50 Shades of Grey

[CopyPat]

I’m getting older by the minute, when I’m sober kinda timid
And barely drink anymore, because I know that I’ll regret it
I think before I talk... I think I’m more evolved
I don’t get too excited or too miserable, just calm
I’m good at saving money, cause I wouldn’t pay for nothing
Unless it served a real purpose, so I put away for something
I’m careful when I drive, apparently that’s why
My insurance rates are decent, plus I’m over 25
I always pay the mortgage, since economy’s important
And I’ve got some nice things, cause I can honestly afford it
I’ve got a solid job, and I’m not a friggin slob
And I’m never late for work because I’m always on the clock
I try to eat healthy so... I dine with an extra goal
And make sure all my meals have a variety of vegetables
I’m not on that drama shit, cause I gotta be honest when
I tell it how it is… and that’s probably obvious
I’m not attracted to girls, cause I’m attracted to woman
I like the natural curves, and not the plastic-y bitches
I have a steady pace, I don’t have to win the race
And as long as shit gets done, then I’m happy with my day
I take care of my lawn, and rake there in the fall
And if I see a pesky weed I’m straight tearin' it off
Keep my house neat and tidy, I ain’t about bein' grimy
My sink always sparkles and the spout’s even shiny
I stay clean cut, got no locks or a beard
And I shave each stub until I’ve got the appearance
I wear normal style fashions, it’s embarrassing to me
These phony type faggots when they’re wearin' skinny jeans
I like moderate volumes when I listen to music
And I’m not into coffee with vanillas and mousses
Hate the cold in the winter, I stay controlling the temp
Now that’s 50 reasons why I’m way too old for this shit..


aha verse from topical tourney that didn't go to votes