BA week 2 - Unfukwitable vs Bruce leroy - OPEN FOR FEED

[Defiant]

BAWB - ba weekly battles
10 lines
Due Wednesday midnight
House rules
YOU MUST PROVIDE 2 LINKS IF NOT YOU DONT GET A BATTLE NEXT WEEK

@Unfukwitable @Bruce Leroy

[Clayray]

Check.

Good luck queer jk

Not.

[Unfukwitable]

check

[Unfukwitable]

U got a childish squad, hearing these foolish lames talkin;
Proves we're opposites. Our cadence? efficient.. & yall playin games often.
If he uses a Arm bar, its bout how my watch glitters & dances,
If I use a Arm bar Its only to cause tendon & ligament damage.

Originally Posted by Bruce Leroy

I'm 6'0 on a good day

Well this must be a good day cause I'm severin this wack geek,
Then I'm diggin his grave to that measurement exactly.
He sent nudes to this chick he stalks, with a caption;
that reads "lets engage more in-sexting"..
She replys I hope U get one those & die from Allergic reaction.
I'll catch'em with his school lunch, Land a smack;
then snatch his BLT bag..
& I'll get offered one of those 2 give his sandwich back.

.
.
.
.
Our cadence? efficient = Arcade insufficient..

[Defiant]

@Bruce Leroy

[Unfukwitable]

Originally Posted by Defiant

@Bruce Leroy

You can close this now.... waste of lines smh

[jilti]

Originally Posted by Unfukwitable

You can close this now.... waste of lines smh

Not a waste of lines... u get a dub from it

[Unfukwitable]

Originally Posted by jilti

Not a waste of lines... u get a dub from it

yea i want some feedback tho ... maybe i can post this in open mic or something.

[~RustyGunZ~]

U got a childish squad, hearing these foolish lames talkin;
Proves we're opposites. Our cadence? efficient.. & yall playin games often.
Nah, weak and stretched punch and to much pausing made it wording and uncomfortable. Very longbar-esque. Doesn't really work with such a break in the middle of the wordplay, especially when it's not at the acutal break in words
If he uses a Arm bar, its bout how my watch glitters & dances,
If I use a Arm bar Its only to cause tendon & ligament damage
been done a lot, nicely worded flip though. good set up. wouldn't have quoted based on it's played out value.
Well this must be a good day cause I'm severin this wack geek,
Then I'm diggin his grave to that measurement exactly.
Cool personal, the whole 6 foot deep has been done at every angle but in a BA match I would have quoted probably since it has a relevant flip and attack.
He sent nudes to this chick he stalks, with a caption;
that reads "lets engage more in-sexting"..
She replys I hope U get one those & die from Allergic reaction.
Very poorly worded, the 3 line short one in the middle approach works SOMETIMES but usually makes it long winded and unenjoyable. This was one of those times and the wordplay was just eh.
I'll catch'em with his school lunch, Land a smack;
then snatch his BLT bag..
& I'll get offered one of those 2 give his sandwich back.
Don't see any punch, elaborate

@Unfukwitable there's some feed

[Unfukwitable]

@Knucklehead ...B.L tea bag/BLT Bag(Sandwich)

thanks I highly appreciate it, I was testing the waters with some of those lines due to the bars he dropped last week.

[jilti]

U got a childish squad, hearing these foolish lames talkin;
Proves we're opposites. Our cadence? efficient.. & yall playin games often.
miss
If he uses a Arm bar, its bout how my watch glitters & dances,
If I use a Arm bar Its only to cause tendon & ligament damage.
cool
Well this must be a good day cause I'm severin this wack geek,
Then I'm diggin his grave to that measurement exactly.
dope
He sent nudes to this chick he stalks, with a caption;
that reads "lets engage more in-sexting"..
She replys I hope U get one those & die from Allergic reaction.
just ok
I'll catch'em with his school lunch, Land a smack;
then snatch his BLT bag..
& I'll get offered one of those 2 give his sandwich back.
ok

Overall decent. Bars could of been worded better and condensed