broken walls

[big baby]

there’s lies that i tell, with no repercussion in sight
roll over for the fall out. mushroom smoke destruction tonight
blood on the vinyl, the stylus goes over it every time
i heard a whisper that others swear i made up in my mind
i mean, i’m sorry. i’m apologizing for apologies sake
anthology of poems, that i swore i never created
signature, me. my hand writing becomes sloppy by noon
hollow out the wine cabinet. 3 P.M oktober lagune
philosophy twist. take a trip with me to corpus callosum
where coordinates of your ghost consoles the subconscious
sort of robotic. you can control my wiring with a jolt. electronic
my own pocohantas, brunette soul. roses from tarzan and tonic
theres more than what meets the eye. morgue detailed in disguise.
the force in which you assort to, distorts the ailing device.
tobacco road, collages corroded by writings in code
chorus in falsetto, i need endorphins for one night in chicago
dr. zhivago. fireplace blisters. a crackle for every sip that i take
stolichnaya. palm reader dyslexic. punches rolled with the fist that i make
a soft season in texas. missletoes, sam adams, king cole for your taste
dismissive soul. for every broken heart, there’s a home i invade
and for every cold day, theres a lava-breathing demon. i lay
lion gazelle syndrome. in your bed, like a wolf in sheeps clothing.
love that you run from me. love that you bleed slowly
i could see you at the gazebo from the window that i deliberately sit at
pumpkin red, summer dress, willow branches whistle witcher’s “Priscilla”
i wish i knew, maybe tomorrow i’ll love you again
maybe it’s the summer air. maybe i hope that summer never ends
it’s culture and ethics. economic bolster synthetic
vulture paradigm culled and then etched in, the permanent pull of forever
do you remember we kissed? the sole member of this ringing inaction
I heard about your schrödinger attachment. how the elixir is magic
pronounce your name for me. i want to say it in dead language
i want to say it how they said it before we even existed
out loud, and painfully. full of rage, in a sweating panic
seasons remiss, i want to breathe it into existence
velvet sage. i want to say it with your hand on my neck
great minds think alike, so thats why we both brandish contempt
showered with my clothes on, alone in the stall
emptied the heaven hill, and put a hole in the wall
called the dont do it lifeline and was put on hold for an hour
wrote a letter to my parents, and choked on the vowels
bit on my tongue til the blood diluted the taste of the bourbon
put a slit through my bandage. put a blade to my churches
said a prayer so nervous. layed still for eternity
the shower ran through 6am. i heard knocks on the door
answered with an imaginary gun that held me hostage. its more
than what i made it out to be. told them i fell and i slipped
told a joke and laughed it off. told her hell is a bitch
denim has a subtle smell when drenched in whiskey and slaughter
waded as anonymous caller. speakerphone the rain of the water
looked to the sky, dissolute, dissuaded, demise
cried, laughed and told the operator i had already died
asked me if i was alright. i know id be never the same
desolate rage. i wonder where my crucifix lays.
if they could talk, what would these broken walls say
you only remember me when i start to walk away
thanks

[Quarter O]

This was like if eminem was poetic rapping about Kim... mixed with some joe budden..but more poetic.. but not all pussy like drake. You know how to express yourself intellictually about love hurting but still give off that image of a cool drunk mufucka who mastered the art of seducing all types of breezy's from all backgrounds but you choose the upper class ones.

Enjoyed the read straight up n down. I'll take a double shot of Henny straight for heartbreaks from bad bitches and in turn breaking the hearts of good bitches turning em into bad bitches. And the cycle goes on. Word. EDIT: But you werent talking about breaking girls hearts rather now as i read again you're a stalker with serious issues over sum brunette? Over who wasnt clear. And who was at the door? Oh neighbors im assuming? cuz they heard a thump when u "fell and slipped" that part wasn't clear.

I'm even interested to see if you got any music put down. Your shit would sound dope over a beat if executed right.

[Witty]

I just want to say that broken walls are a sensitive subject to me since the birth of my child

I will read this and then I'll say stuff about it that I think of in my head.

[PancakeBrah]

:pronounce your name for me. i want to say it in dead language
i want to say it how they said it before we even existed
out loud, and painfully. full of rage, in a sweating panic
seasons remiss, i want to breathe it into existence
velvet sage. i want to say it with your hand on my neck:

perfect.

this probably took you, oh, five minutes to write. or, you would say that it took you five minutes to write. this whole open mic system is relatively fucked. there are some handful of writers really, actually, worth reading here. then some orbiting mass of human-types who write things on the internet that rhyme. there were so many layers, techniques, and possible interpretations of form here, that someone who really wanted to "feed this" would have to read it over a handful of times, then let it gestate. you packed in well trod ideas, emotions, so seamlessly, worded so uniquely, or sometimes so tritely as to be now unique. whether it was earnest or not is irrelevant because of how well it was all done. in a better open mic world the people who understand writing could read this, think it over, then have a conversation. but this will probably get 7 posts then get lost in the 119 pages of this forum. like every other piece by writers of your calibur (you'd say there are no writers of your calibur but, of course, there are). i would just like to say this is one of the best pieces i've read in the past month or two i've been back here. the passage i quoted is the best, to me. but there were many others i enjoyed. and i hate boosting your ego. well done.

Thanks for the read!

[Mr. J]

I thought that Pocahontas/Tonic section was pretty cool.
the start of it could have been twisted a tad differently but it worked
your choice in description helps build a perfect backdrop.
thought the device/disguise idea was pretty well blended
enjoyed the Dr. Zhivago reference as well, some great ideas so far
bourbon/churches was pretty good, this is probably best appreciated in full form
there was a mixture of stuff that could have been chopped.
maybe its meant to be like that...whatever the purpose this was smooth.
very...fresh

[big baby]

thanks