Quittin Time

[CopyPat]

There's something about a beer after work. It's like a cure after hurt. The clear after dirt that makes me seem happy. Burp. I could sing happy birthday but I'm not in the mood. And it's not that I'm rude, I'm really just not a talkative dude. Or at least when I'm talking to you. When I talk about me though, it's unstoppable. People who's noggins are equal to the thoughts in my cerebral give me a positive reason to keep on what I'm keepin. And if your morals are decent, then I'll be more than appeasing. But if you're "poor little me" then I'll be over there, cya. Pour me a green one like it's Saint Patty’s day. Which I don't totally agree with. It's just the same Saturday but with more shitty music. People are horribly stupid, I just ignore it.. I choose it. Adjusted more, it's a movement to fuckin cope with these humans. I just wanna poke me some booty and hopefully boobies, but that's just what it is.. Hope. And it's truly at most what I'm doing... I'm coping, I'm doing some homework and schooling. I'm learning, I'm trying to care but it's early, and I don't think it's working... I'm burning inside of this chair that I'm perched in. Cause nothing’s amusing, nothing can move me, like log jams. I'm stuck in a movie, I'm not sad, I'm just not in touch with my feelings. I got dad, I got a mother and nieces. It's not bad... Actually they're nothing to sneeze at. They're all grand and I think I love em to pieces. But offhand I don't think I'd ever want children. I look at my parents and wonder how the fuck that they did it. How the hell didn't we kill them? And then I look at my sibling and her 2 little kiddies, and as much as I love them it kills me to see my brother in law dealing... With the shit that he deals with. Legit I would leave and just quit, I would beat it. I can't even picture the feeling of living with so little freedom. Talk about nightmares.. That's the biggest I'm seeing. The vividness of the dream is so visually creepy. Like "Hey man, wanna..."Nope, can't cause I'm busy. Hanging with kiddies." Dragons and Disney, pandas and Tiggers. Yeah sounds like a riot.. So much for violence, course language and titties. Damn I just couldn't. It sounds like it's prison. Or drowning, a victim of family commitments.. I'd rather be sitting just having a bevy. Got enough responsibilities to tackle already.. I'm glad that I'm single. I'm just a glass in a sink full. The only tangible difference between your glass and my shit is you'd think I'm sad but I been full. Yeah well it's simple...cause that half empty shit ain't a fad that I dig yo.

[dead man]

hahaha

saint pattys shit was ON-POINT. and pretty vicious

as far as having kids, were pretty much on the same page. i see my homies and ex-gfs with kids and they really don't seem happy with their decision. they love their kids and will continue to raise them, but obviously were not in the right space in their lives to make the leap. your brother in law is a strong dude like any father but its definitely not for everybody.

personally, I'm gonna keep a raincoat on deck for any and all stormy nights.

awesome stream of thoughtlessness. after-work brew as elixir for reflection. love it

thanks FAM

1

[sral]

LOL @ the Saint Paddys Day ish

Cause nothing’s amusing, nothing can move me, like log jams. I'm stuck in a movie, I'm not sad, I'm just not in touch with my feelings. I got dad, I got a mother and nieces. It's not bad... Actually they're nothing to sneeze at. They're all grand and I think I love em to pieces. But offhand I don't think I'd ever want children. I look at my parents and wonder how the fuck that they did it.

I loved the scheme throughout this section, with the whole "got dad" rhymes etc carrying it over - I could hear that being spat as I read it, straight dopesauce when the grenade goes awf!

Like "Hey man, wanna..."Nope, can't cause I'm busy. Hanging with kiddies." Dragons and Disney, pandas and Tiggers. Yeah sounds like a riot..

LOL almost too real for my present situation, tbh. I could relate to that a lot, as will a few of the older members here no doubt.

Damn I just couldn't. It sounds like it's prison. Or drowning, a victim of family commitments.. I'd rather be sitting just having a bevy. Got enough responsibilities to tackle already..

Real talk, Pat!

I think Black read too much into things with the after work brew for relection idea, lol, this was just NC's favourite Canadaian doing what he does, and dopely.

KEYS UP, HOES DOWN!

[dead man]

drink beer, think about things, write them

what is there to read into?

[big baby]

FINISH HIM @dead man

this was cool.


The dialogue was probably the freshest part, because I think that's where you connected emotions rather than displaying them. Or not, so. That's where I sensed a flare peaking rather than just trying to cram in emotions in a scheme, even if they do fit very nicely, it still didn't come out as refined, or should I say.. accurate to what you're actually feeling. Even though you said what you were feeling quite accurately. I just think it couldve been done better, or you wish it couldve been done better or said better, you just couldnt with what you have.

[big baby]

Also, Id like to add the reason lars likes this because it's simple and he's a simple writer. I've never seen lars extend in the realms to the likes of dead, vulg, pancake. I don't think he possesses that ability. He's moreso of a short schemed, tight imagery type, just like you, pat. Hence why you guys probably get a long. And both suck ass. But yup, good stuff.

[theMuzzl3]

I will read this later. Seems to hurt my head too much, now.

[AndyHiro]

I like this. Beer is the reason I'm a proud underachiever. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings about your life and family. Very down to Earth kinda of tone with no flex and this drop doesn't need it. You have a cool smooth simple rhyme scheme and I like how it feels conversational like your speaking to me directly.

[dull boy]

Dope.

[sral]

Originally Posted by big baby

Also, Id like to add the reason lars likes this because it's simple and he's a simple writer. I've never seen lars extend in the realms to the likes of dead, vulg, pancake. I don't think he possesses that ability. He's moreso of a short schemed, tight imagery type, just like you, pat. Hence why you guys probably get a long. And both suck ass. But yup, good stuff.

been that, done there. me and black have been crew for years prior to this place. he wrote a piece called 'a thousand faces' once and i went and did 'a thousand AND ONE faces' right after reading it in a similar vein, i like his style, and Vulgars, i've just honed my own and like what i like the same as everyone else. collabo week in the old league here, i got given a vulgar verse to go off and did so. it's not that i cant do it, or that i cant appreciate what they do, we just like different things but all of thats subjective on who's the better writer etc this was like 4 years ago when i did the Black thing, though. me and Copy have a real similar style, we obv. place a lot more emphasis on flow in text than some writers do and thats apparent. i dont think his style is 'simple' at all though, that's straight up disrespectful to call his shit that. Copy can be one of the most complex out with his multistrings and rhymeschemes, thats evident when he's only at like 60-70% what he's capable of. thye other thing i love about this guy is how quick he can turn around a piece thats STRAIGHT FIRE not many can do that, and i'm one who can so i appreciate that skill to the fullest. hence why he's always been one of my fav. long term collaborators along with the likes of Iglos, Ninja Mic and MMLP. all of us are keystyle champs hitting you bitches off with the quickness. that gets a huge amount of respect from me, i hate dudes taking days/weeks on a verse when ive already wrote mine up.

tl;dr: truth from da gawd.

[Witty]

I didn't think this was simple either, it was very clever, I enjoyed it a lot...the bit about kids was my favourite part.

[Ghost1]

Schemes were crazy. ..... didnt intend on reading it all honestly....just bored clicking threads....when i started reading it tho the flow was smooth an kept me reading....kindve went off on a tangent w the kids thing....but i guess that after work beer will get ur mind goin as u unwind. I dont really have a stance on ur oppinion towards kids.....i dont think u said anything profound or original...but it was def ill to watch ur mind ramble off into these topsy turvsy schemes while the words curved. Cool read.

[theMuzzl3]

flow and content was good... I'm still reading it, but giving you a +

In completion of reading -- this was a very good read. I could go into detail, but I won't bother. Props.

[CopyPat]

Thx homies

[Vulgar]

Awesome, good stuff.

[Pinot Grij]

Holy fuck, dude. What the hell could I say about this?

Extremely fun read, rhymes were ridiculous. The stream of consciousness had a great link in between each thought but every tangent was fully-formed and totally relatable. I love the commitment to the character... the only break from the tone was the "cerebral" line.. after reading the whole piece, that seems a bit out of place given the voice. But that's a tiny drawback, this was fun as shit to read and massively impressive. Good shit, homey.

[theMuzzl3]

haven't read this thoroughly yet, but I promise I will.

[Certain]

Zen ruined hollandaise and now you, too? Damn it, Zen. This was very good, downbeat and reflective but with your trademark sense of wit that most of us lonely saps here lack. The rhymes were a bit more askew than normal at times, but they come so rapidly as to make up for any overly aggressive slants. I didn't like the repeating of glass and full in the last few rhymes. It seemed like you had an idea for how to end it but couldn't work it into your scheme on first attempt and didn't bother closing as well as you could have. This reminded me a bit of our collaboration from a year ago as well as your collaboration with Zen. I wish you many flat-chested blondes.

[Bodey]

I liked the tone of this piece a lot. I always enjoy your pieces. It was almost as if you were just unloading random thoughts in such a smooth rhythmic way. Good stuff Pat

[Zen]

Originally Posted by Certain

Zen ruined hollandaise and now you, too? Damn it, Zen. This was very good, downbeat and reflective but with your trademark sense of wit that most of us lonely saps here lack. The rhymes were a bit more askew than normal at times, but they come so rapidly as to make up for any overly aggressive slants. I didn't like the repeating of glass and full in the last few rhymes. It seemed like you had an idea for how to end it but couldn't work it into your scheme on first attempt and didn't bother closing as well as you could have. This reminded me a bit of our collaboration from a year ago as well as your collaboration with Zen. I wish you many flat-chested blondes.

What did I do?