Netcees  

Go Back   Netcees > Forum > Open Mic Section
Register FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-10-2014, 09:00 PM   #1
dull boy
consults Lloyd
 
dull boy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 4,053
Battle Record: 0-8


Champed
-1-2 Punch League Roast

Rep Power: 39345604
dull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant future
Default Blehevshsixjxbs

I've got some serious issues. I'm serious, if you could peer into this dude's mirror, you'd quit, too. Suicidal. Refused denial but used it while. You learn to choose. Out to prove. Still lose your smile. I reminisce on remembering simpler days. Thats such a general phrase. Simpler days. Perspective is clouded by what you've been subjected to. Bounding you to selective surroundings. I project what's around me and how it infected my

what's the perfect word, I know it's there, one the verse deserves. It's close... it's... rare? No. That's not supposed to FLAIR. Ugh. Why don't I know. This is how I genius I am. If I can't spend 15 minutes rewording a thought so it fits with a rhyme scheme then how genius could I BE?? Please. Don't read this. My mind's week. It's been years since I had the desire to try... like I said; serious issues. Bitter. Collecting regrets. Obsessive. Possessive. Takes medicine. Frets. Hates ingesting 'em. Stressed. A wreck. No rest til he's dead.

It's all such a pagent. I'm lost in this madness. It sounds so calm in this rapping. So disconnected. So far, you detach it. These thoughts I imagine are far from a passive yawn, they've impacted. I'm haunted. ITS TRAGIC. Everything seems like a pagent. If I say my life is tragic, you reference it to fiction you've happened to witness and pack it so it fits in your atlas. The way one that exists so you're happy. So everything's this and it's that thing. This is so simple. Easily grasped. So you can reason it as nothing outside the reach that you've had. These kind of thoughts are diseasing my laugh. I've become evil. A dad who screams at his lad 'cause he can't appreciate what he has. Younger me knew it would happen. Took pride in seeing the patterns of others. I suffer. Beyond a casual bad day. I've had a past I can't out race. A future I can't make. A present too damn pained. I genuinely try to get through it, but Im too into it. My life's ridiculous. THAT RHYMED.

Or did it? While inspecting my work I've must interject, that that word may or may not have been perfection. The verse wasn't directed so stern. More of a method I learned to just let what's said/selected be heard. It's refreshing. "Definitely, sir."

Last edited by dull boy; 12-10-2014 at 09:21 PM.
dull boy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-10-2014, 09:24 PM   #2
Coup
Don't believe the hype
 
Coup's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 572
Battle Record: 4-5



Rep Power: 0
Coup Coup Coup Coup Coup Coup Coup Coup Coup Coup Coup
Default

Genius is the result of study, practice and consistency. It's never a supernatural thing. So, record that sententance/rhyme schemes till you ....till you.

Till you remove YOU from your thoughts and understand you are not the "center of the universe". Switching your mind set off you towards growth will open up the "door" to more meanigfull writings and extend your range beyond the tired "depressed artist gig"

This may...this involves living sober and making changes.
Coup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-10-2014, 09:38 PM   #3
dull boy
consults Lloyd
 
dull boy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 4,053
Battle Record: 0-8


Champed
-1-2 Punch League Roast

Rep Power: 39345604
dull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant future
Default

Oh you confident sounding little fucker you. I understand how you could presume to know by reading my incessant sad bastard shit, but within it you should always noticed a lack of desire to produce what it is you call meaningful writings. For what? Detached from that; yeah. I need some help, maybe. But as far as writing goes, I... I don't even know what I was saying. Don't care to try and explain shit anymore. I'm caught between this being a habit and no longer having the traits to properly execute it. But thank you for your time. Not really.
dull boy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-10-2014, 09:39 PM   #4
dull boy
consults Lloyd
 
dull boy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 4,053
Battle Record: 0-8


Champed
-1-2 Punch League Roast

Rep Power: 39345604
dull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant future
Default

I generally like you, btw. *kiss*
dull boy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-10-2014, 09:44 PM   #5
dull boy
consults Lloyd
 
dull boy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 4,053
Battle Record: 0-8


Champed
-1-2 Punch League Roast

Rep Power: 39345604
dull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant future
Default

I am the center of the universe. I'm trapped behind my eyes and my perspective. Everything you see in others are your projections. Or maybe I'm a sociopath.
dull boy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-10-2014, 09:47 PM   #6
dull boy
consults Lloyd
 
dull boy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 4,053
Battle Record: 0-8


Champed
-1-2 Punch League Roast

Rep Power: 39345604
dull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant future
Default

Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one's own attributes.

Totally me.
dull boy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-10-2014, 09:48 PM   #7
dull boy
consults Lloyd
 
dull boy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 4,053
Battle Record: 0-8


Champed
-1-2 Punch League Roast

Rep Power: 39345604
dull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant futuredull boy has a brilliant future
Default

MY HUMBLENESS IS SO ASTOUNDING. MMMM IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE SUCH A GREAT PERSON :D
dull boy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-10-2014, 09:51 PM   #8
Coup
Don't believe the hype
 
Coup's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 572
Battle Record: 4-5



Rep Power: 0
Coup Coup Coup Coup Coup Coup Coup Coup Coup Coup Coup
Default

Yeah I know man....I know you have some meaningful stuff in there, that is how I know a little about you. cos don't we write what is already in us? WE all need help.

This is my opinion and it is this:...this writing stuff happening here at netcess is all vanity and borderline idolatry...it's the temptation and our own lusts to write for here (for vain recognition or what ever, each person is different)....sorta why I stopped writing in general in these veins.....I sit down to like I used to and just can't anymore....Tho I feel a new era dawning.


I like you too dude, always did...that is why I am straight with you. Polite praise is hate.

peace.
Coup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-10-2014, 10:04 PM   #9
KennyCerealBowl
Do what is right.
 
KennyCerealBowl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 769




Rep Power: 954121
KennyCerealBowl has a brilliant futureKennyCerealBowl has a brilliant futureKennyCerealBowl has a brilliant futureKennyCerealBowl has a brilliant futureKennyCerealBowl has a brilliant futureKennyCerealBowl has a brilliant futureKennyCerealBowl has a brilliant futureKennyCerealBowl has a brilliant futureKennyCerealBowl has a brilliant futureKennyCerealBowl has a brilliant futureKennyCerealBowl has a brilliant future
Default

I think i like it
__________________
KennyCerealBowl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-11-2014, 12:57 AM   #10
Bodey
Senior Member
 
Bodey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,145
Battle Record: 1-1


Champed
- Guerrilla writing league

Rep Power: 19240095
Bodey has a brilliant futureBodey has a brilliant futureBodey has a brilliant futureBodey has a brilliant futureBodey has a brilliant futureBodey has a brilliant futureBodey has a brilliant futureBodey has a brilliant futureBodey has a brilliant futureBodey has a brilliant futureBodey has a brilliant future
Default

I feel like you and I both think way too much into the writing thing when tied down by inner demons on a regular. It used to get some good shit outta me but now I sacrifice a rhyme for what couldve been a better line . Or maybe I missed the whole point
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Objective View Post
Judging from those pics and the state you're in I've concluded with the fact that the world needs more Bodeys.
Bodey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-11-2014, 02:51 PM   #11
Geno
White Earl
 
Geno's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Philly Cat.
Posts: 12,354
Battle Record: 10-15

Accomplishments
- Open Mic HOF (4x)

Champed
- Netcees Writers League
- Write Week I
- Write Week 8

Rep Power: 50036761
Geno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant future
Send a message via AIM to Geno
Default

Descriptive writing. Typically i detest when someone repeats their use of a word even of the suffix or prefix has changed or ones been added. You pull it off with class though. Your writing is always some of the more interesting this om has seen and i will always read sir. This was dope. Loved the introspect nd even areas that seem fictional. Thanks
__________________
-A.bove T.he R.est
Geno is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-11-2014, 02:53 PM   #12
Zen
Arm the Homeless
 
Zen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,102
Battle Record: 22-24


Champed
- Art of Writing League

Rep Power: 35079722
Zen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant futureZen has a brilliant future
Default

Dull, you wanna smoke some pots???
Zen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2014, 01:59 PM   #13
Mr. J
The Clown Prince
 
Mr. J's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,046
Battle Record: 35-45


Champed
- Art of Writing League

Rep Power: 59349682
Mr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant future
Default

this was nice, it was like a stream of your subconscious unraveling as you kept writing, and the flow of the piece just kept adding to how you were capable of holding onto your style of writing and making it just come together better than most writers can do in a set period of time. somewhat effortless and very well planned out before it hit the page and became this thread that you soon developed into a blanket to cover the disgusting amount of work that has been placed around here. I see you...and I feel cozy
__________________
.....laugh....and the world laughs with you
Mr. J is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:13 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Google+