Tristitia (Dolor)

[Kold Breeze]

Drownin, feelin low, alone like a track from Tech n9ne/
pain, raging thru my veins, walk with an upset mind/
.9 pointed at my skull, holy water, bless mine/
this a real sight to see, never seen the dead cryin/
dead broke, wallet moanin, lookin like the walkin dead/
pray to God, maybe he kould help, angels chalk my head/
feet draggin, watch the crack pipes where the fallen fed/
pain killer, when you think its pills, its what we callin lead/
hunger pains, lookin like a skelly, dressed all in red/
'why dont you get a job?' Is what the stupid ppl often said/
hold ya tongue, they rather see you sleep in coffin bed/
they think this shyt is easy, like nigguhs chose to be broke/
so they kould sit home, drink, and o.d. offa weed smoke/
like I'm happy seeing my kids, livin offa hand outs, smilin with they hands out/
A nigguh gettin mad now/
pass the .9 or .22, I'm bout to run up in a fool, separate him frum his hands now, what you wanna do?/
a fool and skrilla soon parted, and for real, a nigguh starvin/
to the wind, I throw kaution, get that bitch up outta here/
prayin with God over my shoulder like I brought him here/
unless you been in this situation, you dont kno honest fear/
until its you starin down my gun, with me skreamin 'thats all in here?'/
deranged look in my eye, breath smellin like rotten beer/
nose like a serpent's tongue, I can sense that the dollars near/
or bullets kould leave your stomach swoll like african children who swallow air.......

[Kold Breeze]

http://netcees.co/showthread.php?p=1...d=1#post133989

[YDK]

not too bad bruh but stop with the k's aint nobody here gonna bang wit ya for using a c cuz lmao
overall it flowed good an had decent content but the rhymes were kinda simple and the topic itself has been done a ton of times, not to say you dont have a different take or opinion on it but it wasnt conveyed as well as you could have. not bad at all though just could use a little rewording for stronger emotional output and rhymeschemes.
keep droppin bruh