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05-08-2013, 07:15 PM
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Facts Only
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 119
Rep Power: 0   |
Old Me.
"There goes anotha weekend i can't recall at all
The K2's got me dreamin & sleepin i'm noddin off Thinknin of getttin money i'm dedicated to ball Don't need no wishin well my misions don't fail at all Got a goal in my mind, i'm tryna grab it. but the money when i get it, i spend it to support a habit i can't have it, thats not me. anyone tryna stop me i'm poppin 3 and takin jewls but bitch i ain't no nazi. whats not to see? don't mind me rollin' with killas and alotta g's pussy boys know where i be! tell try to see and come find me." Thats the mind of little nigga whos father figure is outta the picture simple rhymes for the little mind, who pushes real problems aside take the raps out the box, out of the house nigga. i'm a free man who rhymes & expands minds, you still a house nigga! taking pills to forget whats really wrong. listening to old eminem songs like, "This is the bomb!"
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RareBoyz
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05-08-2013, 07:26 PM
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Arm the Homeless
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,102
Battle Record: 22-24
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 35079722   |
I'm glad you're droppin and I'm glad you're being active....but I've got to be a dick. Go drop feed on other OM posts. I'll give feed to this tomorow when I have more time. Stay up man.
FEED: Well you need to up your vocabulary man. That's my main complaint. Also it might be best if you tryed writing about something new instead of the same thing over and over you know what I mean? Try writing about something you never even thought about writing about before to get a spark of creativity going. That's my opinion. Keep droppin man. Last edited by Zen; 05-09-2013 at 02:41 PM. |
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05-08-2013, 07:29 PM
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#3 |
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Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 119
Rep Power: 0 |
Ahhhh fuck, yeah i will lol
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RareBoyz
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05-08-2013, 07:39 PM
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White Earl
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Philly Cat.
Posts: 12,354
Battle Record: 10-15
Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x)
Champed - Netcees Writers League
- Write Week I
- Write Week 8
Rep Power: 50036761  |
cool shit, sort of basic mechanically. Vocab is shallow -get a little deeper with it. Format is good. And like.buddha said.. drop feed, I'm posting a new rule in the forum -look for it
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-A.bove T.he R.est |
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05-08-2013, 07:55 PM
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#5 |
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Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 119
Rep Power: 0 |
i went and fed about 3 pieces like 10 min ago. but thanks for the feedback.
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RareBoyz
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