Thoughts of mine

Abakus · 02-27-2014, 09:08 PM

........
im never awake just a sentient shape of a humanoid
wasted in sessions i blaze till i lose my voice
they gesticulate im a lazy and stupid boy
just cos i graze in the haze with hugest joints
now its making me too annoyed
like playing your favourite tunes while you hate on my music choice!

so im expending my hatred and venting my rage
at my pallid reflection im met with disdain
my eyes are crimson yet empty and glazed
and cold as the wind in december that trembles your frame

my pen full of flames has evolved into a robot spy
cos everything i write on this site will get stolen by
soulless types with frozen hearts sittin on their thrones of ice
so everytime i hold a mic im feeling like they go to bite
with open wide mandibles, damaging like cobra strikes
so roll the dice and the play the game its fair to say you know the price..

Hush · 03-01-2014, 05:35 PM

Last part was crazy

Ur dope

oats · 03-01-2014, 06:16 PM

surprised to see this, good shit. the rhyming was crisp, good rhythm to it, overall a nice 16

CRB · 03-01-2014, 07:28 PM

soulless types with frozen hearts sittin on their thrones of ice
so everytime i hold a mic im feeling like they go to bite
with open wide mandibles, damaging like cobra strikes
so roll the dice and the play the game its fair to say you know the price..

^^
I like that alot it had everything u needed for a closer

Paradigm · 03-05-2014, 02:35 PM

some vocab felt a little forced, a few grammar mistakes made a few lines awkward but overall the content was cool and was a solid piece

02-27-2014, 09:08 PM	#1
Abakus Upstart Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: Derby, UK Posts: 9 Rep Power: 54	Thoughts of mine ........ im never awake just a sentient shape of a humanoid wasted in sessions i blaze till i lose my voice they gesticulate im a lazy and stupid boy just cos i graze in the haze with hugest joints now its making me too annoyed like playing your favourite tunes while you hate on my music choice! so im expending my hatred and venting my rage at my pallid reflection im met with disdain my eyes are crimson yet empty and glazed and cold as the wind in december that trembles your frame my pen full of flames has evolved into a robot spy cos everything i write on this site will get stolen by soulless types with frozen hearts sittin on their thrones of ice so everytime i hold a mic im feeling like they go to bite with open wide mandibles, damaging like cobra strikes so roll the dice and the play the game its fair to say you know the price..

03-01-2014, 05:35 PM	#2
Hush NJ Devil Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 12,042 Battle Record: Who Cares Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Rep Power: 84181417	Last part was crazy Ur dope __________________ Bed stuy fly Bushwick sick East ny walk

03-01-2014, 06:16 PM	#3
oats Steel Cut Join Date: May 2013 Posts: 5,076 Battle Record: 19-10 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Fight Night LXXXIV - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 79005425	surprised to see this, good shit. the rhyming was crisp, good rhythm to it, overall a nice 16 __________________ You should be water

03-01-2014, 07:28 PM	#4
CRB Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2014 Posts: 17 Rep Power: 0	soulless types with frozen hearts sittin on their thrones of ice so everytime i hold a mic im feeling like they go to bite with open wide mandibles, damaging like cobra strikes so roll the dice and the play the game its fair to say you know the price.. ^^ I like that alot it had everything u needed for a closer __________________ My ass hurts

03-05-2014, 02:35 PM	#5
Paradigm ___________ Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: California Posts: 1,989 Battle Record: 4-4 Champed - The Ultimate Textcee - NBL Cypher Rep Power: 11033509	some vocab felt a little forced, a few grammar mistakes made a few lines awkward but overall the content was cool and was a solid piece