Criss Cross Applesauce, Micro Shells & Applesoft

Mr. J · 03-27-2015, 02:31 PM

In a cluster of microbes I leave your mind blown
your sight..toast, glass crashing in your eye hole
open & I close, call up your girl for a ride home
coffee cups, light snow, 7 dwarves are like 'Hi ho'
Thrill her..Michael, a mask on, mind of a Psycho
no Norman Bates, more like Jason exploring space
X pills, whorish ways, Alien queen in a foreign place
'Get away from her you bitch' 'game over man'...
power shortage...Great! pound 5 Mikes coarse Lemo-nade
'How's Annie?' Is she ok? On the same crescendo slain
Twin Peaks, elemental praise, walk with me..
Come out the flame, to rebuild a monarchy
actors will get David Lynch'd, scripting my philosophies
Twisting my views, and burning away this hypocrisy..
Hi! I'm part of the revival, death, & cycle that's tandem
I love red velvet cake & bitches that fight you at random
kill your ghost writer, ghoul helper, and illustrative phantom
I been having fun lately..why do I need to look like a champion

PancakeBrah · 03-27-2015, 07:49 PM

no Norman Bates, more like Jason exploring space

Cool line.

This was an entertaining read. Some of your phrasing seems weird/nonsensical but on the whole this was a cool little verse.

Mr. J · 04-09-2015, 04:14 PM

I think that the barrage of words adds the montage of worth

CopyPat · 04-09-2015, 07:24 PM

interesting. you've been posting like a motherfucker again lately. i'm always amazed at how much content you continually push out. just as honest criticism i really think you would benefit from putting out less quantity in favor of more quality. your lack of feed on your "horribly titled" pieces may be proof of this.. haha. dope that u gave a shitload a feedback though cause this section honestly needed some life. anyways, this verse itself was strange, agree with cake that alot of seemed random as fuck but it was interesting to see u just put down ur idea's. also i think u could step up ur rhyming complexity and vocab bro. u been doing this a long time. attempt some crazier shit??

03-27-2015, 02:31 PM	#1
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	Criss Cross Applesauce, Micro Shells & Applesoft In a cluster of microbes I leave your mind blown your sight..toast, glass crashing in your eye hole open & I close, call up your girl for a ride home coffee cups, light snow, 7 dwarves are like 'Hi ho' Thrill her..Michael, a mask on, mind of a Psycho no Norman Bates, more like Jason exploring space X pills, whorish ways, Alien queen in a foreign place 'Get away from her you bitch' 'game over man'... power shortage...Great! pound 5 Mikes coarse Lemo-nade 'How's Annie?' Is she ok? On the same crescendo slain Twin Peaks, elemental praise, walk with me.. Come out the flame, to rebuild a monarchy actors will get David Lynch'd, scripting my philosophies Twisting my views, and burning away this hypocrisy.. Hi! I'm part of the revival, death, & cycle that's tandem I love red velvet cake & bitches that fight you at random kill your ghost writer, ghoul helper, and illustrative phantom I been having fun lately..why do I need to look like a champion __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

03-27-2015, 07:49 PM	#2
PancakeBrah SOBER Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 12,480 Battle Record: 2-5 Champed - AOWL Season 2 Rep Power: 85899407	no Norman Bates, more like Jason exploring space Cool line. This was an entertaining read. Some of your phrasing seems weird/nonsensical but on the whole this was a cool little verse. __________________ Netcees 2025 Revivalist Movement Founder

04-09-2015, 04:14 PM	#3
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	I think that the barrage of words adds the montage of worth __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

04-09-2015, 07:24 PM	#4
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 708 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742225	interesting. you've been posting like a motherfucker again lately. i'm always amazed at how much content you continually push out. just as honest criticism i really think you would benefit from putting out less quantity in favor of more quality. your lack of feed on your "horribly titled" pieces may be proof of this.. haha. dope that u gave a shitload a feedback though cause this section honestly needed some life. anyways, this verse itself was strange, agree with cake that alot of seemed random as fuck but it was interesting to see u just put down ur idea's. also i think u could step up ur rhyming complexity and vocab bro. u been doing this a long time. attempt some crazier shit?? __________________ My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete.