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Old 08-03-2014, 01:14 AM   #10
Zen
Arm the Homeless
 
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,104
Battle Record: 22-24


Champed
- Art of Writing League

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YDK: I enjoyed the flow of this, it made it a very easy read. I really didn't like the concept though honestly. Seems cliché, but the rhyming made it very enjoyable. There were some gems sprinkled throughout this though. The force to be reckoned line was my favorite. All in all, I'd say this was good, but I wish you had approached this from a different angle because in the end I think it hurt you. With a tombstone as the topic so much could've been done with it.

Certain: At the start, I didn't like the tight rows/light, exposed rhyme scheme you had going in the beginning, but once you hit the bullet points the flow came together nicely. I didn't expect you to take this route since its a champ match, but I think it worked in your favor. The bullet point about his signature being printed over the focal point was my favorite, but I chuckled at all of them and wondered if River Acheron knew you just made him your bitch. He probably doesn't, but I do so I'm voting

Certain
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