you lack fundamentals in writing prose; the punctuation is arbitrary, grammar inconsistent, use of words (adjectives and verbs, generally) are either repetitive, tautological or outright egregious. occasionally tenses are confused.
nothing about the stilted narrative redeems this. nothing.
you write like a child. a dim one. with a thesaurus but no context. the only thing more painful than reading this is your illusory talent.
there's your feedback.
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