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#1 |
Arm the Homeless
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,102
Battle Record: 22-24
Champed - Art of Writing League
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lazy, lackadaisical. lately im halfly capable to maintain a crafty fable. instead, insane, happily contained and actually faithful to what's happening on facebook. a savage week of master peace smoking bags of weed. hopeless. average. weak. moments flash in scenes, motions, dragging feet. fuckin' rain. get home huffin' paint and droves of duster spray til it froze and burst my brain. burping waves of purplish haze of syrup in flurries, blurrying gaze. worries away the first time in days. it hurts, so i bide my stay. blind to the pain wiping my eyes to find the window pane to see the bride with a widows face crying, sinus broken, smoking packs of diamonds chokin'. heimlich. the omen of why your try is hopeless. women pfft. i'd try but i'd rather lie with battered wives because they fuckin' listen after i tell'em twice. bust 'em in the kitchen. swell the eyes. jkkkk!!
but seriously what if i really I beat women? would you be like, "thats not right" and keep your distance? doubt it. but i'm found on a mountain breathin' mists. it's mouth a fountain of deep existence where i crouch and see it's riches pour out beneath my vision. pouting, demons twitching. fleeting mentions of knowledge, philosophic college of toxic wattage, rapped and dropped in phonics. psychotic. wise prophet. times arrived, why stop it? signs aligned, revelations of devil nations and white profits. several cases of unsettled faces wined and dined in pine boxes. makes no sense, does it? what does? take your hit. buzzin'. it's a phase you miss, so you take it again to recapture youth. afternoons spent after new hits. rocks and glass, you know the blue shit? got your cash and threw it quick for a hop to the past from the newest tricks. gone too fast. you blew it, kid. wonder what was, what is, and what was never. a lover of such luck to love none but his. none was better. but was it ever? Last edited by Zen; 03-04-2014 at 06:02 PM. |
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#2 |
Upstart
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Derby, UK
Posts: 9
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excellent use of vocab and multies. trippy bugger
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#3 |
V.V
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: .
Posts: 2,076
Battle Record: 31-20
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I want wat zen is on.
Dope display. Train-of-thought imagery is so cool ta me. Keep entertaining bro.
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Ahem. |
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#4 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 179
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I liked this a lot. Personally, I enjoy writing these kinda verses where going off on a tangent with no aim in sight, actually turns out to be a dope bit of writing. Loadsa quotables, but this was a stand out for me.....
a savage week of master peace smoking bags of weed. hopeless. average. weak. moments flash in scenes, motions, dragging feet. Nice drop dude |
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#5 |
NJ Devil
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 12,036
Battle Record: Who Cares
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
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Salute
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Bed stuy fly Bushwick sick East ny walk |
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#6 |
Arm the Homeless
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,102
Battle Record: 22-24
Champed - Art of Writing League
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*Cough*
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#7 |
_Al_GO_RYTHMIC
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 644
Battle Record: 1-3
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I really liked the beginning very flexibility and fluent. The transitions were very smooth and you had a great topic with loads of details. Great piece!
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#8 |
WOW
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,591
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vintage dullboy
that's a compliment but i wish you were vintage zenland again looking forward to seeing what you produce this upcoming week in the aowl. i hope you write on topic and ditch the paragraph style. this type of writing is fun but ultimately that's all it is. fun and games. sick flow though. it was cool and not boring so ya good stuff. pz
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