Quick vote. 2triple0 had some decent lines here and there but he was repetitive with word usage and his grammar was off in spots. His approach to the topic seemed a bit half baked; his world needed some more fleshing out for me to really get engrossed. As it stands, it just seems like some faux-deep attempt. Asylum's approach to the topic was a bit more on point and his writing mechanics were stronger.
v/Asylum
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If I ventured in the slipstream
Between the viaducts of your dreams
Where immobil steel rims crack
And the ditch in the back road stop
Could you find me?
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