LMAO SO I WAS STOOD IN LINE TODAY BROS AND NEEDED TO FART REALLLLLLL BAD

[sral]

queue at the damn place I was stood in was like a mile long, building full of people stood around waiting in the heat (it doesn't always rain in Crumpetville)

anyway as I'm sweating my ass off in this line of people, I can feel more and more trapped wind in my stomach. possibly from my recent worm infestation cause I been taking some over the counter shit to kill 'em but anyway, I need to fart BAD only I'm stood in this queue surrounded by the entire population of our city it feels like

I can't hold it in any longer yo, I know any minute I'm gonna have to let rip... it's unavoidable at this point, I've held it in for an eternity and it's like the devils in my bowels pushing his way out

so I try to eek out a silent one, just a small fart, enough to maybe ease my stomach for a few minutes until I'm out of this damn line

RIIIIIIIIPPPPPPP comes this giant fucking cloud of ass gas, rippling my cheeks as it blew. almost like a whale exhales water from it's blowhole, this shit was intense as FUCK! my entire insides felt like they deflated as it came out man ahahahhaa

but that's not even the worst of it, the sound was something out of this world, like an earthquake shaking the foundations level loud man, it was the loudest motherfucking fart you ever heard in your life bros

so EVERYONE in this queue has heard that shit, they all looking round to see who it is, eyes bulging in disgust and open mouths as they turned to face my general direction like "you dirty as motherfucker" "how dare you?" and even though I was kinda proud to have achieved that level of solitary godliness as a man, what I did next instantly revoked how proud I felt at that exact moment

I turned to this goofy ass mother fucker stood behind me and eyeballed him with disgust, giving him the full on stink face like it was him that did it just to front like it wasn't me who let Fartzilla go off ahahahaha

AND AS I'M THERE LOOKING AT THIS RETARDED FAGGOT IN THE QUEUE BEHIND ME, WHO HAD LITERALLY BEEN STOOD IN GROUDZERO BEHIND MY ASS CHEEKS, I NOTICE THE MOTHERFUCKERS WHITE STICK!

HE WAS BLIND

HE HAD NO IDEA WHAT ACT OF BETRAYAL I HAD PLAYED OFF ON HIM. THIS POOR BLIND MAN HAD AT LEAST 40-50 PPL THINKING HE JUST RIPPLED THE LOUDEST THUNDERCLAP OF A FART IN THIS QUEUE, AND HE COULDNT EVEN DEFEND HIS INTEGRITY

MY SHAMELESS ACT OF DECEIT WORKED PERFECTLY AND NOBODY WAS ANY THE WISER CEPT ME AND POSSIBLY HIM IF HE WASNT ALSO DEAF TO BOOT, WHICH WOULD SUCK AS HE'D HAVE MISSED THE GAS EMISSION OF THE CENTURY GOING DOWN

ANYWAY, THAT WAS MY DAY

HOW YOU DOING?



tl;dr I farted and convinced ppl it was a blind guy. for shame.