Two Facing The Truth

[Mitch]

I know your will will work,
cus' i watched it all fall.
Regeneration, building better,
Strengthening my communication,.

Grown, A silence escapes,
my dying brain.
Knowing, accepting, corrected.
Defining, acknowledging, changing.
But I'm losing faith in
myself, and you, and I
don't get why you wont let me die,
love is a burden i don't expect,
I never show enough, but what I know to show is death,
The feeling, the hatred, accepting,
coming to terms with the burns,
to long, too hard, in the fire.
I never pushed you in.
I never made you dive.
I never smothered your desires.
Flooded your mind with my thoughts.
I'm the only god, we're liars.
I'm tired of being tired,
of being asleep. Awake in the flames,
I'll find my fate, fan my faith, and fix it.

I know my will will work,
cus' I watched it all fall.
Regeneration, building better,
Strengthening my communication,.

Growing, a silence is born
in my shining mind.
Forgetting, Rejecting, Confusing,
Confining, Regretting, shifting.
And i'm gaining faith in
something, and you, and I.
Don't let me tell you that I'm fine.
Love is a certainty you can never escape.
I show enough to let you know I'm holding back.
The feeling. The sacred, rejecting,
coming to terms in your words.
Two gone, too far from your right,
I never rushed you kid.
I never made you drive.
I'm never running your tires.
Flooded your engine with oil,
I'm your only option, we're awful.
I'm tired of being tired,
of being awake. Asleep in your dream,
You'll find my fate, frame my faith, and fuck it.

[JESODIST]

Kinda gives me the feeling like you had a little more left to say.
Nice rhyme structure took me a few reads to find the flow.
Check mines out when you got time homie.

[UnbornBuddha]

This was okay. The flow was hard to find, although you did apply that pause and go, pause and go kind of flow quite efficiently. It felt like it lacked something, and that something is perhaps this writings and insignia of you. I've read others pieces of you, and though you apply different styles, there is still a flavor, a spice that makes this writings uniquely yours. And though this are your thoughts, the way you exemplified this work seems as if you weren't completely into the work. Meaning you didn't put your whole heart into this piece. Also you also did end quite suddenly, as if there was words still lodged in your throat that you decided was best left unsaid.

Keep writing, I enjoy your presence, and your musings.

[Vulgar]

This seemed like more an exercise than a piece you put any serious passion into. Almost every line could be reworded in some way, creating an interesting blueprint; if you wanted to revise this from the ground up, you'd really see how your editing skills are developing. I also thought it was okay; not riveting but not boring either.

Keep doing you