04-27-2016, 09:38 PM | #1 |
Tsk Tsk
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Week 9 Contenders Match: (3-0) Adverse vs. (3-1) MMLP (ADVERSE WINS 4-1)
Season 6 Verses are due Monday 5/2 11:59 PST Voting ends Wednesday 5/4 11:59 PST Verses May Not Exceed 48 Lines Voting on four battles is required. If you win and don't vote the requirement you will receive a loss instead. If you lose and don't vote the requirement, you will receive a one-week suspension. Please post links to your four votes in the voting thread. Topic: The roar of the crowd has always been the sweetest music. It's intoxicating. G/Luck @MMLP @Adverse
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I'm tryna fuck like A-don-is TUPAC SHAKUR Last edited by asylum; 05-05-2016 at 11:54 PM. |
05-02-2016, 04:38 PM | #2 |
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A genius. Formerly the artist inspired to write on the spot.
He already had started on his climb to the top but the level Michael was on when a chorus would hit was reigniting the pop culture from the slump it was in. But it was causing a rift between a few main attractions. The master pulling the strings who slowly raised his status displaying an array of talents jumping from piano to guitars. His stage was the canvas he entered as a superstar. With a singing accent too bizarre just seemed a man voicing restrain Perhaps a shrewd facade and just a ploy that he'd make. Maybe the flamboyance displayed had him left raged in distress Then again, choices were made not to forget statements in jest. Telling him MJ is the best, so all this writings for nothing. So the best way to address it is with mindless assumptions that were highlighted in public spats when questioned by press. Obvious signs of begrudging and his mental strength was assessed. So in desperate attempts, more and more tours were announced. He let it get to his head and worked himself more in the ground. But in his prime, his form was renowned, even the floor and seats were moving for him the roar of the crowd should have been the sweetest music. As we cheered to it, and crowds would sing a long but the fact was eating through him that he isn't the one to hit the top. Pussy Control, Purple Rain, 1999... Literally the list goes on but he just could never let it slip. He wanted to be the 'King of Pop' but will only be remembered as the Prince! Last edited by MMLP; 05-02-2016 at 04:40 PM. |
05-02-2016, 07:45 PM | #3 |
low tide in serotonin bay
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Everybody's a Critic
The curtains open up to a dark background I sit in my chair with my back to the crowd.. Asking myself rhetorical questions, horribly obsessed With the negatives finding which fault to pick next A mirror appears and I ask "why do I exist?" Am I just an actor given god's watered down script? Or is heaven even real?" My head begins to tilt As I chug another whiskey shot to descend another pill The questions keep coming while the answers gettin' scarce I rub my head, wipe my sweat and stand up from the chair I pace the wood floor like I don't got sanity intact As the audience claps for my anxiety attack... Hands grasping my head, pleading the voices to quiet But they keep torturing, I raise my voice and get violent These recalcitrant demons keep my eyelids ripped open at night Tumultuous, I remain to myself like a ghost out of sight I hide behind the curtains, the spectators clap and applaud Fingers crossed that when it retracts they'll all be gone But after a brief intermission, and a changing of the props I'm thrust out back on stage, as angry as i'm lost... Trudging around the scene, I throw the vanity down.. Destroy the banister throwing pieces towards the fans in the crowd I'm like an animal now, removed from its cage and confused The look on their faces is amused, this place is basically a zoo Telling them this burden chained to me, ain't shit it's just a ruse No matter what I do they'll still degrade me in reviews I fall to the floor letting out a deep and saddened breath Back to my feet, pull out the chair that's at the desk The panic is dead, i've accepted this dilemma... They want a story of misery and tragedy, i'm their presenter So I turn my seats towards the pondering eyes of the crowd Confused by it all dying down, the violence subsiding and then POW! The plot thickens as I run a blade across my scarred wrists n' Blood drips, wonder how they'd react knowing this was nonfiction? That I was about to fall victim to the monster that was supposed to stay hidden Scarlet tears rain from my vein in sorrow for my vain existence The audience stands amazed, applauding my insane depiction Of their maimed protagonist, floored with an agonized face I reach forward as the drapes close, the final act of the play... They grab their coats and start leaving, the evening's through I lay in solitude, slowly bleeding out in that cathedral room Funny, I wore a smile my whole life that they couldn't see through And then when I finally showed them my pain, it was much TOO believable |
05-03-2016, 02:43 AM | #4 |
The Clown Prince
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MMLP, I really enjoyed the touch of magic you spun in this.
you worked the topic nicely & really created a fun image. there is a common riff between these 2 as far as musical craft but most enthusiasts would swear the proof is in the fans. apples & oranges, two different levels of artistry expressed that is the fun part of having different tastes, awkwardly said. I enjoy the flow in which you showcased, this shit is smooth its good to see you back..that musical divide flip is cool. Adverse, you bring up a topic I spoke about this past weekend. which makes it cool that you used it, the flow pattern is decent you keep a steady build up throughout the whole verse that works. the quick line & syllable count make it enjoyable word for word. a lot of people take the abstract route but the direct approach is smooth after the first 20 lines I felt like my mind was just coasting though. you crafted a well knit quilt that wrapped me up as I read on. welcome to the show partna, call him baby & put some respeck on em... v/Adverse, I really enjoyed both verses & their approach if MMLP wrote an extra 10 lines Id gauge this match very close. & yet Adverse came with a 4 course meal that hit hard & fast I was quickly immersed in his story no matter where I started at. it was a long piece but it was well worth the read for a contenders match both brought some heat though, thats word to slender man.
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05-04-2016, 01:26 PM | #5 |
past tense
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Mmlp, you're like the joeboston of topicals sometimes, only you're not wack, you're coherent and pretty dope. Always up on new events and whatnot. Anyways, I felt the first 4 lines were dope, and the last 4. Take everything else out and I prolly would've been left with the same feeling. Too much random rhyme filler trying to make a verse unfold that didn't have an idea as to how it will progress other than the ending. Solid thought and ambition, just the execution wasnt there.
Adverse. Dope concept, smooth manipulation of the mind of the audience. Awesome. Sorry if this concept relates to something that just happened I don't catch the news headlines too often unless it's NBA or NFL lol. Wish you would've came with better wording at times the first read in particular was tough to get through IMO. V/ adverse |
05-04-2016, 09:40 PM | #6 | |
rockkFresh
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MMLP, I think I would've liked it more if you kept things subtle. I felt like, from the jump, you told us what the topic was and that just made things predictable / made things feel like filler. Although, I thought the whole King of Pop / Prince flip was pretty dope. Good rhyming and all that bullshit, I just felt like you could've wrote the same thing, been more low key about it, and let me be like, 'ohhh he's talking 'bout Prince', but Nah.
Adverse, I literally enjoyed the whole second half more than the first, which is a good thing for you. I really didn't like the beginning half, but the second part got me into it. Quote:
vAdverse |
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05-05-2016, 01:16 AM | #7 |
SYRACUSE
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Cool battle, I thought MMLP had a funny take on it but maybe it was a bit too cliche. Getting into Prince's mind and writing like that was cool though, just thought you could've switched the narration up a bit, maybe use a different point of view to tell the story like first person...it was good but not as good as your animal story IMO, which was dope.
I thought adverse had a cool verse. It was pretty fleshed out and seemed to have a strong current connecting the whole. It seemed like a mental monologue/dream sequence where he's displaying himself to the audience. The verse had a sort of soul to it you can't deny, it was cool yet maybe it would've been helped with a jarring sequence or two sprinkled in to change pace a bit. Overall nice battle. V/ adverse
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05-05-2016, 02:40 AM | #8 |
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MVGT MMLP
Fitting subject matter. Perfect timing. R.I.P Prince. Pardon.my brevity. Thanks for the read.
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