BAL: Wavy Crockett (1-0) vs. Nameflip (1-0) - {Wavy Crockett wins}

[Meth]

Battle Arena League

Rules

Due Dates:

• Verses are due Wednesday,
  November 4th 2015 11:59 PM PST.
• Extensions are 24 hours

Line Limit:

• Min. = 10
• Max. = 12
• NO EXCEPTIONS

General Rules:

• 1st person to post can't edit after the 2nd person posts.
• 2nd person to post can't edit after a vote has been made.
• Feeding = DQ.
• Recycling = DQ.
• Biting = DQ.
• No freeposting, swaying or bitching.
• Unless a picture battle is agreed upon,
  linking to your opponent's picture or posting it
  means you will be disqualified.
• A check in IS NOTmandatory.
• Competitors should agree on a line limit in their check in.
• If no line limit is agreed on, then the 2nd person to post
  must match the 1st person's line amount.

@Wavy Crockett @Nameflip

[Nameflip]

Fuck you.

U scared out ya socks, I'll make you walk naked cross a frozen lake
Chuck rocks, and count how many it takes until it breaks.
Gotta c'neck for the rifle, u won't hear it when it bangs
Kill u wit my homies strap, we call that a hood stock exchange
Think fajitas at the Chinese spot, the way my glocks spit
If it's beef ill'lift ya whole strip with these chopsticks
But fuck guns, I'm good w/ the hands if we have ta brawl
Pull a knife on me I'll reverse it an make the cut; like a casting call.
Fuck you. Ya girl? Crazy slut, pointed at you like "hes a fag"
Then proceeded to slide down more poles than confederate flags.
I'm grumpy as fuck, like an old man with a damn temper
"Dont step on my lawn!" or my bullets come across burning like klan members

[Wavy Crockett]

Originally Posted by Nameflip

I had to take 3 hellians trick or treating so I didnt dress up but got one of those glasses with the big nose and it had a snot bubble on it that u could blow up lol

I could leave out ur gay marriage & it still won't be fair
Ironic, u got a Rubber Sniffer & have a fetish for smellin the dildos u share
I picked up ya girl @ work & made her suck me off in the whip
She gave me that temp. oral bone 'til I broke her fuckin jaw w/ my dick
Yosemite Sam when these bullets leave ur brain in critical
I'll shoot at ya feet & have you dancin around the fire; no pagan ritual
Name's abysmal, takin my 2 cents'll get him aired
That's a Coin, 'flip.. like your status when I lay you up in intensive care
I'll show up at ya backyard BBQ & put a slug in ur niece
This 4 rings on ur 'hood when I start crashin shit - that's @Hush in the lease
Dismember ur wife; adopt your kids after I'm endin ur lives
& for Namesake, I'll make "Hopeless Faggot" the one they remember u by

[Orc]

U scared out ya socks, I'll make you walk naked cross a frozen lake
Chuck rocks, and count how many it takes until it breaks.

there's nothing really to this concept, man. i felt like it was going to go somewhere but then there turned out to be no sting to it. coulda maybe played off chuck rocks. boyyy i will leave u in the coldest state - homie told me to chuck rocks..& now he's rocking concrete cons in a frozen lake// not a great line -- you see where i'm coming from, though. the connections in the punch add up and it helps make the punch sting.

Gotta c'neck for the rifle, u won't hear it when it bangs
Kill u wit my homies strap, we call that a hood stock exchange

this is simple but it's not bad. the rhyming is off but the line hits -- though stock exchange/homies strap is possibly a played idea; if not then certainly a played execution of concept. as it stands, though, the line was pretty tough. slicker rhyming would have added to impact.

Think fajitas at the Chinese spot, the way my glocks spit
If it's beef ill'lift ya whole strip with these chopsticks

liked the connections throughout, i'm not really overawed or impressed by the concept itself, though the execution is to be commended. all of the associations were slick and the actual punch was cool. your best line so far

But fuck guns, I'm good w/ the hands if we have ta brawl
Pull a knife on me I'll reverse it an make the cut; like a casting call.

the connection in the punch (make the cut/casting call) needed to be stronger, you wasted a great deal of the punch on filler. you could have used that space to add in more connections that'd make it stronger. to be honest, though, ''make the cut'' is an old idea, and i can't see it really hitting hard, however it's worded.

Fuck you. Ya girl? Crazy slut, pointed at you like "hes a fag"
Then proceeded to slide down more poles than confederate flags.

this is okay. again erring on the older side of concepts with poles/dick/flags connection. it's worded well though and cleanly. rhyming wasn't great again

I'm grumpy as fuck, like an old man with a damn temper
"Dont step on my lawn!" or my bullets come across burning like klan members

the execution was clean; this is an old wordplay though, man. klan/cross is ancient and so is across/a cross. i will say that i liked how you twisted it around though so that it is takes an unexpected turn with the punch.

v

I could leave out ur gay marriage & it still won't be fair
Ironic, u got a Rubber Sniffer & have a fetish for smellin the dildos u share

liked the twist on this, good use of the quote, it was funny. i would have ended it differently but as it stands it's still pretty fresh. good start

I picked up ya girl @ work & made her suck me off in the whip
She gave me that temp. oral bone 'til I broke her fuckin jaw w/ my dick

another good hit. a fresh wordplay which i haven't seen and a creative concept combined with slick wording; not too little, not too much. this was very good

Yosemite Sam when these bullets leave ur brain in critical
I'll shoot at ya feet & have you dancin around the fire; no pagan ritual

more swagger and flow than battle punching, imo. it is a nice line in its own right -- just doesn't have a mean hit to it or a creative edge. this was a phoned in Neighbor bar. i think you write these in your sleep.

Name's abysmal, takin my 2 cents'll get him aired
That's a Coin, 'flip.. like your status when I lay you up in intensive care

i didn't really like this, the concept seems too run of themill. i know you set it up with the 2 cents and aired (which was slick) but the punch was obvious as soon as i read coin flip, you know?

I'll show up at ya backyard BBQ & put a slug in ur niece
This 4 rings on ur 'hood when I start crashin shit - that's Hush in the lease

this was verrrry dope. your best bar and lotb by far. the whole line was fire. wording/punch/concept all fit together seamlessly. i like the Orc wording on the punch, too.

Dismember ur wife; adopt your kids after I'm endin ur lives
& for Namesake, I'll make "Hopeless Faggot" the one they remember u by

this was uninspired, bro. probably thrown together just to finish the verse. that happens to me a lot, haha. namesake was an obvious flip and i didn't feel the family connection. it is funny, though.


so, Nameless, i don't know who you are or if you're an alias but you've got some aspects down. the only thing i would say would be to think a little more outside of the box with your concepts and delivery of the punches that you do choose to come with. a lot of your lines were tired or ''played'' (an annoying term in text battling, and overused) in the sense that they've been done before and it's hard to put a fresh spin on them. the strip in the air line was a perfect example of lines you SHOULD write; use that as your reference point in future when it comes to wording. Neighbor (plausibly), on the other hand, was polished throughout. he had a couple of lines i didn't like but the ones i did like i really liked: the opener was slick, the following line hit, and the Hush line was very good. i've got Neighbor.

[2tripple0]

aye I also felt similar to orc.........I felt like nameflip came with a dope verse at its natural state whereas when neighbour dropped he showed his veteran status because he really fought out until the end and there were times where nameflip had me chuckling er whatever but it was a fast read and there wasnt very much personal about it....... I think if it had been as funny as it was and at the same time technically perverse he would easily have taken win....but he didn't....and in the end neighbour fought his way towards my vote at least and possibly the w.......could have gone either way however and I think this was probably BOTW for me so far from what ive read......


vote: davie crockett

[Meth]

Originally Posted by Nameflip

Fuck you.

U scared out ya socks, I'll make you walk naked cross a frozen lake
Chuck rocks, and count how many it takes until it breaks.
--nothing for me here.
Gotta c'neck for the rifle, u won't hear it when it bangs
Kill u wit my homies strap, we call that a hood stock exchange
--lol this was a cool idea, with better execution could have been fire imo. solid line.
Think fajitas at the Chinese spot, the way my glocks spit
If it's beef ill'lift ya whole strip with these chopsticks
--ties ins could have been improved but i liked this line as a whole
But fuck guns, I'm good w/ the hands if we have ta brawl
Pull a knife on me I'll reverse it an make the cut; like a casting call.
--too old of a concept w/o a fresh flip for me to enjoy
Fuck you. Ya girl? Crazy slut, pointed at you like "hes a fag"
Then proceeded to slide down more poles than confederate flags.
--once again i think if u tied the concept in and made some reference to the punch in the set up this could have been better. this is ok.
I'm grumpy as fuck, like an old man with a damn temper
"Dont step on my lawn!" or my bullets come across burning like klan members
--not really feeling this

Originally Posted by Wavy Crockett

I could leave out ur gay marriage & it still won't be fair
Ironic, u got a Rubber Sniffer & have a fetish for smellin the dildos u share
--okay
I picked up ya girl @ work & made her suck me off in the whip
She gave me that temp. oral bone 'til I broke her fuckin jaw w/ my dick
--dope.
Yosemite Sam when these bullets leave ur brain in critical
I'll shoot at ya feet & have you dancin around the fire; no pagan ritual
--cool
Name's abysmal, takin my 2 cents'll get him aired
That's a Coin, 'flip.. like your status when I lay you up in intensive care
--damn. this is nice. wording and execution just about as perfect as u can get imo
I'll show up at ya backyard BBQ & put a slug in ur niece
This 4 rings on ur 'hood when I start crashin shit - that's @Hush in the lease
--this is nice as well jeez.
Dismember ur wife; adopt your kids after I'm endin ur lives
& for Namesake, I'll make "Hopeless Faggot" the one they remember u by
--ok

wavy went in yo. wether hes neighbor or not this is a top tier caliber verse.

nameflip had some ok ideas that he could have out together better imo

but he was just outclassed

v/ wavy crockett