Chrysalis Mind

[Witty]

Chock-a-bloc in my mind, there is nothing but lines
Which reside in boxes of rhymes, locked from inside
As I’m watching the time, on the clock, as it chimes
I’m lost, so I hide, in these thoughts and this pride
Taught not to confide, scared somewhat, I complied
Until my cries formed a clot, began rotting…and died.
My thoughts have been tied in a knot and inscribed
‘Mr Hyde’...obviously property of my naughtier side
Imprisoned in this chrysalis mind, I twist and I cry
Its mission designed to keep me wishing I’d die
The incision to the fission, keeps the vision alive
Nutrition derived from spirits within the deprived
Sinister eyes glimmer within from sin and despise
The lies that litter my mind grow bigger in size.
…I struggle to see, muddled in the puzzles of me
I stumble in subtle deceit, and its puddles are deep
Covered in grief, I come up from its troublesome sea
…

I see the light; a little piece of peace in sight,
My eyes feast, set free from the beasts inside
No priest, they’ve ceased, I do not need a guide
The fearsome tide has died, as my tears subside
I breathe, as my brain is freed from evil and pain
Feeling relieved, I again begin believing I’m sane
The breeze isn’t freezing, the season has changed
As the diseased and profane leaves with the rain
A vicious attack on my prison, my chrysalis cracks
Dogmatism ridden, optimism glistens, my vision is back
True Love is why all of my struggles and troubles die
Looking up to the summer sky, I soar above...like a butterfly.


@Certain @PancakeBrah @Split @Zen @CopyPat @Wise Wiggles @quaker oats @Useless

[Plot]

He's the best Jerry, the best I tell you.

[Witty]

:)

[david stern razor burns]

Hello Witty, and thank you for your support.
I felt that this verse was pretty solid in every aspect, but not outstanding in any.
It certainly rolled off the tongue and was very fluid, but almost to the point of being a little boring and repetitive. I think the verse could have used more diversity in terms of the scheming just to hold interest.
Nonetheless, the idea of the piece itself(along with some nice imagery) was quite interesting, and the development of the story up to the awakening was unique and original.
I'm glad you're still active in this section. Thanks!

[Void]

David Stern's post amount rhymes with his location multis.

[Cimmerian]

The flow was slick.

I particular liked this couplet:

Originally Posted by Witty

My thoughts have been tied in a knot and inscribed
‘Mr Hyde’...obviously property of my naughtier side

Keep doing.

Cimm.

[Witty]

Thank you :)