i feel like i shit out a giant pear

uh-oh · 01-11-2015, 03:49 PM

i try not to talk to much about my bowel movements anymore, but da god is hurting over here yo.

you ever take a shit, and its just, like, there is no way its gonna fit?

like i felt like i had a baseball right inside my butthole. i decided i'll take my time, smoke, and read to let my butthole relax and pass this giant piece of POOP. well like 15 minutes went by, and my butthole was just open to the limit basically.

like you know how chicks give birth, and you can see the babys head, but you know there is head hidden 360 degrees around the vagina, and that vaginal cavity needs to open like 30 percent more for this baby to push out

well thats how this was, except with a giant dry sharp chunky turd.

so i was getting worried. like shit. maybe i should try and suck this thing back up in me and maybe it will break down or something, but i figured, what if it got more added too it????? then i would never be able to pass this.

longstory short tho i basically shit out a baseball, with a tail. the tail being soft terrible mushiness.

it was the worst experience of my 25 years. wiping couldnt save me. my butthole was blown out and tender, and to make matters worse just covered in mud. the type that you cannot wipe away.

so i just wiped as good as possible and showered immediately afterward.

basically im letting random people on the internet know, because hours later i am still sore and i had to let someone know the trauma i endured this morning.

yesterday i ate like 8 sausage links for breakfast. than nothing until the game at 4:30, at which time i ate an entire bag of ranch hot wing doritos. then i ate a cheeseburger, and around midnight i ate a giant plate of pizza rolls.

LIKE A DOCTAH

Destroyer · 01-11-2015, 04:05 PM

raisin bran son
look into it

Hush · 01-11-2015, 04:07 PM

Lmaoooooo

Cot dayum

Greed · 01-11-2015, 05:16 PM

Rectum tag is the cherry on top for this thread

veritas · 01-11-2015, 05:42 PM

Lift your legs up when you poop. Like squat. Look into it bro.

Allen Knight · 01-11-2015, 05:42 PM

lmaoooo

Diode · 01-11-2015, 05:43 PM

i read giant bear and was kind of excited to read this

Witty · 01-11-2015, 05:48 PM

I actually had a similar experience after lots of codeine...didn't shit for a couple of days and when it did it felt like i was pushing the great wall of china out of my rectum.

veritas · 01-11-2015, 05:50 PM

http://squattypotty.com/

Strikta · 01-11-2015, 07:39 PM

Lol @ this.

It happens.

Legion Of Cocks in my mouth · 01-11-2015, 09:58 PM

this is the realist shit Ive read all day

KennyCerealBowl · 01-11-2015, 10:05 PM

Damn the struggle is real.

That feeling when your taking a big sharp one and when that shit is half way down ur ass u suck it back up.
ughhhh then you wipe nd its a pretty clean shit but theres like little spots of blood on it.
The struggle is fuckin real...

Objective · 01-11-2015, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by uh-oh

basically im letting random people on the internet know, because hours later i am still sore and i had to let someone know the trauma i endured this morning.

Not sure if true, but I heard somewhere that it's due to shits like these etc. the sphincter muscles or whatever gets fucked up and there's nothing to do about it, also the reason to why old people shits themselves and can't always control it due to dozens of trips to the toilet like the one you just had. Just want you to know that you're now one toilet trip closer to shitting yourself a little bit daily.

Neighbor · 01-11-2015, 10:34 PM

Do a cleanse, man

Real talk

Legion Of Cocks in my mouth · 01-11-2015, 11:54 PM

He called the shit poop!

dull boy · 01-12-2015, 07:43 AM

I've been there. You can almost tell when it's going to go down like this, but when it comes there's really no bracing. I've had my hands on the walls before. Trying to relax the muscles helps.

As previously mentioned, I eat Raisin Bran daily and it's been a while since my last shit baby.

El Muffin · 01-12-2015, 08:42 AM

yooooo lmfaaoooo

the fkn genuine advice from veritas just fucking slaughtered me

thanks guys

veritas · 01-12-2015, 08:57 AM

It's true science bro.

Batty · 01-12-2015, 09:06 AM

gone @ epcot center turd

01-11-2015, 03:49 PM	#1
uh-oh DA GOD Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Canton Ohio Posts: 12,362 Battle Record: 1-0 Champed - Beat Battle II - Beat Battle V - Beat Bags Rep Power: 84181420	i feel like i shit out a giant pear i try not to talk to much about my bowel movements anymore, but da god is hurting over here yo. you ever take a shit, and its just, like, there is no way its gonna fit? like i felt like i had a baseball right inside my butthole. i decided i'll take my time, smoke, and read to let my butthole relax and pass this giant piece of POOP. well like 15 minutes went by, and my butthole was just open to the limit basically. like you know how chicks give birth, and you can see the babys head, but you know there is head hidden 360 degrees around the vagina, and that vaginal cavity needs to open like 30 percent more for this baby to push out well thats how this was, except with a giant dry sharp chunky turd. so i was getting worried. like shit. maybe i should try and suck this thing back up in me and maybe it will break down or something, but i figured, what if it got more added too it????? then i would never be able to pass this. longstory short tho i basically shit out a baseball, with a tail. the tail being soft terrible mushiness. it was the worst experience of my 25 years. wiping couldnt save me. my butthole was blown out and tender, and to make matters worse just covered in mud. the type that you cannot wipe away. so i just wiped as good as possible and showered immediately afterward. basically im letting random people on the internet know, because hours later i am still sore and i had to let someone know the trauma i endured this morning. yesterday i ate like 8 sausage links for breakfast. than nothing until the game at 4:30, at which time i ate an entire bag of ranch hot wing doritos. then i ate a cheeseburger, and around midnight i ate a giant plate of pizza rolls. LIKE A DOCTAH __________________ EVERYBODY I KNOW GOT WEED OR GOT POWDER BUT I AINT GOT EITHER. GOT ALOT OF DEMONS

01-11-2015, 04:07 PM	#3
Hush NJ Devil Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 12,036 Battle Record: Who Cares Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Rep Power: 84181420	Lmaoooooo Cot dayum __________________ Bed stuy fly Bushwick sick East ny walk

01-11-2015, 05:42 PM	#6
Allen Knight Foreva us, neva them. Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 9,176 Battle Record: 106-34 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - Key to Greatness I - BA Cypher Tournament - Tag Team Tournament I - Fight Night LXXVI - Time to Kill V - Fight Night LXXX - 1-2 Punch League - Fight Night Cypher II - Key Grand Prix IV - NBL Cypher (7x) - Throwdown Cypher - Netcees Battle League (2x) - BA Cypher III - Fight Night 1 - Tag Team Tournament V Rep Power: 85899401	lmaoooo __________________ C.O.B The Bad Guys.

01-11-2015, 05:43 PM	#7
Diode PR's Finest Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 14,165 Battle Record: 12-7 Rep Power: 85899410	i read giant bear and was kind of excited to read this __________________

01-11-2015, 05:48 PM	#8
Witty Lime Life Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 16,978 Battle Record: 30-41 Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded Champed - Lyric Olympics - Summer Classic Rep Power: 85235118	I actually had a similar experience after lots of codeine...didn't shit for a couple of days and when it did it felt like i was pushing the great wall of china out of my rectum. __________________ He listens to voices inside of his mind Explicit and poisonous violent crime.

01-11-2015, 05:16 PM	#4
Greed Raw Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 1,721 Battle Record: 21-40 Rep Power: 29975687	Rectum tag is the cherry on top for this thread

01-11-2015, 07:39 PM	#10
Strikta 39 NS, lost in votes once Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 11,242 Battle Record: 32-40 Champed - Time to Kill X - Write Week III Rep Power: 84181452	Lol @ this. It happens.

01-11-2015, 09:58 PM	#11
Legion Of Cocks in my mouth 25 years later Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 283 Battle Record: 5-3 Rep Power: 1187830	this is the realist shit Ive read all day

01-11-2015, 10:05 PM	#12
KennyCerealBowl Do what is right. Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 769 Rep Power: 954121	Damn the struggle is real. That feeling when your taking a big sharp one and when that shit is half way down ur ass u suck it back up. ughhhh then you wipe nd its a pretty clean shit but theres like little spots of blood on it. The struggle is fuckin real... __________________

01-11-2015, 10:34 PM	#14
Neighbor Genghis Khan Vuitton Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,303 Battle Record: 30-10 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - Pic Key Grand Prix - 1-2 Season 1 - Newbie Tournament II - Fight Night LXII - Fight Night XLII - Fight Night XXXIII - Fight Night XXVI - BA Swag & Flow - 1-2 Punch League (2x) - Netcees Battle League(2x) - BA Slugfest II - Fight Night of Champions - Fight Night LXXXIII - Summer Classic X Rep Power: 34764471	Do a cleanse, man Real talk __________________ Even signing my autograph’s like writing a slaughter pact

01-11-2015, 11:54 PM	#15
Legion Of Cocks in my mouth 25 years later Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 283 Battle Record: 5-3 Rep Power: 1187830	He called the shit poop!

01-12-2015, 07:43 AM	#16
dull boy consults Lloyd Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 4,053 Battle Record: 0-8 Champed -1-2 Punch League Roast Rep Power: 39345604	I've been there. You can almost tell when it's going to go down like this, but when it comes there's really no bracing. I've had my hands on the walls before. Trying to relax the muscles helps. As previously mentioned, I eat Raisin Bran daily and it's been a while since my last shit baby.

01-12-2015, 08:42 AM	#17
El Muffin DOHpe since 02' Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Surrounded by white ppl Posts: 14,690 Battle Record: 43-24 Champed - Netcees Battle League - 1-2 Punch Onslaught - 1-2 Punch League - Hot or Thot Roast - Hot or Thot 2018 - Fight Night 11 - NPL Roast Rep Power: 34230535	yooooo lmfaaoooo the fkn genuine advice from veritas just fucking slaughtered me thanks guys __________________ It’s like weed in Highschool- w/ the cans I’ll smoke you Bitch I floss . I Got the chain out to see like Constantinople

01-12-2015, 09:06 AM	#19
Batty that nigga Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: trailer house Posts: 2,739 Rep Power: 85899385	gone @ epcot center turd