[big baby]

legit tired of people writing like mmlp with these absolutely ridiculous stupid perspectives without any real connection to anything other than the tree being sentient and that somehow relating to human emotion - even though trees dont have human emotion - and trees are fucking stupid, yet complex beings. and three? (3?) i dont really care if a tree gets cut for someones christmas tree or any of the other personifying glyphs that broke into the verse. it was very tiresome, although it was pretty easy and fun to follow - although at times it seemed completely lost and very badly written. for example.

All the illuminants they throw up high at Christmas
seem to form a salubrious shadow over my existence.
They may have broken my affixes to succumb the time and season
but they won't divide my spirit for so long as I'm still breathing.
It cut my life to pieces just seeing our group ambushed.
A couple pines receded when being dragged through the mud.

first off, this entire piece (if im not mistaken) all in all, probably, mostly refers to a tree that is in the process of deforestation. the picture shows that. it looks dark. obscure. black. ominous. okay. we're past that, the first line gets into the christmas lights which is an insult to the tree (this is so fucking stupid lmao) and okay, we get it, it's disgusting to see your mothers corpse adorned with lights and people happy about it. it would fucking suck, yes. second, this is stupid (have i said its stupid?)

third, a salubrious shadow (sp) wouldnt refer to a ominous, downtrodden existence, instead it would be the opposite. if that's the case, i don't really understand (i can understand how someone could become a victim to their pain, and embrace it) the thought process of the writer, or even the tree? unless the tree is victim to stockholm syndrome of some sort, he wouldnt relish in the casted shadow, and he surely wouldnt feel wholesome to it. also illuminants? lol. so forced, but it has such a decent flow, and salubrious is a real word, that it's like fuck it! let illuminants slide through. but once you realize you're reading something completely in reverse and that it isnt written well, it just gets you upset.

They may have broken my affixes

this isn't written well. also, may have, and many of these oddly worded stanzas just give off a vibe of filler. the author uses a ton of tiny words that make up for syllable count, and the story itself seemed so forced to me that it was just a headache throughtout, just ...look @ what i bold

I hate Christmas time with a fervour of endless passion
and this is why the firs on my neck are standing.
They firm as I'm getting angry at how they left us all
how they murdered the rest my family without a second thought.
But I'm not grounded anymore or left in the rough
I'm out to settles scores and revenge is a must.
Cause in my neck of the woods (lol @ pun)things are handled differently.
My parents were cut for a family's Christmas tree!?!
I'd been dragged implicitly by the branches of my pile,
forced to stand up within reach of my captors as they smiled.
They shackled me inside a brace with bolts in my skin
then glance at me reviled because I'm growing so thin.
Cargo holding me in, unmoved as the chains stick.
To the home where they live to be used as a makeshift.
Its a dark room that I'm placed in as they clutch on my pines.
As soon as they made it, I was pushed to the side.
They plucked and they pried as I tried to escape
then strung me in wires to bind me in place.
They tie me in weighted baubles while doing this
and deprive me of basic water and nutrients.
All the illuminants they throw up high at Christmas
seem to form a salubrious shadow over my existence.
They may have broken my affixes to succumb the time and season
but they won't divide my spirit for so long as I'm still breathing.
It cut my life to pieces just seeing our group ambushed.
A couple pines receded when being dragged through the mud.
The trees had dad's view obstructed when taking my mom away.
As our leaves and grassroots were cut for the sake of a holiday.
Theyre celebrating St. Boniface but my face isnt bonny
I hate them for what they've made me by truncating my body.
Even saying their sorry wouldn't end the discussion,
I'd take their apology, and tell 'em to shove it!
They'd been pressing my buttons til I was visibly lit!
Endlessly humming to the chimes of christmassy hits.
As the lighting spindles a bit that surrounds my brittle leaves.
I know the slightest flick of a switch could put me out my misery!!
The count down to Christmas seems a mindless hodgepodge
until a howling winter breeze whistles my final swan song.
The lights I've got on dimming gently in descent,
a crass reminder of what little energy I've left.
If this is meant to be the end then they'll need all they've got.
Cause though they've sentenced me to death, I won't leave in a box.
I'll hold every needle aloft to help scratch them and prick 'em.
So they bleed every droplet they sapped from my siblings.
I'll ensure my branches are twisted so they struggle with it.
Then even as they bag up my clippings, I'll be under their skin.
I'll be in every cut, every splinter, every finger that's bled.
So even as the woodchipper grins at me, this isn't the end...

alot of the words, tiny words, ill, then, there, the, i a, and, of, who they, wont, them, from, my , are, so, they, their, theyve there theyre, the them, must, just, of

so many words, say more with less. it'll work. also the transitioning to a new stanza with the writing of previous schemes and bringing that scheme into the next stanza with transitioning schemes is repetitive and predictable/boring like this entire run-on sentence


innovator. nice piece. i, actually, read it. in loud voice. outloud. i liked it. it was short, and to the point. i liked this better because you used words to describe the picture but used the feelings the picture gave you and the words you usd to describe them in your piece initially.... unlike your opponent who used THE PICTURE ITSELF as the focal point. not a bad idea if it wasnt a stupid idea. anyway, i felt i spent a lot more pointing out the weak spots of your opponent rather than commending you for this vote i'm eventually going to give you. you did well, you're more a true poet than alot of writers on here. this wasnt any different. good job.

-vote inno