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Old 11-23-2014, 07:18 PM   #1
trajik
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Default Reign the Blood

Reign in Blood
by trajik

my name is alex, i live adjacent to a palace
a mason's talents that make my face and hands all callous
my brain is balanced, knowledge that's based on ancient ballads
it's plainly fallacy, although i think they meant no malice
society structured on stone: roads, walls, everything known
so too, the king's luxury throne, there's benevolence shown
seeing how the population's grown as more than mindless drones
no bubbles to puncture, evoking the feeling heaven is home
there's education, medication, health care and dentistry
preach meditation, psilosybin, to reach the next degree
our empire nation is running in unique propensity
no explanation, i believe it's true, things are meant to be

if there's one thing that bothers me it's the lottery
it's an obscene act fostering the economy
messages seen vast across the stars like astronomy
it's a monthly occurrence alerting atrocity
curiosity envelops the people, who's chosen?
possibility develops endless as the blue ocean
desired by the entirety, unless you want truth spoken
winning is like having your own personal noose woven
they say the rain and sun rays are regulated by blood
fields of grain dehydrated and awaiting a flood
weather patterns of saturation then dry late in the month
whether random or formulated it's got fate in the clutch

kidnapped mid-nap, wake to a struggle, wearing a muzzle
arms tied, sharp mind but i'm befuddled, we're in a puzzle
four hostages and two in control explaining why we're here
"for positives let beauty behold, we aim to silence fears
your consciousness consumed as a whole contains an opulence
an audience viewing your souls, you're the finest of your peers
we are subservient to a superior species
look around, they invented the interior we see
the wall's inscriptions are all the scriptures i insist you read
abolished diction and polished fixtures that exist as creed
they sleep beneath our feet and are the reason you will bleed
discreet evil genius breed who are the real ones who lead
they feed on our best representatives, never drunk with greed
when we comply they remain in shadows letting us succeed
now you've been educated on how our society functions
your brains hold strength, that's why you are the quiet inductions"


the next morning the populous converged for their tradition
surrounding a platform, circling and merging in position
the air is quite light in spite of the imminent affliction
with last night's insight i'm kind of intimate with the mission
my pulse is calmed and palms are moist in anticipation
nothing's audible beyond the noise of silent patience
the wait is over, the nooses have been allocated
"drawn together, your souls will be amalgamated
let us celebrate their lives and not mourn their departure"

we're drawn inward, depicting a scene of scary artwork
four of us by ankles are hoisted, blood rushing to our head
horrendously severed our voice boxes, flushing out the red
the neck's secretion collects beneath them, into sacred bowls
"let rain reign over the grain fields, and too take their souls"
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Old 11-24-2014, 12:45 PM   #2
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This was an interesting piece the flow is kind of choppy at first
how you went from palace, malice, & callous was really nice
then you went back to single syllable words which didn't benefit the beginning
but as far as the story goes you have a grasp on how to structure correctly
and that helps the story as a whole and straightens out the first half
as we progress you seem to get slightly more comfortable
which is nice, either way keep it up Ill keep reading when you do
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Old 11-24-2014, 08:38 PM   #3
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"Kidnapped mid-nap"
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