by pushing 'em from windowsills" to the early sequence really took the rhyme to another level. The beginning area is where the strongest rhymes are, IMO

The best thing about this was the humor. I was tripped up in the middle due to laughter, and I always enjoy when that happens. Both from what was said, and from the end-rhymes involved. (by end rhymes i mean,for example,the string of rhymes which begins with "innately wrong", ending with "crazy ya'll")

...my soul has lime disease (geddit? Hi Netcees), I could dine and feast on the silent grief trying to find release in the rhymes I piece, together like a puzzle, the weather's like a muzzle...

the lime joke is corny but funny. and from a technical standpoint I love the 'transition' at the end of this quote. believe it or not i was listening to a mobb deeb instrumental at the time, and I kinda felt like-- find release in the rhymes I piece, together like a puzzle -- was a "mobb-deepy sounding"transition.

...because I'm a beast, a slave, but at least the people say 'he's ok', but they don't see the demons making me obey...

...I'm so fucking depressed, I try to tell people and it gets stuck in my chest,...

^Those 2 parts in the middle really got me to laughing, forcing me to pause before finishing.

the very end (need drugs) is of course funny too, and probably true for a bunch of people here, including maybe you and definitely me.

Obviously this won't win any awards for philosophical society-changing lyrics, but of course that wasn't the aim with this kind of piece.
Props.

[Witty]

Much appreciated :)

[big baby]

wow good 2 c y can write sucked thx open Mics and no show tourneys . lol go isiyote


sucked thx

[Witty]

<3 <3 <3

[CopyPat]

lol this had its moments. ups and downs. could definitely pass on the multiple rape references hahaha. im pretty sure even though this is fairly dense that u wrote it pretty quickly. its was aight. you probly would think i would love this but i didn't.. hmm not even sure exactly why. yes it rhymed alot but like.. the scheming i think was actually SUPER simple. like the vocab was kinda ehhh. actually just remembering now that's the title. you could tell u weren't putting much into this. i've seen better from u fox! def had some cool parts though. just wasn't all there for me as a whole. peep mine and tell me what u think brahseph