06-09-2020, 07:17 PM | #1 |
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WEEK 10: Artifce vs Activate self ART WINS OPEN FOR FEED
GUERRILLA WRITING LEAGUE @Artifice @atcivate self Max line: 30 Min: 10 Check in: 48 hours after thread post DUE DATE: JUNE 14TH @ 11:59PM EST GOOD LUCK |
06-10-2020, 03:19 AM | #2 | |
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In. Good luck, Art.
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Quote:
Last edited by ACTIVATE SELF; 06-10-2020 at 01:50 PM. |
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06-10-2020, 10:51 AM | #3 |
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check. good luck Activate, let's make it a good one.
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06-13-2020, 10:27 PM | #4 |
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Activate said he can't show, so I'm not gonna bother with really trying to polish what I had written... just dropping it for feedback as is...
she sits alone on her porch, the rocking chair creaks movin' back & forth, a memory on constant repeat the topic on which she found it awkward to speak birthing her hurt, placenta'd tears rolling off of her cheek constantly weeps thinking about the soul that's lost plus aunts, uncles & cousins killed in the holocaust forced to flee the homeland when evil crawled across she never slept, at night the third reich was all she saw always on the move, she would jettison quick but her family tree only branched the short end of the stick the ring was the only thing she had from her mother plus no mementos to help remember dad or her brothers still she carried their essence through her survival escaped the tribal fate, new worlds awaited her arrival through decades of peace her youth decayed her brow gradually wrinkled, slowly her roots have greyed but a truth remains locked in the lens of the mirror the reflection it projects is a death she couldn't see clearer what she perspects in the polished glass is sacred it's her twin... she's the burden of the one who didn't make it |
06-14-2020, 07:58 AM | #5 | |
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Vanishing twin syndrome is a real thing and this was an interesting take on this topic. Even without polish this was solid, but with some more editing, which I'm sure you were planning on doing, I feel this would've been tough to beat. Always enjoy your stuff man.
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