Uhuh

Exis · 02-01-2014, 10:32 AM

Ayo,

I'm that awesome rapper
you've the gall to blabber
amongst a board of masters when your small in stature
watch me gnaw your bladder
and have you pissin' yourself
in a really awkward manner
I'm what causes havoc
where important matters
get addressed directly in the rawest fashion
I'll have your jaw a crackin' 'fore you've stepped to test me
should've grown a set of testes
'fore that thought had happened
or atleast pretend your deadly like this forums baddest
manufactured poorly,
you's an assembled dead beat in the purest form of wackness
and since I mainly talk thru actions
I'll leave you fractured surely
as to attack with cruelty is just a force of habit
I'm morbid, graphic
an erected mortar blastin'
knockin' you from off of your high horse
for bein' no more than average.

Clayray · 02-01-2014, 10:42 AM

You had nice Multi's throughout, nice flow to it as well. The intro was the best part for me

Quote:

Originally Posted by Exis

I'll have your jaw a crackin' 'fore you've stepped to test me
should've grown a set of testes
'fore that thought had happened
or atleast pretend your deadly like this forums baddest
manufactured poorly,
you's an assembled dead beat in the purest form of wackness.

^^ this was good as well. Overall a pretty solid piece.

Keep writing man!

Peace.

Certain · 02-01-2014, 11:11 PM

This wasn't my favorite submission of yours. There were a few awkward spots both within the rhymes and within the content itself, particularly the "you've" in the second line. But mostly, the rhymes weren't complex enough to balance out the relatively simple content. A punchline or more graphic or original quotable of some sort would have helped this quite a bit. But I've seen plenty better from you, so I'm thinking this was mostly just a quick flex.

Dove Dozer · 02-02-2014, 12:07 PM

It was decent. Felt like multies for the sake of it. not bad though

Geno · 02-02-2014, 12:10 PM

Dope shit exis. Sup with that collab, have you checked ur pm's? Lemme know if you fuck with it or not

Holla

Dope girl · 02-02-2014, 09:10 PM

This was very good to read, you had some nice multies & great flow.

Exis · 02-04-2014, 07:10 AM

Lol @ Certain...if this was simple what do you call hers?^^

Thanks bitches.

Exis · 02-04-2014, 07:18 AM

And @Genocide ...I replyed you ages back nigga.

Just Write · 02-04-2014, 10:10 AM

watch me gnaw your bladder

yo that's hella suspect right there my dude lmao, nah this was dope, enjoyed the last 4-5 lines the most, stay at it bro and thanks for peepin my verse. peace

CopyPat · 02-05-2014, 04:58 PM

hahha quick lil key obviously. u seemed bored on this one dude. ive seen MUCH better from u. i mean this was more of a cypher post to be honest, there just wasn't enough here. so i don't really know what u expect for feed on this. anyways the content was pretty boring to be real, yes it flowed gnaw ur bladder was cool but other than that it didn't do anything for me lol.. whatever its a key. enjoy ur writtens substantially more than this. ill peep ur collan with geno now

Exis · 02-05-2014, 10:42 PM

@CopyPat nigga your borin' lol...nah good looks Idk why I dropped this tbh blame the alcohol, and yeah I never write anythin' man just key shit up...gotta take the good with the bad in that regard I guess.I'll get at your latest before the days out, thanks always for feedin' my stuff fam it's appreciated.

02-01-2014, 10:32 AM	#1
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,938 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	Uhuh Ayo, I'm that awesome rapper you've the gall to blabber amongst a board of masters when your small in stature watch me gnaw your bladder and have you pissin' yourself in a really awkward manner I'm what causes havoc where important matters get addressed directly in the rawest fashion I'll have your jaw a crackin' 'fore you've stepped to test me should've grown a set of testes 'fore that thought had happened or atleast pretend your deadly like this forums baddest manufactured poorly, you's an assembled dead beat in the purest form of wackness and since I mainly talk thru actions I'll leave you fractured surely as to attack with cruelty is just a force of habit I'm morbid, graphic an erected mortar blastin' knockin' you from off of your high horse for bein' no more than average.

02-01-2014, 11:11 PM	#3
Certain Mad fucking dangerous. Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 12,072 Battle Record: 40-19 Champed - AOWL Season 3 - Art of Writing League (2x) Rep Power: 85899403	This wasn't my favorite submission of yours. There were a few awkward spots both within the rhymes and within the content itself, particularly the "you've" in the second line. But mostly, the rhymes weren't complex enough to balance out the relatively simple content. A punchline or more graphic or original quotable of some sort would have helped this quite a bit. But I've seen plenty better from you, so I'm thinking this was mostly just a quick flex. __________________ I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws.

02-02-2014, 12:07 PM	#4
Dove Dozer loose leaf bruce lee Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 1,079 Battle Record: 7-6 Rep Power: 1853213	It was decent. Felt like multies for the sake of it. not bad though __________________

02-02-2014, 12:10 PM	#5
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,330 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036758	Dope shit exis. Sup with that collab, have you checked ur pm's? Lemme know if you fuck with it or not Holla __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

02-04-2014, 10:10 AM	#9
Just Write Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 1,709 Battle Record: 9-12 Rep Power: 4997614	watch me gnaw your bladder yo that's hella suspect right there my dude lmao, nah this was dope, enjoyed the last 4-5 lines the most, stay at it bro and thanks for peepin my verse. peace __________________

02-02-2014, 09:10 PM	#6
Dope girl Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: I live in Florida Posts: 4,707 Battle Record: 3-8 Rep Power: 55521416	This was very good to read, you had some nice multies & great flow.

02-04-2014, 07:10 AM	#7
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,938 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	Lol @ Certain...if this was simple what do you call hers?^^ Thanks bitches.

02-04-2014, 07:18 AM	#8
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,938 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	And @Genocide ...I replyed you ages back nigga.

02-05-2014, 04:58 PM	#10
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 707 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742222	hahha quick lil key obviously. u seemed bored on this one dude. ive seen MUCH better from u. i mean this was more of a cypher post to be honest, there just wasn't enough here. so i don't really know what u expect for feed on this. anyways the content was pretty boring to be real, yes it flowed gnaw ur bladder was cool but other than that it didn't do anything for me lol.. whatever its a key. enjoy ur writtens substantially more than this. ill peep ur collan with geno now __________________ My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete.

02-05-2014, 10:42 PM	#11
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,938 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	@CopyPat nigga your borin' lol...nah good looks Idk why I dropped this tbh blame the alcohol, and yeah I never write anythin' man just key shit up...gotta take the good with the bad in that regard I guess.I'll get at your latest before the days out, thanks always for feedin' my stuff fam it's appreciated.