Week 17 Mini Mag - What I Lack in Content I Make Up For in Moving Pictures from Google Images

[Sharp]

[Intro]

Alright you ungrateful fuckwits, I'ma have to do another mini mag because last week couldn't get done before the weekend. Srs. Game of Thrones Sunday night thru any gigs I have Fri/Sat I am swamped. Gimme time and you get a full mag. We're definitely moving forward but as of now you get a Sharp rant sesh and a Bagatron mini mag. We moved the league up a day with voting but you fuckers gotta do that one more time for Sunday. Still got a little bit of hot fiyah for you like




If You're tryna listen to fresh hip hop while reading:





If you're tryna listen to the craziest hip hop you'll hear til my next mag:






[Week 16 Recap]

What a roller coaster. Joe Boston posted some gay porn and had some serious ups and downs afterwards... n I'm not even talking about his emotional turmoil.

Gay porn barzz for days becoming weeks at this point uhnnn

Barcotic was probably mad about something. Habitat was in the middle of exposing our NC inner voting circle and combating it by voting exclusively for RB heads before being exposed as Fresh. (Lemme save you the trouble of searching and coming up with nothing of note – Fresh is nothing of note but a female rat's face attached to an anemic “human” body who's dating the butch lesbian version of Link from legend of Zelda).



Bags probably said some bullshit and Des backed him up. Or vice versa. Some dudes who we'll inevitably forget about noshowed and will never be heard from again. Cashius beat jilti in the champ match and moves on to his next opponent, Mr Schadenfreude.


[Where the FUCK are you?]




Beleive me, I know more than enough about all of you pud wranglers signed in but I've gotta get more people in here if we really wanna come close to what we had last season. And there are some dope heads just floating around, apparently waiting for the lime carpet to be rolled out for them like...

@ill nik-A @Tic @Hush @the rest of the 'I've already made the playoffs' crew
@Alvin Karpis @Beyond @karaoke @the others who are always watching
@Muff @Joe Metts @Allen Knight @the dudes too cool for text battles but still leading sad enough lives to be posting on these forums
@Joe Boston's dignity – never signed into the league but would be nice to have around
@Barcotic's battle that ended in a tie – I've heard so much about it but still ain't seen it
@some complete newbs/lower tier battlers from other sites who think Des being old is groundbreaking material for barzz
@eddie's next alias for him to lose his identity in
@a mid-tier battler's alias who doesn't gain enough enough traction for us to give a shit who it is


You see any of these assholes you give em a shout for me




[Lime Bulletin: NBL PSA]

In case you missed resident character @Aero's thread (but how could you miss the inevitable 5000 view thread????) he has promised $10 to the top NBL verse this week. How it will be decided, I do not know, and I completely doubt that it is legitimate, but nows the chance for you to separate yourself from the pack AND come away with ten whole dollars (after paypal fees if this actually happens which it probably won't). Happy texting.

Originally Posted by Aero

I'll give the best verse in the NBL this week $10. That should let you know I'm not kidding.

[Verse Superlatives]


The "If it weren't for that one bar..." Verse

Originally Posted by Kenny the OG

Artifice becomes orifice.. holes in a body I'll menace u
Dump & reload 10 times, the magazine-kicks & u get all tennis shoes
U entered a sterile room, probably like "what that mean?"
as soon as u step to me barrels come out then u gettin aired out clean
My sounds off the wall like bats using echo location
U got a face made for radio, my gun'll air it across several stations
U must be high art, full of pipe dreams its time I unravel
Not modern art, a mod urn'd art with a cremation disguised as a battle
pls no Kenny
I'll make it look like a drug buy, framed wit perfect amounts
pin a gram on the floor by him then fire like a devil worshippers house
Id merk u wit throwaways, so don't dare me to rumble
my first draft would smoke u without the help of Laremy Tunsil

The "Run on and on and on and on and on" Verse:

Originally Posted by Joe Boston

14 @Sharp

Your from a school of pussies just get da fuc out my face
Come to Boston College,Player 2 9 poppin watch u die young like Ron Brace
Left me with a bitter taste about u your that certain type of gay
If i see the bitch that raised u May 8 hit her body so u can mourn this Mothers Day
Play with his emotions on the daily if he continues to talk that gunplay
Id even ask his Bird Man she say u dumb af how u gonna get respect with a K
Your wife says u dont pay one bill in the crib its a disgrace how u live
She suppose to manage with Sharp Chedda? broke fuck cant even keep Cracker Barrel in the fridge
Are your kids straight whens the last time they ate? this deadbeats never in sight
Wife knows ur saving balance zero so dont go to the bank teller u fucking stumble at life
U living trife when the last time u smelled that drug money
If i pulled out my gun Andrew, Jackson for everything even take his face off for that twenty
Bring nothing new to the table flipping old shit and its funny
Hand him a Pure L fag probably rub it over himself like Danny Devito in Always Sunny

The "blah blah blah Like blah blah" Verse:

Originally Posted by Blam Newton

This faggot's got tough skin but doesn't know we see his mom when we be clubbin'.
If I made it rain, that old bitch would be all over the money like Harriet Tubman.
When it's time for war, you get as quiet as a fucking mouse.
I'll run up in ur crib and have that Lil Uzi blastin' everywhere like it's Hush's house.
If I spend a couple of minutes with your wifey, her toes might curl.
I'll let off a few shots and have this pussy covered in maggots like the blow fly girl.
How the fuck did u get out of jail so fast? You've been locked up a hundred times.
You're like Kevin Love in "Meet the Hoopers", just dropping a bunch of dimes.
I've been the gun bar king, leave Cred in a box like some new kicks.
U'd think I was trying to earn a merit badge when u see the fire come from 2 sticks.

control yourself nigga


The "God dammit I read that whole thing and will never get that time back. On my dying day, this will be my greatest regret" Verse:

Originally Posted by Habitat

RIP you no pussy getting faggot

Aaayyooooooo
Dawg, the ho's don't respect you...

with women ur just Aladdin trouble like a scene with jafar
If a bitch ever say "I'd hit that" she means with her car
this lame winning against anyone's a robbery, u're a disgrace and a failure
If someone ever con-verse? It'll be of his life when I stomp his face with my taylors

we can't wait for ur shit to be hidden, that's rightfully chutzpah
the only Arch I've been a part of, was the uppercut that shattered your glass jaw
as a matter a fact brah, u shouldn't be here and it's truly blatant
his work's so scorned that a lifelong Banana deletion would suit this fruity faggot
ur verses' are so horrid it should be criminal to look at em
if Addenda career, it's because @Detective Mike Hunt, NCPD threw the book at him
as a parent I heard you're really shittin' the bed
those kids better get fedora cap is the answer when I place a hit on ya head


12

Highlights from the "Damn, Bro" Verse:

Originally Posted by Cashius

He'll bleed through shirts...I'd pay soooo much scratch just to see him squirtin'
Empty two then put a whole nother round in this clown...That's a three ring circus
Cash is a Venture Capitalist...Got a business idea? You can talk to my broker
You broke faggot...You need a Start Up Campaign just to get your car to turn over
Shots at your whole entourage...Jesus, you don't have a chance
I'll put the barrel to your dogs chest like they're saving people from an avalanche
I bet he's a queen. Every single night he's giving head on his knees
He's a fag, watch...He be taking more back shots than Kenny the G
Scope on that long nose...I'd run or grab a few more heaters
Cause if I catch you in my Saitama shoot your face til' no one knows who you are either

[Interview With Schadenfreude]


Yooooooo Sharp NINE, NBL's perennial Cap'n Save-a-ho reporting live with the Contender of the week, Mr Schadenfreude. Sup bro?

What's happ'n Cap'n? Most def deserve some repped for saving this festering ass league..lol.

I have to be perfectly honest, until I took over I had no idea who you are. At this point I just know you've been on B boys under the same name but that's it. For those of us that aren't educated in The Life and Times of Schadenfreude, can you give us a little introduction?

Yea I started on BBoys damn near 10 years ago, was just a lil kid tbh. Learned a lot, developed my bars, then moved over to RapMusic & champed for a bit, before girls, high school & jobs took away my attention. Now I'm back into this retarded subculture.

Obviously you're trying to go from Contender of the week to NBL champion but you've got to get through Cashius first. What you have to say to people who are already writing you off as an easy win?

*Shoulder strug* Doesn't really matter, win or lose I'll continue to write what I like, overthinking & trying to write for other ppl will fuck u up. I write for the betterment of Self. Shit's just a hobby..lol.

Let me get your opinion on the league in general because I've been out for a minute. What's going well? What would you like to see differently? Anything you would add?

It's pretty good, just needs consistency. That alone will keep the talent around & enthused.

Give me your top text Battlers all time.

Tough because tbh, I barely remember niggas & this isn't a GOAT list, just my favorite writers - Butler, KungFuGrip, Richard Corey, Calefaction, MetaSin, Sept Jr., Sephiroth in no particular order. I'm forgetting a lot of dudes tho.

In this NBL season, who has impressed you? Who's being slept on and who do you think will champ the season-ending tourney?

Other than the NCGs Orc, Hush, Nik, dudes like Inf, Cashius, Pinot Grij were/are nasty.

What's your take on all these melodramatic subplots that have developed in the last few weeks?

WTF w/ all the faggotry & bickering? And I'm wondering what happened to BoyBand aka Orc, hope fool's all well.

What do you think will be the next big text beef or controversy to arise?
Well I'm an eternal optimist so: Cro will stop being so emotionally invested. Zelph will develop two whole NORMAL lips. Joe will come out the closet. Ppl will stop falling victim to the TrollGod that is Bags & I'll go undefeated for the rest of the season & playoffs.

Alright bro thanks for doing this interview. Good luck in the champ match. I'm giving you the floor for the last word to say whatever you want.

I don't give a fuck how u pronounce my name, just pronounce me the Winner.


Editor's note: correct pronunciation can be found here:





WTF



WTF @ Me starting to write mags again
WTF @ this section not being written by Allen Knight
WTF @ that dude AK not having time to do shit as an admin but taking the time to turn zelph into a txt dic
WTF @ some of these dudes like Adverse killing it even though I never heard of them before last week
WTF @ voting happening without me bitching at you forever
WTF @ Barcotic vs Des vs Habitat vs Bags vs Zelph vs Allen Knight vs real life
WTF @ Joe Boston getting separation anxiety from the free W's you get after 200 posts on RB



[Outro]


There you have it. Expect video mags courtesy of @Bags' reckless driving habits and more writing from me if votes come in sooner. Keep doing what you been doing n we'll see how it goes