ITT tell us about your day, only do it like bags

[Sharp]

ok bros

so last night was my one roommate's 21st n we had a little gathering at our apartment before midnight for him and i git paired with the stupidest fucker for pong. like the guy who got tall b4 every1 else in high schol n became the bball teams star player by defalt. since i aint played in over a year (respectable adults STAND UPP) i ask this mongoloid of a human for a quick refresher on how the island rule works... which he proceeds to answer in detail while reciting EVERY FUCKING RULE OF PONG... n im just like OKAY THANK YOU I THINK I GET IT... O NO I APPRECIATE THE REFRESHER BUT U KNO IVE PLAYED THIS BEFOR RIGHT?... OKAY NO UR RIGHT GOLIATH I DONT WANN LOSE EITHER JUST LET ME MISS THIS REAL FAST.... n we inevitably lose the first game but in the redemption round the fukcer tries to do a bounce shot because he didnt know hed get the ball.back if he makes 1... O NO ITS OKAY WE ALL FORGET SOMETIMES... LEMME JUST GET A FEW DRINKS IN ME SO I GET BETTER..so i drown my frustration in rum n coke and carry the team to a 3-3 record. then i pass out til 11 am cause all my profs are at some conference they 'strogly encouraged us to attend'...fuck that... i go to take my morning piss n find a wad of toilet paper and lysol on the sink n some cristed vomit around the toilte bowl n realize our poor boy didnt have th paper towles to claen it proerly. so i get dressed n walk folm my aparrtment to thi campus'' shitty grOcery store which is 1 room of overpriced snakcs, toiiletries and condoms cause i didnt feel like.driving to giant. its just me an some middle aged black man with a weary look in his eye that can only come from tryint o suport 3 kids byt working the shitty job selliNg $7 boxEs of frosted flaks to college kids, most of whom will go on to make more money in 2 years than his middle school diploma wIll for the rest of his life. since i dont know the store i cant find shit so i ask... EXCUSE ME... JAMAL? ROLLO? TYSON? WHOEVER U R???... YEAH, DO YOU HAVE ANY PAPER TOWERLS? OH RIGHT THERE IN THW HIDDEN CORNER OF THE ROOM? GOOD PLACEMENT... NO I UNDERSTAND THE SUOUP OF DTHE DAY NEEDS THE SPOTLIGHT AND GOD FORBID WE PUT THE PIZZA BAGELS EVEN FARTHER FROM THE DOOR... so i go to check out an hes puttin on uncle tom banter thatd make dlbs haert sing like... MAN YOU HAD SOME KINDA PARTY THE OTHER NITE N UR COMIN IN HERE FOR PAPER TO CLEANN IT UP???... n im like yeah haha... roomate's birthday n all... I SEE YOU KID... HAVE A NICE TIME???... yes we did... well thanks for asking abt my going-ons but ive gotta go study so i dont tirn into u... HAVE A NICE DAY YUNG BLOOD... so i get bck, throw my paper towels onn the kitchen counter and log into netcees to find some stupid bitch needs his password reset cause he gave it out like a retard :)