The Humans, the Birds, and the Bees...

Vulgar · 04-05-2013, 09:38 PM

The humans, the birds and the bees...

Realize the hive mind’s identity crisis -
This is a Sparta overrun by the plague, it depressed Leonidas
Hessian fly pits, measuring depth perception by death and it’s silence
You’ll wish you hadn’t been born, you Papa New Guinea pigs
You’ll damage your corneas looking for the beams of the gleaming truth
Region of beetle juice, Petri dish species as green as mosquito gloop
Now that’s a freedom coup, blessed and receptive to plunge -
Into exoskeleton dung, the never-ending dredge through intestinal scrum
Had a dirty upbringing, got no boost from the ruthless lineage
Broken home, stepping on anthills, boot-resistant
The hairs on your neck standing up like baboon dandruff supervision
NUMBER OF INSECTS KILLED DURING LIFETIME: exceeds the limit
The cockroaches you killed in self defense: seems deliberate
Why market yourself as a genocidal poster boy while touring in flea Olympus?
It’s at least intended, in the invigorating summer breeze
Anticipate discovery.
These defecating bumblebees appendix spray and lunge at me
White on white crime, albino moth arson. Scintillating subtlety.
Hovering larvae and amber moths with ovarian cysts
Brooding maggot regimes dispatching streams that gleam over armored barbarian bridge
The human soul is hardly Dartanion rich - man in the iron mosquito mask
Army carpenter’s induction to Semper Fi, or industrial genocide
barnyard harvester’s illustrious stimuli -
March from the paprika bunkers under the summit of pepper skies
“For the sins you’ve committed, justice is pesticide..."
Evil is a numbingly reddish, thunderous essonite
The slum mists are filled with the hum of the shepherd's pipes
blunderbuss from each unsung tongue which needs to be punished & rectified
To ensure that each equally valuable earth-life substance is set aside
Insectoids have rights too, one day we’ll all see microorganisms dominate
That’s why they model their societies after termites, overpopulate, overcompensate
It’s time to dethrone the walking apes & banish them to glossaries
The race that’s regarded as a bottom feeder in netherworlds steeped in parasitic colonies
If it’s embarrassing, don’t talk to me, diplomat of the preying mantis regime
Statesman of cannibal trees -
your heart is placed where the basin contaminants breed
An aging man that’s deceased after a pancreatic disease
…could NEVER say the DAMN’DEST to me.
A squire leech emerges from weeds: “We could try preserving the beasts.
We’re not so different from one another after all… except for the trials of biodiversity.
The season is nigh and the serpents are surfing the green ports
We’re nightmare catchers, dream lords, from the ground to the seafloor -
Slightly more respectful co-existential creatures revolving around the heat source”
A dreaded union, the dead festooning -
The insect race declared this antiseptic epileptic ruin of people a heathen
“They could never meet the multi-puritan guidelines of heaven’s rulings
Humans don’t resurrect as insects.
If insects go to hell, then they resurrect as humans.”

links; Nigma, Cake, Copy, deadman, Geno, Fig, Zyg

zygote · 04-07-2013, 09:57 AM

Enjoyed it a lot, can draw parallels between this one and your League one about plants. Even the wordplay is similar E.g., monarchy butterfly government - Papua New Guinea pigs. The strength came from the rich characterization of insects and the allusions to speciesism. The ending also had that reflective quality, but it was more humorous "The insect race declared this antiseptic epileptic ruin of people a heathen
“They could never meet the multi-puritan guidelines of heaven’s rulings
Humans don’t resurrect as insects.
If insects go to hell, then they resurrect as humans.” - I imagined some science fiction movie with an insectoid-biped in a suit speaking before a UN court. Feel like you have a great strength at writing these science-fiction themes, the political references every now and again also add to it.

Matriarch · 04-08-2013, 05:55 AM

your writing's a smorgasbord of colorful visuals, intriguing commentary and thoughtful metaphors presented with razor sharp diction.

You continue to impress and inspire.

:)

Quote:

A squire leech emerges from weeds: “We could try preserving the beasts.
We’re not so different from one another after all… except for the trials of biodiversity.
The season is nigh and the serpents are surfing the green ports
We’re nightmare catchers, dream lords, from the ground to the seafloor -

Zen · 04-08-2013, 01:35 PM

Wow. Just wow. You are an excellent writer. Great scheme etc. but what I loved really is this is a thought provoking piece. I don't know if others feel the same way but that's how I feel about it. Absolutely nothing negative to say about this but I have to ask how old are you? I ask because your pics in the pic battle tourney make you look young, and if you're that young then you will only get better. Great piece here man. Props.

04-05-2013, 09:38 PM	#1
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604320	The Humans, the Birds, and the Bees... The humans, the birds and the bees... Realize the hive mind’s identity crisis - This is a Sparta overrun by the plague, it depressed Leonidas Hessian fly pits, measuring depth perception by death and it’s silence You’ll wish you hadn’t been born, you Papa New Guinea pigs You’ll damage your corneas looking for the beams of the gleaming truth Region of beetle juice, Petri dish species as green as mosquito gloop Now that’s a freedom coup, blessed and receptive to plunge - Into exoskeleton dung, the never-ending dredge through intestinal scrum Had a dirty upbringing, got no boost from the ruthless lineage Broken home, stepping on anthills, boot-resistant The hairs on your neck standing up like baboon dandruff supervision NUMBER OF INSECTS KILLED DURING LIFETIME: exceeds the limit The cockroaches you killed in self defense: seems deliberate Why market yourself as a genocidal poster boy while touring in flea Olympus? It’s at least intended, in the invigorating summer breeze Anticipate discovery. These defecating bumblebees appendix spray and lunge at me White on white crime, albino moth arson. Scintillating subtlety. Hovering larvae and amber moths with ovarian cysts Brooding maggot regimes dispatching streams that gleam over armored barbarian bridge The human soul is hardly Dartanion rich - man in the iron mosquito mask Army carpenter’s induction to Semper Fi, or industrial genocide barnyard harvester’s illustrious stimuli - March from the paprika bunkers under the summit of pepper skies “For the sins you’ve committed, justice is pesticide..." Evil is a numbingly reddish, thunderous essonite The slum mists are filled with the hum of the shepherd's pipes blunderbuss from each unsung tongue which needs to be punished & rectified To ensure that each equally valuable earth-life substance is set aside Insectoids have rights too, one day we’ll all see microorganisms dominate That’s why they model their societies after termites, overpopulate, overcompensate It’s time to dethrone the walking apes & banish them to glossaries The race that’s regarded as a bottom feeder in netherworlds steeped in parasitic colonies If it’s embarrassing, don’t talk to me, diplomat of the preying mantis regime Statesman of cannibal trees - your heart is placed where the basin contaminants breed An aging man that’s deceased after a pancreatic disease …could NEVER say the DAMN’DEST to me. A squire leech emerges from weeds: “We could try preserving the beasts. We’re not so different from one another after all… except for the trials of biodiversity. The season is nigh and the serpents are surfing the green ports We’re nightmare catchers, dream lords, from the ground to the seafloor - Slightly more respectful co-existential creatures revolving around the heat source” A dreaded union, the dead festooning - The insect race declared this antiseptic epileptic ruin of people a heathen “They could never meet the multi-puritan guidelines of heaven’s rulings Humans don’t resurrect as insects. If insects go to hell, then they resurrect as humans.” links; Nigma, Cake, Copy, deadman, Geno, Fig, Zyg

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04-07-2013, 09:57 AM	#2
zygote Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 501 Battle Record: 33-12 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Art of Writing League (3x) Rep Power: 737828	Enjoyed it a lot, can draw parallels between this one and your League one about plants. Even the wordplay is similar E.g., monarchy butterfly government - Papua New Guinea pigs. The strength came from the rich characterization of insects and the allusions to speciesism. The ending also had that reflective quality, but it was more humorous "The insect race declared this antiseptic epileptic ruin of people a heathen “They could never meet the multi-puritan guidelines of heaven’s rulings Humans don’t resurrect as insects. If insects go to hell, then they resurrect as humans.” - I imagined some science fiction movie with an insectoid-biped in a suit speaking before a UN court. Feel like you have a great strength at writing these science-fiction themes, the political references every now and again also add to it.

04-08-2013, 01:35 PM	#4
Zen Arm the Homeless Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,102 Battle Record: 22-24 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 35079722	Wow. Just wow. You are an excellent writer. Great scheme etc. but what I loved really is this is a thought provoking piece. I don't know if others feel the same way but that's how I feel about it. Absolutely nothing negative to say about this but I have to ask how old are you? I ask because your pics in the pic battle tourney make you look young, and if you're that young then you will only get better. Great piece here man. Props.